Post # 1
Regular bee going anon- ever since I read one Bee’s story about her in laws finding her Weddingbee, I want to be really careful when I post things about people!
Ok here’s the story- basically it has taken months of shopping and many different trips for my FMIL to find a dress she likes and I have gone with her every time (she was shopping in the prom section and some of the things she liked were so inappropriate for a wedding that I felt like I always needed to be there). I have an amazing relationship with her and I love her and she would never be difficult maliciously. She is just very concerned with style and her personal style is kind of… not understated lol. Anyway, this has been a source of frustration for me as it took me one trip to find my dress and I feel like everyone else is being a diva about theirs haha. But I digress. She found a great dress a couple weeks ago. It shows off her figure while being age appropriate, it’s pretty and it works for the wedding! The thing is, it’s black. I didn’t even know there was a rule about this!! But apparently there is! My MIL’s own mother made a comment about it, and I’ve heard several comments about what a horrible faux pas it is for a MOG or MOB to wear a black dress to the wedding. Would you think badly if you saw the MOG wearing black? What IS the rule anyway? Is it one of those outdated things or is it honestly inappropriate?
Post # 3
@anonymousfornow: There’s a rule about this?
Post # 4
@housebee: that’s what I said!!
Post # 5
@anonymousfornow: There’s a reason that it was MIL’s mother who said this. She’s older.
It’s an old rule, stemming from the days when no women wore black to a wedding. It no longer applies.
Post # 6
@julies1949: at first that’s exactly what I thought! Then I was talking to a friend that’s my age about our dress-finding adventure and she goes “well at least she’s not wearing black or something!!” And I was like :-O
Post # 7
Eh, I wouldn’t think anything of it if your date really is in October (a fall/winter etc wedding). If she wore a big black dress to a summer wedding I might be like what…? lol
People wear black to weddings all the time!
Post # 8
Post # 9
@anonymousfornow: I would not think anything of it, especially seeing an older woman in black. But honestly, I don’t think I would think twice about seeing anyone in black at a wedding. I think that rule is kind of done.
I take that back, I once performed at a wedding where the bride wore black.
Post # 10
Well, the “rule” is that when either one of the mothers wears a black dress it signifies that she doesn’t approve of the wedding. At least that’s what I heard.
But to hell with the rule! It’s probably about as old as “only virgins get to wear white” rule and we all know hardly anyone follows that one anymore! 🙂
If you both like the dress, who cares if it’s black, right?
Post # 11
@anonymousfornow: I’d really not worry about this. If your MIL hated you and she wore black to the wedding, then I could see being offended – it would be like she was making a statement lol. But you have a good relationship with your MIL! As long as she’s comfortable and happy, and YOU are comfortable and happy, I see no problem with a black dress.
Post # 12
@anonymousfornow: I see lots of people wear black to weddings. I know you’re not supposed to wear white when it’s not your wedding, but besides that, as far as I know, there is no restriction on colors.
Post # 13
@nightborn: Apparently red is also a no-no, which I’d never heard until actually being engaged. I could care less if a guest wore black or red, or even white (as long as it wasn’t long or fancier than my dress, lol).
Post # 14
- Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI
I wouldn’t worry too much about it. I went to a July garden wedding where both the MOB and MOG were told by the bride to wear short black cocktail dresses. They didn’t look out of place and no one thought anything about it.
Post # 15
I don’t see why not my MIL wore black.. not a huge deal
Post # 16
My mother and MIL both wore black. Some friends told me later they were originally surprised when MIL walked in wearing black, but realized it was planned and okay when my mother came in wearing black as well.
I think as long as it doesn’t look like a dress that could be worn to a funeral, then you’re fine with black.