(Closed) Involving my FMIL

posted 9 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
Member
225 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I have a fairly difficult FMIL, so I feel your pain!  I would ask her for ideas on favors and minor stuff if you haven’t already decided.  Perhaps she can come in for a weekend to look @ venues and dresses?

Post # 4
Member
2641 posts
Sugar bee

What does your FI think?  Are you wanting to include her out of the kindness of your heart?  Or was she hinting that she’d like to help?  It sounds like you’ve really been trying, but she’s disappointed you with her execution of your requests.  Can you do something like, buy all the components of the favors, and ask her to assemble them?  Or maybe you can just ask her to look online for fun cake ideas or flower ideas. Then to call or e-mail you with her ideas.  Maybe just make sure she knows that you will do the ordering.  You just want her to provide you with her favorite ideas.  Maybe you can include her in regular planning questions.  you could e-mail or call once a week with questions, about guests, or what she thinks about the colors you’re tossing around, etc.

Post # 5
Member
49 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2009

My FMIL also lives a few hours away; my fiance is also an only child.  My FMIL is a sweetheart and has asked me to keep her in the loop.  Every time I speak to her, she asks if I’ve gotten a dress yet, or bridesmaid dresses, or if my own mother has picked her MOB dress – none of these things have happened.  When we picked our STD, I e-mailed her the proof of it so she could see it well before.  I am also a control freak, so rather than give her any tasks, my plan is just to do as she requested – keep her in the loop.  When I pick my dress, I will e-mail a pic of it to her (and make her swear not to show anyone, and I trust she will not); I will ask her to make a special trip and come to a fitting with me when the dress is ready.  I’ll also keep her updated on bridesmaid dresses, linens, favor ideas, etc.  I think she just wants to feel relevant and a part of the planning process, even though she will not be a decision-maker; and so the least I can do is send her a monthly e-mail.

Post # 6
Member
146 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I would just send her photos and stuff on e-mail as much as possible along the way, maybe asked her advice on household stuff that has worked for her, etc.  That way she feels involved, but isn’t really doing anything.

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