Post # 1
I want to have our ceremony at the base of the closest mountain to where we live (we live in a very flat area, this mountain is small but gorgeous) the only problem being that FI thinks the 30 or so minute drive will be too far to ask people to come.
We are having a small 75-guest wedding, and will be having the reception hopefully at another spot about 5 minutes out of town in another direction. We will be taking a few hours between wedding and reception for photos at various locations, one of those being at this mountain (a must), and another location along our local river between this mountain and the town (also a must) and finally at the reception site – which is gorgeous, has a river, old homesteads and gardens.
Is it too far? FSIL had her ceremony 5 minutes out of town and her reception later in their home community, which is 15 minutes towards this mountain I love. (just for reference)
Post # 3
I’m a little confused, so 30 minutes for most guests to the ceremony and then another 30-35 minutes back to where they came from? Plus multiple hours between the ceremony and reception where guests aren’t doing anything? If that’s the case then I don’t really think that works, essentially that’s an hours drive broken up by a 15 minutes or so ceremony and then a few hour break until the reception. If I’m off on what you’re saying, then ignore that.
Post # 4
Not too far at all, IMO. In my area, that’s cross town with traffic! However, a gap of more than say 45 minutes between the ceremony and the reception is considered inconsiderate of one’s guests.
Post # 5
@FutureMrsHallam: A 30 minute drive is nothing to those who are used to big cities.
A few hours between wedding and reception? Can you not take some of these pics before the wedding? A few hours is really too long to ask your guests to fend for themselves.
Post # 6
@FutureMrsHallam: I don’t think it’s too far. Most of my guests will be travelling an hour or so, one direction. Of course, my ceremony and reception will be at the same location, but where I come from, it’s at least a 30 minute drive just to get to a grocery store. LOL! And here, most people don’t come to the ceremony anyway, they just come to the party. 🙂 Do what you have to do to make YOUR day everything you’ve dreamed of. The people who love you and your FI will be there, no matter the distance.
Post # 7
@weddingmaven: Really? I don’t get all these comments see, Ive only ever been to weddings with a few hours between – for photos. Im a bad juju kinda person and I don’t want pictures beforehand. Its unheard of here as far as I know!
@julies1949: We’re not in a city but a country town, we used to drive an hour to get to a decent supermarket when I lived a little further away haha. No photos before, see above comment.
@AmandaJK: Weird, Ive never heard of people missing the ceremony but going to the reception unless that was the way they were invited. Its about 30 minutes between each town around here, being in a rural area, but we’re in the biggest town around. Your right though, I know everyone will be there, the only reason for the question at all is because I fell like every decision about this wedding has to be made to suit his family and to make THEM happy 🙁 I spose they WILL get over it…
Post # 8
@FutureMrsHallam: I don’t think it’s too far at all. As far as the gap in between, I’m with you. Every quincenera, wedding, etc has had a couple hours from the ceremony and the reception. I don’t know why some brides think their guests are kids and can’t be left unattended. There’s a gap? Go back to the hotel. Grab food. Visit with other family. Help the hosts set up if necessary. It’s just what we do.
Post # 9
@FutureMrsHallam: As a guest I wouldn’t care for it, but it’s your wedding and only you know your guests well enough. I personally thought that cocktail hour was supposed to be for taking pictures so that your guests have something to do for the entire event. However, if gaps like this are common amongst your friends, I would think they would understand.
Post # 10
Lol, half my bridal guests are flying across the country to attend our wedding. 30 minutes is not far at all. I drive an hour and 15 minutes to work and an hour and a half to school one way. XD Most of my family in this area will be driving anywhere between 45 minutes and 10 hours. xD I definitely don’t think 30 minutes is far AT ALL.
Post # 11
@julies1949: +1. I would take the pics pre-ceremony to cut out some of the time. But other than that, a 30 min drive is fine. My wedding was 45 mins away from our hometown where 90% of the guests lived and we had a 60 guest wedding.
Post # 12
I don’t think a 30 minute drive is any problem. Especially since you are in Australia where many people are used to driving far longer distances to go shopping! In fact, even here in England, it’d take at least 30 minutes to cross town in our nearest city.
I am slightly concerned at the “several hours to take photos though” if this means more than two hours, max. What are your guests going to do while this happens? Only unless you provide something for them to eat and do OR split the day into two – ceremony followed by several hours break before the reception – you’ll have a lot of bored unhappy guests milling about waiting for you to rejoin them. There’s only so much polite conversation you can enjoy in the absence of anything else happening! Either way, you need to make the timings absolutely clear on the invitation.
Post # 13
@HonoraryNerd: That’s what I figured, we decide what we want to do between events normally, why not now?
@housebee: I would love to do something like that, but it would be a bit awkward because our food is heavy fingerfood 😛
@Steampunkbride: I don’t really get what you mean, because 80% of our guests live in town so would go home or to others’ homes, and my family I will be providing with options, but those with kids I will be offering our house up to for them to go to. (kid friendly – I love videogames, boardgames and stuff :P)
Bees; I thought about maybe completely setting up the day before and just telling them the reception venue will be open almost straight away (no more than a 10 minute wait if they drove straight from one to the other) with a cash bar for them to arrive whenever they want? What do you think?
Also, the photography I should have been more clear on: we will be more than an hour, hopefully within 1.5, but I will allow for an absolute max of two in case of mishaps.
I know for FSIL’s wedding we were actually not allowed in the venue for about 20 minutes after we arrived. It was FREEZING (girls in thin dresses) and windy. FSIL told me just a few weeks ago that she wanted guests to only have just gotten into the venue when they arrived, not have been settled in. I was irrationally mad at that, we were so uncomfortable and cold, because she didn’t want us in long before them?? WHAT?
Post # 14
@FutureMrsHallam: That sounds better. There is a big difference between 1.5- max 2 hours and a few hours. I wasn’t suggesting pics of the two of you before the wedding. I wouldn’t want that either. But the photographer can take pics of you and the BM’s, the groom and the groomsmen, you and your family, him and his family etc. That leaves way less pics to be taken following the ceremony.
Post # 15
@FutureMrsHallam: Now you’ve explained what’s happening it sounds fine. It is just that from your first post it looked as if you planned to have the ceremony, then a break of several hours and then a reception without any mention of what your guests were expected to do for those several hours. If they have their own homes to go back to or hospitality at someone else’s home then that’s great.
But I have been to a couple of weddings in England where the majority of the out of town guests were surprised to discover that they were expected to hang around, far from home, and without any available hospitality, Even the local guests didn’t know what they were supposed to do because the invitation didn’t make it clear that there would be a considerable break between the ceremony and the reception.
It sounds as if you have this covered though.
Post # 16
Mine was a 1.5-2 hour drive, at 9 in the morning. But where I live almost everyone is very used to driving long distances. We also didn`t want to do any pictures before, so we had a couple of hours in between. No one minded, in fact they all had a lot of fun! the only difference is that our reception was at the same place as our ceremony. Go for it!