Irrational Fear of Past Coming Back to Haunt Me

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
38 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2015

Why would your SO care you hooked up with a french guy years before you met him?

Post # 3
Member
1829 posts
Buzzing bee

kimbim:  I think your fears are extremely irrational. The chances of this guy coming to find you are so so so slim and even if he was some sort of creep who went looking for you he would have done it then, not 2-3 years later. 

Post # 4
Member
1443 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I don’t think they’re irrational at all, but I do think they’re unfounded. You did something that you feel was horribly out of character that you are worried your SO will find out about, that makes sense to me as a fellow conservative girl 🙂 but worrying yourself over it is counterproductive to me, the likelihood of him finding you is very very low. 

if it’s going to eat you up inside you can tell your SO, but like you said, it’s not a relationship that has any bearing on today and isn’t relevant info for him to know. If I were you I’d relax, not tell him, and enjoy your life now because it’s all in the past! 🙂

Post # 5
Member
996 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

I think you have nothing to worry about. Also, what kind of gets me in your post is that you seem ashamed of your secret. It doesn’t seem like you have any desire to talk about your sexual history with your SO, and I guess that’s okay, but I think I just want to make two points: 

1) Being “conservative” shouldn’t mean being ashamed of the fact that you got drunk and hooked up with a guy. It’s not a big deal, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it, and the truth of the matter is, you did it so it IS you, even if you’re not ready to admit that. But once you are, you should also know that being someone who had a casual sexual encounter is COMPLETELY FINE.

2) Open and honest communication is pretty important in a relationship. I would recommend opening up to your significant other, if only for the sake of mutual honesty and acceptance.

Post # 7
Member
7755 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

kimbim:  he doesn’t want to know! So don’t tell him.

Love- we all have mistakes, and regrets and immature actions that embaress us to look back on. These events form us, they teach us what we don’t want. Forgive yourself, be thankful for all your experiences- good and bad. They made you who you are.

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