Post # 1
My fiancee and I don’t have like 1,000 dollars to spend on a fancy, or even decent rehersal dinner for 30 people, but my Mom is really good friends with the owner of a chinese food restaurant and he told her he would give us a deal. Like $10 a plate deal! 🙂 I wouldn’t say that I’m a proud person, but I just hate the ideal of people feeling bad for me, or like, awww, she tried, bless her heart. 😛 So maybe I’m more afraid of looking stupid in front of people as opposed to me being prideful.
BUT! They have a seperate, private (very important to me) room for the party, (not sure how much the room rental was). I will, of course, pay for my wedding party, the parents of both the groom and me, and my pastor and his wife (We’re close with them). I may include grandparents too, if they can come!)
As for anyone else who would want to attend (aunts, uncles, cousins, who are in town and looking for something to do) will have to pay for their own. But them attending is optional, so it’s not like I’m making my bridal party, who HAS to come pay for their own meal.
I don’t want to make it really exclusive, because I just know my aunts and uncles would love to come and just spend the evening with us. We’re super close and we never get to see them anymore. But I feel like I shouldn’t have to pay for them because for them it’s optional.
So I guess this is 2 questions..
Chinese buffet, cool or not cool?
Money wise, is it cool if I just pay for my imidiate family and bridal party, but not the others who want to come just for the heck of it?
Post # 3
@silkspectre94: Chinese buffet is fine. I’m my opinion, only invite those you can afford to pay for. Try thinking of it this way – no one HAS to come to a wedding or a party, but if they do you wouldn’t expect them to pay would you? A rehearsal dinner in your honor isnt any different to me. I get a rehearsal dinner is a little different in that it follows an event you need people to attend. What I’m getting at is, I don’t feel you should mention or try and include anyone you don’t plan on paying for. Plus, what if they (the “extra” people who arent essential to the actual rehearsal) did not realize they were on a seperate check? makes it kind of awkward, wouldnt it? Just my opinion though, I’m certainly not an etiquette expert.
Post # 4
What if someone doesn’t like Chinese food? It’s not like they could order something else.
And, I think if you’re opening the invitation to everyone, you need to be willing to pay for everyone. If you can’t afford it, keep the rehearsal dinner to parents, siblings, grandparents, and bridal party & spouses only.
Post # 5
1) Chinese buffet is ok if the food is ok
2) Just invite those that you can pay for, even if it’s very little people. Everybody else will celebrate with you guys at the actual wedding.
Post # 6
@copewedding: I think that’s like saying “what if somebody doesn’t like chicken and mashed potatoes?” when it’s what’s going to be served at the wedding. they can have a drink and eat when they’re at home.
Post # 7
I think a Chinese buffet will be fine. A rehearsal dinner doesn’t have to be anything fancy. Personally, I would only invite those who I was going to pay for, because I wouldn’t know how to express to others that are responsible for paying their own way and I feel it may be akward when the bill comes.
Post # 8
I was going to have my rehearsal dinner at a Chinese restaurant, too! It wasn’t a buffet, but plated. We decided to go a different route (catering to my backyard) out of ease. I say go for the chinese! Yum!
Post # 9
Anyone invited needs to be paid for. We could not afford out of town guests who were not in the wedding, so we invited only wedding party members, our parents and everyone’s SOs.
Post # 10
1. Chinese buffet is perfectly fine since there’s a private room. I can be a little persnickety about such things so if I’M say it’s ok, rest assured it probably is, lol.
2. Please only invite people for whom you intend to pay (both your immediate families as well as bridal party and their spouses). Maybe even consider sending actual invitations. That way anyone who shows up without one (aunts, uncles and OOT guests) is more aware that they’re a tag-along and would have to pay for their own food. And its $10. They wouldn’t be able to eat on that anywhere else in town, right?
3. I wanted to vote in your poll, but the first and last options seem pretty much the same, lol. I basically feel that a Chinese Buffet is fine, it’s not tacky (the private room makes the difference in my mind) and even if you had all the money in the world, this would be a perfectly acceptable option!
Post # 11
I think it’s fine to have it at the buffet. I love Chinese buffets. But you do need to pay for everyone you invite.
Post # 12
We are having our rehearsal dinner at a really elegant Chinese buffet. Just the wedding party, officant, and immediate family. I would not invite anyone else though.
Post # 13
I have no problem with the chinese buffet! I would agree though just make your invite list VERY small.
Post # 14
We did our rehearsal dinner at a soul food buffet where the food was GREAT. We had a private, enclosed room and we took the latest time available so we had the place until they closed.
We paid for everyone in the wedding party, my parents, his parents all of the children (flower girls, ring bearers and jr. bridesmaids), our pastor and because one flower girl had a mother who was not asked to be in the wedding party, we paid for her because she’d need to bring her daughter to the rehearsal and the dinner if she wanted to go.
We requested that anyone wishing to bring their spouses, dates and/or other children pay for those people.
Post # 15
chinese buffet is fine. pay for everyone you invite.
Post # 16
Well reading about this makes me want some Chinese food now. Pay for everyone who comes and if you can’t afford it, don’t invite aunts, uncles, etc.