Post # 1
My BMs are hosting a shower for me. I need to get the guest list together. I am not sure whether to invite my work friends who are also invited to the wedding. I am only putting people who are local on this guest list for this shower. My aunts are hosting one for me in the town where I grew up.
If I don’t invite work friends, the number for the guest list will be 12, including my 4 BMs. I know that 2 and maybe three of those on that list won’t be able to make it. My work friends would add 10 people to the guest list, for a total of 22 people.
In the past, whenever someone gets married at work people take up money and throw an informal "shower" at the office. Assuming someone does this for me, should this be the shower for work friends and not include them on the guest list for the shower my BMs are throwing?
Post # 3
I am inviting my work friends to my shower, but I am only having 1. I am inviting 4 people from work and my other family and friends for a total of about 40 people (huge families!) Maybe you could ask one of your good friends at work if they are planning on throwing you and informal shower at work? If they are I dont think its necessary to invite them to the other and etiquette wise, people should really only be invited to one shower, unless its bridesmaids or moms (or at least if they go to more than 1 they only bring a gift to 1)
Post # 4
I can see the dilemma. Maybe I’m reading my own take on it?? If you invite them, will they feel obligated to donate twice? Will you feel awkward like you’re double dipping? Will the other office folks find out that some coworkers were invited and others not, especially if these ladies don’t contribute? (Tune in next time for the exciting conclusion… just kidding!)
I’m not sure. On the one hand I don’t see it as a problem to invite them. They will probably take into account that something like might ahppen at the office (since you seem to be aware this is standard practice.) And they will probably budget accordingly.
On the other hand, it sounds like you are looking for more people to be at the shower. I wouldn’t necessarily invite people because you want bodies. Afterall, you are ahving another shower. Will your BMs be at your other shower? Or is this the big shower event for them?
I’d lean towards just making it easier on coworkers and let them just be a part of the office shower. Then consider, or your BMs consider what fun everyone could have with such an intimate shower. Sometimes smaller is better. (The festivites that you could have that might not be possible with more guests.)
But, I don’t think it’s a huge deal either way you lean. Just my 2 cents.
Post # 5
I wasn’t sure if I should invite my work friends to the shower that my BM are throwing, especially because not everyone from work is invited. I decided against it, because like you mentioned, in the past when other people have gotten married, they have thrown a work shower for her. I assumed that if they do that, then great. If not, then I don’t think any of them will be offended because we’re having mostly family at the shower anyway.
Post # 6
What is your actual concern? If you’re concerned about having enough guests, don’t be (10-12 people is actually a pretty nice size in my experience). If you’re concerned about them feeling obligated to buy you two presents, don’t be. People should buy gifts in whateve price range and size they are comfortable, and I assume that your work friends will know whether they may be asked to attend two showers for you and they can decide for themselves how much they want to spend, and how to handle that. Just list whomever you want to be there and enjoy being a bride!