is 9 bridesmaid too many?

posted 2 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
7281 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

Do you really want to wrangle the schedules, personalities, likes/dislikes, etc. of 9 people? That sounds like a surefire recipe for a bridal meltdown to me.

Post # 4
Member
585 posts
Busy bee

All I can say is every large party I have seen like that has not ended well. A few of them have actually disbanded or kicked out a member or two. People don’t participate as much as others, people have different budgets. It can cause drama that you don’t need during the already stressful time. I think smaller parties’ tensions are easier to manage. I am sure some end just fine, but I have never encountered one that someone isn’t bitching most of the process. Usually the bride. That’s just MHO though.

That being said, I think for a wedding that size you could do a bridal party and a house party. They could help with seating guests, the guestbook, etc. All those large parties I know of, regarless if they disbanded or not, the weddings were well over 200+.

Post # 5
Member
864 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

scarlette.seaman:  i don’t think there’s a set number that, once you go over it, then you have “too many.” i do think, however, that a sensible number is 5 or less. i mean after all…when you start getting close to 10 on your side, that’s probably that many on your FI’s side too. well now you have a 20-24 person bridal party if you include flower girls and/or a ring bearer. that is ONE FIFTH of your entire guest list standing at the altar. it’s a lot.

Post # 6
Member
6026 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

9 bridesmaids = 9 chances for drama. So, yes, too many.

Post # 7
Member
1669 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

scarlette.seaman:  to give you a more positive spin on this…i had about 130ish guests at my wedding and had 9 bridesmaids and 8 groomsmen everything went great…there were no hiccups…and i loved everything about it! maybe i just have really nice and easy friends, but i didn’t have to “wrangle” anyone. it was beautiful having those 9 wonderful friends by my side. they were nothing short of amazing.

ps- there is no right or wrong here. its YOUR wedding. do whatever you want!!!

Post # 9
Member
2873 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

While there is no right or wrong answer, think to yourself what do you expect out of these girls.  If you expect them to show up to your wedding with a dress and that is it, you are going to probably have a lot better time of it.

If you expect all of these girls to arange, show up for and pay for a shower and bachlorett party, or more than one pre-wedding event, you are inviting drama in.  Corrdinating the schedules of 9 people will be difficult.  Someone will plan on a party with all 9 girls contributing equally, but 2 won’t be able to make it, and 2 won’t be able to afford it, leaving the burrdon on 5 instead of 9 which makes someone resentful. 

Post # 10
Member
1303 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2015 - Chapel on Base

I think that having 9 bridesmaids is entirely up to you since it is your wedding.   One thing I would keep in mind is the guest list.  You can assume you are already deducting 18 (9 bm + so) people from your guest list.  Chances are you were already inviting them but you could end up with guests you didn’t plan for.  

Post # 11
Member
1881 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I had 8 and woudn’t trade it for anything. There was no drama or anything. However, I knew going in that none of these girls would cause drama for me, and I couldn’t imagine my wedding without them. If you are on the fence about anyone, don’t have them.

Post # 12
Member
1669 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

 JrzyGurl:  i agree with you on this for sure.

i wonder if the lack of drama has to do with my age/the age range of my bridesmaids? i was 33 when i married, and my bridesmaids aged from 29-34…no drama throughout the whole process. they threw a shower and a bachelorette weekend, and everyone who could come and help and participate did, and if they couldn’t…no big deal. it was awesome. they are also all pretty good friends so that helped as well…we’re one big happy family!

Post # 13
Member
2871 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Yes, I think so. I think it starts to look like a circus.

Post # 14
Member
1037 posts
Bumble bee

blankenshiptobe:  

I dont think its age. Most women are around that age range getting married these days. I think it’s more who you surround yourself on a normal basis. If you already have drama without a stressful event, it’s only going to get worse. 

 

If you want 9 bridesmaids, go for it! But I would think really hard if anyyy of those girls tend to be dramatic/jealous/etc. and decide then if you want that specific person to be a part of your wedding.

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