Post # 1
Have any of you had people in your circle of friends that drive you completely up the wall? How did you deal with them? My Fiance and I moved across the country almost two years ago and live without any relatives or friends nearby. Since we’ve been here, we’ve met other couples and made a few friends, but I think having a strong network of friends, especially being so far away from our families, is important. I hate feeling like we want to alienate ourselves from anyone that we’ve become friends with (especially when it’s the wife of one of FI’s co-workers).
The thing is, whenever we hang out with them (alone or with other friends), she never fails to say something to offend or just do things that grate on our nerves. She yells at her husband in front of us, has scolded my Fiance for not being at our house when they arrived (she told him he was holding up dinner and she was hungry), shoved our dog out of her way, etc. etc. What really took the cake was the night I got engaged, I texted some of my girlfriends here and her reply was “holy crap we need to kick butt into shape kickboxing!!” She then asked for a picture of my ring and when I sent it to her, her response was “ow ow, hot mama…oh wait, that’s me ;)” meaning…she used my engagement to tell me she is pregnant. Good for her, but she was only 5 1/2 weeks, so I think that could have waited a day or two after my engagement. She told me before they even told their parents!! And she never did tell us congratulations or even say that she was happy for us.
It’s like she wants the world to revolve around her and if the attention is ever off of her, she’s desperate to get it back. My Fiance has absolutely no patience for her and I have tried to be nice, but it’s like every time we’re with them, more and more annoyances get piled on. It’s tricky to just cut them out since Fiance works with her husband and I’m also in the same book club as her, but I really wish we could just not see her. Ever. Her husband is cool, though, unfortunately. Ahh! Any advice? Thanks!!
Post # 3
@ejay15: I have a “friend” that is almost EXACTLY like that. The world revolves around her, at all time. The stratagy I’ve used is to distance myself from her. This, unfortunately, has meant distancing myself from a few other friends as well. But, I find myself happier in general because I’m not constantly upset about something she did or said.
If you do continue to see her, you should try to realize that’s how she is and she’s not going to change. For your own sanity, you can’t let her get to you.
Post # 4
@Mrs.DBee: Thanks for your advice! As much as I hate to be picky with the few friends we have here, I think you’re right. Three weeks after my engagement, and I’m still stewing over her response, on top of everything else she’s done to irritate us. I need to just get over it and not let it get to me 🙂
Post # 5
I’ve found there aren’t a shortage of people to meet or good people for that matter. Once a friend made me regularly miserable and nothing would help the relationship I would dump them. Seriously. Life is hard enough without having to deal with someone who is a happiness drain who’s posing as your “friend.” For that matter, I don’t believe you should have “friends,” only friends.
That’s just me though. I know it’s a tough situation to be in. Sorry you’re having to deal with someone like that. But I would suggest approaching her about her behavior before you dump her, if that’s what you choose to do. I had one friendship that was on the line and it turned out confronting her was all we needed to get back to a really great place. But if talking it out doesn’t help, I just distance myself from them permanently.
Post # 6
well, I’d avise keeping her around to meet other friends through her. but if you’ve known her for 2 years, I’d say stop calling her. you’ve probably already tapped her as a resource for meeting others, and she sounds annoying.
stay patient– it was about the 2 year mark before my friend group suddenly seemed to explode and multiply!
Post # 7
@claireos: @janie-janie: Thanks for the words of encouragement! I don’t really have time or space in my life for “friends,” especially when I do have some really great friends here. It’s pretty obvious that I’ve distanced myself from her and she hasn’t contacted me or made any effort as to find out why. It’s been kind of nice not having to deal with her annoying-ness, though!