(irrational?) Fear of a MC

posted 3 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
Member
1849 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

  It’s okay! I think it’s a natural, common fear. I am currently 18 weeks along, and I was afraid that something would happen. With each ultrasound, I felt a little better. I think it’s also hard because you see and hear of so many stories of things happening to people on the Bee. Something that reassured me was talking to my mom about our family history. My grandma had one miscarriage and six healthy children. My mom had no problems getting pregnant. One of my aunts struggled, but we’ve been fortunate. That has helped me feel better.

  Also, if you don’t feel right, call your doctor. I had some light bleeding around week 9, and it freaked me out. I went in and they did an ultrasound, and everything was okay. My placenta was low, but it has corrected itself. I am so glad I called, because they got me in right away, and it saved me weeks of worrying until my next appointment :-).

Post # 4
Member
848 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Historic Chapel

@Mrs_Juice:  I was on the same boat!! I’m 9wks now, but I actually do have a history of miscariage, which happened back in April. Due to this my doctor wanted me to get some blood work done and see if my levels were going up correctly, which they are!!!! hearing that was such a relief 🙂 and I have my first appt next week at 10wks so I’m hoping I get to hear the heartbeat, I think that is the only thing that will totally calm my nerves! If I was you I would try not to worry about it, as long as you have pregnancy symptoms then your baby should be doing just fine! Good Luck

 

Post # 5
Member
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@Mrs_Juice:  I see you have joined the club, lol. I am 5 weeks and 1 day today, and I think about it all the time. I think I will feel better after my first ultrasound, but right now I am overanalyzing every flutter, cramp, bathroom session, bout of nausea, you name it. It is scary because you don’t feel pregnant. Like I said on another board if I wasn’t already showing and had sore boobs I wouldn’t believe it at all.

Post # 6
Member
2190 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

It’s not irrational at all. I think everyone goes through it. I was terrified for the first… well, I’m still terrified at 25 weeks. lol.

I think if you can give yourself “milestones” to ease your fears, that it really does help ease your stress and allow you to be a little more excited each time you pass one. For me, it was getting to 6 weeks, then seeing/hearing a heartbeat, then the 12 week mark, first ultrasound, 20 week ultrasound, viability… and now I’m excited to be approaching 30 weeks! I won’t say I don’t think about MC still and am still terrified that something will go wrong with this little peanut whom I already love so much.

We are all here for you, hang in there! It is scary but worrying won’t make anything better. Get through each day, and say “we’re another day closer!!!” 🙂 🙂

Post # 7
Member
2696 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

It’s completely normal to feel the way you feel. I think we all do at some point, or in my case, the whole way through their pregnancy.

I spotted from week 5-17..had kidney issues from week 22-birth and DD was diagnosed IUGR at 37 weeks. ..so naturally I was concerned.

My advice is to realize that worry is normal, but don’t let it consume you. You really have very little control, either way, so enjoy every single moment of pregnancy. I lived in every moment of my pregnancy, appreciating every little change, and doing everythign that I could do to facilitate a healthy pregnancy. That’s what got me through.

Post # 8
Member
11668 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think it’s pretty normal. Once I had my first u/s and saw heart beat at 6w5d, I relaxed a little. However, the fear kicked up again when my symptoms started to lighten, which was in conjunction with us telling DHs family. It’s a lot of pressure the more people that know (at least for me).  I’m 10w5d today and just heard the heart beat, so feeling much better. Try to relax and not worry too much (easier said then done) because at the end of the day, there’s nothing you can do to control it.  Relax and enjoy being pregnant! Congrats by the way! 🙂

Post # 9
Member
2783 posts
Sugar bee

@Mrs_Juice:  When I was pregnant, I was the exact same way. I literally would check for blood everytime I went to the bathroom and it’s almost all I could think about. ry not to stress about it (:

Post # 10
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I’ve had 2 miscarriages, so I think I will have a pretty constant fear throughout pregnancy. However, I am going to do my best to relax because I am a firm believer in self-fulfilling prophecies and stress being detrimental to health.

Post # 11
Member
728 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I am 7w1d today. When I first got my BFP I was so worried about having a MC. I refused to ‘get my hopes up’ and would not let myself get excited. I was just worried all the time. When we told our parents, I said ‘but it is really early, so something could happen’. DH told me that was a real downer, but I was afraid to be too happy incase something did happened. I didn’t want to get my hopes up. Then I read something on here that made me feel better. Someone wrote in a post ‘Not getting your hopes up isn’t going to make a MC hurt any less’. I don’t remember where I read it, but I realized they were right. So I stopped stressing out about a MC and let myself get excited. I figured there is nothing I can do about it and enjoying being pregnant now is not going to make a MC hurt any more than it would if I was sitting around waiting for it to happen. 

Post # 12
Member
1286 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m exactly 16 weeks and am still afraid. I check for blood everytime I go to the bathroom, google miscarriage stats by week/milestome (which I don’t recommend until you have heard the heartbeat), and obsess about missed miscarriages days leading up to every doctor’s appointment. I’m a worrier by nature, so I kind of expect it and anticipate I will be the type of parent to check to see if the child is still breathing at night (probably into their late teens).

What helps me is knowing there is very little I can do to cause, prevent or stop a miscarriage from happening, and then to slowly back away from Google (aka, my enabler). If you can, spend the time leading up to your first doctor’s appointment as distracted as you can be.

Post # 13
Member
3280 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’m seriously scared to death of having a miscarriage and we’re not even TTC!! Both our mothers had MC, my gma had several and 2 of my cousins each had one in the past few years and I hear stories all the time! I’m already preparing myself and FI for it to happen and it makes me so scared to even get pregnant. All I want is to be a wife and mother and have no idea how I would deal with losing a child. I don’t plan to tell anyone until 12+ weeks when I do get pregnant for that reason. I think it’s a totally logical fear with the amount of people it happens to, but more than likely everything will be fine! It’s just good to be prepared for the worst I guess! 

Post # 14
Member
667 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@Mrs_Juice:  Ugh can completely understand this. Im 8w4d today and constantly worry about having a missed miscarriage. As much as I like being on WB I think too much knowledge is a bad thing. People dont tend to post about positive experience unfortunately just negative ones and I mean that in the nicest way possible. I have had a stillbirth in the past so understand its a good way to get your feelings out there. Im trying to train myself to stay away from the miscarriage threads so I dont worry even more!

Post # 15
Member
4511 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I totally know how you feel… I was super concerned about a MC until last week when I saw the u/s and heard the heartbeat, but I think tat one thing we all have to start learning to accept is that we will ALWAYS worry about our child/children. I’ve been thinking about this lately, and I just don’t want to be that parent who is so paranoid about something happening to my child that I won’t let her do anything. I mean,they say one of the worst things a person can experience is watching your child die. Sad as this would be if it happens in utero, can you imagine if you had personally known your child and watched her grow up for years?! And then you watch her die? I totally hope I’m not coming across as insensitive… I’m just trying to explain my own thought process in hopes this might help you. So basically I’m saying… I think we will always worry about our children and with good reason, but there comes a point when you can’t do anything about it, ya know? And being pregnant is one of those times. And I guess for me, I’m starting to think that maybe I should be using this a time to “let go” and get used to not being in complete control of this child’s life?

Post # 16
Member
667 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@red_rose:  Its beyond sad when they die in utero…its heart breaking and giving birth knowing the negative outcome is horrible.

Leave a comment


Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors