Is $175 per bridesmaid too much for shower/bachelorette?

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Should I do something extra for my bridesmaids since they are paying $175 towards my shower/bach?
    yes, plan something for them the night of (thank you gift or drinks, brunch the next AM, etc.) : (26 votes)
    52 %
    yes, just add something extra to their bridal party gift : (6 votes)
    12 %
    no, don't worry about it : (18 votes)
    36 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1747 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Honestly, I think $175 for both is a steal! Think about it this way…that’s only $87.50 per event and given how much these things can cost (depending on the who, where, what of it all) – that’s a pretty small margin. You shouldn’t feel guilty…just feel GRATEFUL and make sure that you express that in a meaningful way to each of your girls! 

    Stop thinking that this is tit-for-tat because it’s not. What you gift to them (and it sounds like you are being generous already) is your perogative and the same goes for them. You shouldn’t set any parameters on what they can or cannot GIFT to you. It’s a gift! That’s not for you to decide. Don’t feel guilty if people want to shower you with gifts and love during a very momentous time of your life. Enjoy it, be grateful for it, and thank them the best way you know how! Best of luck!

     

    Post # 4
    Member
    2042 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @jennygrl070:  Well, my parents didnt tell my BMs to pay for anything.  My parents paid for my shower, and Im not having a bachelorette… If i was a BM and I was told to pay that Id be upset.  That is just me personally though. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    657 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    Um hello 175 is crazy cheap for your BM and MOH each for shower and bachelorette. I have never paid less than $1000 to be in a wedding party. Don’t worry about it, it’s definitely a reasonable amount

    Post # 6
    Member
    6503 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    If I was a BM I probably wouldn’t bat an eye at that price for the two events, however, I know that we are more financially secure than many of our friends our age. I really think it depends on the person.

    Post # 7
    Member
    9412 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    @jesssamesssa:  +1. Unless you are my family, you aren’t getting my money 😛

    Post # 8
    Member
    9412 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    @MrsBeck:  I’m financially secure too but I didn’t get that way by giving away my money 😛

    Post # 9
    Member
    2565 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    Only your bridesmaids can really answer this question, if they are willing and able to spend that then no, it is not too much.

    As others have said it is for the shower and the bachelorette, and I think it is not bad at all.  I would not have a problem paying that for a friend if I was her bridesmaid.

    Post # 10
    Member
    2687 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2015 - Ketchum, ID

    @MrsPanda99:  I think you can go to parties every once in a while, and splurge on things every once in a while, and still remain financially secure. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    11712 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I don’t think that’s expensive for both events, plus the shower gift!  If I undertake the role of a BM, I understand that it incurs a financial cost, and I would be happy to contribute to both.

    Post # 12
    Member
    538 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @jennygrl070:  I think its a bit much, but if I was asked to pay that much I would just pay it becuase I agreed to be a BM

    Post # 13
    Member
    9412 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    @mrspinesol:  Oh, I do splurge…on my family. I wouldn’t be a BM for anyone other than my sister anyway so it’s a non-issue. Trust me, I have lots of nice stuff and we do go out. However, I’m the one who worked for that stuff and I don’t just spend money on other people without question (except family). I also hate being asked to spend money. If I’m getting you a gift because I want to, great. If you’re asking me to fund something, not so great. 

    I think the theme here is that MrsPanda99 privileges her family over all else, lol.

    Post # 14
    Member
    205 posts
    Helper bee

    Considering what I’ve paid for the past few weddings I’ve been in, that’s nothing! One of the weddings I was in was $450 per bridesmaid just for the shower!

    Post # 15
    Member
    2687 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2015 - Ketchum, ID

    @MrsPanda99:  Well I guess it’s different if you refuse to be a BM for anyone. For me, if I’m a bridesmaid, it’ll only be for people I really care about. I love spending money on people I care about, and I love gift giving. So I’d spend money as a BM in a heartbeat, assuming that I could comfortably do it. 

    Post # 16
    Member
    6503 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @MrsPanda99:  as long as they’re choosing to do it I think it’s fine. If she were forcing it upon them it’s a different story.

    I know we aren’t supposed to expect anything from our wedding party (and I didn’t but was pleasantly surprised) but when I accept a position in a bridal party I do so knowing that I will put money towards the shower and bachelorette. However, I have only said yes to my three very best friends. Dropping a couple hundred dollars for their shower and party didn’t really feel like a burden to me. I definitely understand people who are put off by that amount though! It’s just that I plan on spending at least that much when I agree to being in their party.

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