Post # 1
I hate how this sounds.
In the last oh, 6 months, my sister has gone from acting like an adult to once again starting up useless competition.
Days after SO and I announced that we were wedding planning, she started telling me what I can and can’t have at my wedding so I won’t steal her ideas for the wedding she isn’t having(well now she is, at the time she wasn’t engaged and had only been seeing her bf for a week).
Now hours after I tell my Mom I am going to be taking classes to be a paralegal, my sister tells me she is no longer focusing on being in the air force but is leaving the air force reserves and is going to switch her major to legal sciences so she can be a paralegal.
She has never once expressed an interest in the legal field until now, she went so fat as to talk me out of being a paralegal because it would be too taxing for me emotionally. Whatever that means.
So..yeah. For once I would like to be known as something other than “oh look its the other twin!”
I’m venting and not quite sure how to end this so..
=| end vent.
I just want one damn thing that is mine.
Post # 3
@HelleCat: Just now saw this and wanted to offer a ((hug)). So sorry you’re having to deal with that. I have family members I no longer speak to just because they’re so toxic. I decided to keep negative people who bring me down as far on the outer perimeter of my life as possible and sometimes, sadly, that extends to family.
I wish you all the best, I hope things improve for you.
Post # 4
@Sunfire: +1 Sometimes family just sucks!
Post # 5
- Wedding: October 2014 - UK
I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this – imitation is supposed to be the best form of flattery, but that doesn’t stop it being annoying.
I’m certain no-one thinks of you as the ‘other twin’ though. She’s the one with the issues, not you. All you can do is carry on doing what makes you happy and just do your best to ignore her.
Post # 6
@HelleCat: Sorry to hear this. I have a friend that constantly imitates me. I sort of vascillate between finding it flattering and finding it irritating. I can only imagine how much worse it would be if she were my twin.
From the outside, it is easy to see who is copying whom. Keep being your awesome and sane self and don’t let her get to you. Frequently when someone is doing something only to imitate someone else, the shine wears off and they abandon it after awhile.
Post # 7
Im sorry you are dealing with this. I dont have a twin but I have an older sister who is very competitive. She was married in May of this year, my wedding is in June and even though I made sure to let her have her day in the spotlight she has done nothing so far but try to get in my way. Its so frustrating to see other people who have great relationships with their siblings and I just have one sister who can’t stand to let me have anything good unless hers is better.
Post # 8
@HelleCat: My sister and I have some sibling rivalry issues too. And I am sure there are jealousies going on, perhaps on both of our parts. I feel as if her accomplishments are always more celebrated than mine. She is praised for her excellence in school… like her masters degree from an elite university. I have a bachelor’s degree but apparently it’s not good enough since I did not have a 4.0 GPA. I got my good job years ago apparently just because I knew someone. Not because of my abilities! Ugh.
So I get it. The copying thing not so much… that stopped when we were kids… but I get the sisters thing definitely.
Post # 9
so wait are either of you engaged or not? im confused.
sisters are just that – sisters. can’t live with them, can’t live without them. Just live your life the way you want to and do the things you want to do whether she copies them or you do. Life’s too short.
Post # 10
Try not to read too much into it. There are tons of studies out there showing that twins tend toward the same things naturally so it may not even be intentional on your sister’s part. My fiance is a twin and they have the exact same hairstyle, same job, etc. and it’s not a matter of copying, it’s a matter of that’s what works best for both of them!
Post # 11
That reminds me a lot of my sister. Anything good in my life my sister will (try to) talk me out of, she will encourage/ pressure me to do things that are bad for me and make me feel bad about… anything. My sister is sick, however (not that that really makes it any easier for me). It is so frustrating, isn’t it?
When I told her DH and I were getting married one day she immediate started talking me into a wedding that “she would plan,” (she did nothing) before we were ready (we were still in school – ready for marriage -returned students- but not ready for a wedding). The moment she say me she rushed forward and said, “I have a hearts and arrows too!” and started showing everyone her ring (I have a hearts on fire diamond and she had her turn 5 years ago when she got married). She doesn’t want me to have anything, least of all anyone to like me or for me to have fun or be happy, or have a speck of anyone’s attention when it could be on her. In college she told me to “just graduate!” (Worst advice ever!!!!) My Dad manipulates too- he would say things like “your stepdad isn’t going to want to pay for too much school so you better finish up fast!” (Instead of giving me the proper allotted time to figure out my direction)… Anyway!
I am sorry your sis is acting like this. Maybe she is very jealous of you or feels lost and needs someone to cling to for some direction?
Post # 12
@MrsWBS: SO and I are planning a wedding. My sister was not engaged at that time. Now she is. Happened about 2 months after SO and I announced wedding plans and about a month or so after she met her boyfriend.
The weirdness being, SO doesnt like to say we are offcially engaged, though he has told me to start planning the wedding he hasn’t “offcially” popped the question. He wants to do something big and flashy knowing him.
Thank you Ladies, I really appreciate the support =)
Post # 13
(((((HUGS))))) It sucks that you’re going through this, and I’m impressed that you’re being so level headed about it and venting here instead of at her. Sending you comfort and support.