Irrational reaction to SO's brother's engagement

posted 2 years ago in Waiting
Post # 2
1055 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2014 - Loft

SomeBlonde:  I was momentarily jealous when my sister got engaged, but it passed. I had to wait another 8 months until my SO proposed after that. Life goes on.

Post # 3
871 posts
Busy bee

I would think 2 months after their engagement is acceptable, thats enough time for them to celebrate the engagement. Weve been engaged a month and I wouldn’t mind if anyone else in my family got engaged now. I know some people are more picky about it though so 2-3 months should be fine. Just make sure both your weddings have a bigger gap (at least 3-4 months) between them.

Post # 4
5 posts

My best friend got engaged at the end of April and so I thought my now fiance would wait a long time to propose. He didn’t. 8 weeks later he got down on one knee! I initially felt really badly that he did it so close to my friend but you know what, we can’t put our life on hold for what we want just because someone else is also getting married. I bet it will still come!

Also, I have a friend that her and her sister got engaged 2 months apart and are getting married 3 months apart next year. It will work out!

Post # 5
406 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

My two cousins, who are also brothers, proposed to their girlfriends within two weeks of each other. The older brother proposed first and had a short engagement, and the younger is getting married in May. They have a good relationship and everything has worked out logistically. I’m sure your situation will work out too!

Post # 6
2704 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

SomeBlonde:  It’s normal to be sad and jealous but also happy when someone else does something that you want for yourself. Don’t feel bad for having feelings, it’s how you deal with those feelings that matter. If you’re acting happy and being supportive of them, which it sounds like you are, then great!

In terms of sibling marriage gaps, it really depends on the people… and the sibling relationship. I know some people who have carried on their their original plans to propose, and others who now feel they need to wait till their wedding is over. I don’t think there is a general rule for this. It sounds like it will be happening soon though! 🙂

Post # 7
7936 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

Yes I dealt with this exact scenario. My SO wanted to give then a minute, but proposed after they set their date. They’ll be married in April, and we will be next September. They weren’t the types to worry about “stealing thunder”.

Post # 8
319 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

You never know. He may still propose as planned. He may push it back a few extra weeks or maybe he’ll be like my FBIL’s (now) fiance.. She annoucned her PRE ENGAGEMENT several days after my FI and I got engaged. What the crap is a pre-engagement? hahah. Don’t worry! When it’s right, it’ll happen! 

Post # 9
11 posts
  • Wedding: September 2016

The exact same thing happened to me! It sucks, doesn’t it haha. The way I see it you can’t wait on moving your relationship along just because they are engaged. My SO’s brother got engaged last year and they STILL haven’t made any wedding plans at all.. and it’s been over 1 year! And if your SO is anything like mine he doesn’t even care about “giving them their spotlight”, I think thats more of a courtesy that females come up with. Let your relationship move along at it’s own pace, that’s really the only advice I can give. Plus, you never know, their engagement might light a fire under your SO to propose sooner!

Oh, and if you’re friends with your SO’s family on facebook, you might wanna take a break from facebook for a while. The hardest part for me was seeing all of their excitment and thinking “why couldn’t that have been us”. Ugh! 

Post # 10
1670 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

That’s not necessarily true – my DH’s brother got married in June, we got married in August, and MY brother is getting married in November. We all got engaged like dominoes. We tried to leave 2 months between the weddings and just got on with it. My DH told me afterwards that he never once thought that he should wait a prescribed length of time to get engaged, and he told me the only time he wouldn’t have considered doing it was like… the day before their engagement party or something.

Post # 11
2455 posts
Buzzing bee

SomeBlonde:  Don’t be so sure! My FI had plans for a while to propose on Christmas. My sister got engaged a couple weeks before Christmas and he still did it on December 25th !! 🙂

Post # 12
109 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015


I wasn’t expecting an engagement this summer, as my sister got Married June 6th, but my FI proposed June 20th…and my mom was so thankful he waited a few weeks so my sister could have her moment. So evidently, for my family, two weeks is enough time. 

Now, the very next day, my closest cousin got engaged, which bothered me a little at first, but I soon realized that it was silly to be upset. It was her moment just as much as mine!

My best friend then got engaged about a month after me, and I was nothing but happy for her!

Definitely a summer filled with love!

Point being, you never know! Honestly, I don’t think men think about these things as much as we do, haha.

Post # 13
2064 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

SomeBlonde:  im sorry i know exactly how you feel. here is my story but we are now married. 

DH and i dated for 4 to 5 years, i think, when his brother married his GF, of 4 months who became prego. they married down south with her family last min. but were gong to come back and do a court wedding. so they married there in nov, court wedding in feb. the whole time people trying to consol me…. even though i didnt really feel taht bad but after they kept saying “dont worry” “your time will come”. i think his mom even cried for me. this made me feel like something must have been wrong sicne DH hadnt asked. we felt a lot of pressure from everyone which made it …. idk weird. his BIL wanted to have a real church wedding here which was going to be soon but they kept postponing it. …. so later that november they married for the 3rd time!!!!!!! i really love both of them but you understand exactly what i was feeling. more sympathy for me. then people started to ask, “well what are you going to do if he never does”. thats a rude thing to say to a girl. i was surprised at how many people would ask this. DH asked the feb after that while we were in hawaii. he had said he wanted to wait till they were done. he didnt realize it would take them so long to have all their weddings… he put it off for almost two years. he actually told me he almost proposed the year before they even met (when we went to mexico) but decided to wait. so be prepared to wait a little longer and im sorry. ;-( but im sure he loves you dearly. try not to let resentment or jealousy build up. you will get there eventually. 

  • This reply was modified 2 years ago by  .
Post # 14
63 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Omg i feel your pain :C

He might of asked you those questions because he was trying to help his brother get a ring? IDK

Maybe he will give you a ring as well and him and his brother planned getting engaged/married  around the same time?

IDK dont lose hope especially if you truly love eachother, the time WILL come <3

Post # 15
694 posts
Busy bee

SomeBlonde:  I know you just got engaged (saw your comment on the waitlist) but I crept over here anyway and WOW I am in the same situation as this one. My SO’s cousin just got engaged and we were suppose to get enaged this past week while on vacation but now the proposals are too close together and they basically stole our thunder and our plan. I said if they got engaged first, maybe we should just get married first. I was so upset that they beat us to the punch when we had it planned all along, totally ruined my moment. We rescheduled for Feb — V-Day or my birthday! I know it’s coming in just two more months .. (: eeeekkkkk

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