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Hey Ladies,
Trying to stay within budget here...is it ok just to have a cocktail hour with appetizers and then heavy hors d'oeuvres at the reception? or since its around dinner time do I have to serve dinner?
Just my experience... I really wanted a cocktail style reception with heavy hors d'oeuvres. When I had it priced out by our caterer though, it was more expensive than having a sit down meal. Basically it takes more work to prep the food, more people to serve it, etc. The amount of food that guests eat is about the same whether or not your have a sit down meal or or heavy hors d'oeuvres. Depending on the particular food, a serving was 3 pieces (meatballs) or sometimes more.
If you're making the food yourself (not using a catering company), it may be less expensive than a sit down meal. Either way, I would definitely look at the prices.
I've heard that dessert receptions can be a less expensive option, but I think you would probably have to have the reception earlier (afternoon before dinner time) or in the evening (after 8pm).
what about just a buffet style dinner? is that about the same price as heavy hors doeuvres?
This is just my experience (maybe some other bees will chime in!) but our buffet dinner was more expensive (by a little bit) than a seated dinner. The basic reason is that more food has to be prepared. People tend to take more food at a buffet than they would be served. In addition, if you have two main dishes, people may decide to try both! Or one dish may be much more popular than the other and you don't want to run out of it before everyone gets an opportunity to go through the line. Basically double the food has to be made, just in case.
So, at least at our venue, the least expensive to the most expensive: seated dinner < buffet < heavy hors d'oeuvres.
I am a big fan of the hors d'ouevre/cocktail receptions- I'm having one myself! But heavy hors d'ouevres at 5 pm need to be pretty heavy...otherwise hungry guests might leave your wedding early to grab dinner on their own.
My wedding reception starts at 8 pm so we can avoid "mealtime" and I am over-communicating with my guests that it will be a cocktail/hors d'oeuvres reception so they know to eat something beforehand.
If you are set on 5pm, I would suggest trying to do a small dinner, rather than appetizers and heavy hors d'oeuvres. I would even cut back on the bar if necessary. But at 5 o'clock people will expect dinner and might get frustrated if they keep waiting for dinner to appear and it never comes. The good news is Eva is probably right. We also priced heavy hors d'oeuvres and found that it was about the same as a light dinner (salad, meat and two sides).
If your guest list is around 100 or so, check out restaurants as well as traditional wedding venues. They sometimes have better prices, and many will let you have all the same elements of a reception elsewhere. Or, if you want the cocktail reception feeling, push it to a little later in the evening and be clear on the invitation that it isn't dinner so that people know to eat beforehand.
I think 5pm isn't a good time to just have apps. (Unless your plan was to have enough apps to really qualify as a dinner.)
I don't have experience with the price of apps compared to the price of dinner. Although I'd believe it could be more expensive. But I do agree with Eva, buffets at our venue were more expensive than at least some of the sit downs.
our reception has to be over by 10 pm due to city ordinances so I wanted to start the wedding earlier...5 pm to 5 30ish so that we have the most time to enjoy our guests/venue. ps-our ceremony and reception are in the same place. so i think a later wedding is out of the question...hmmm....not sure what to do now...
I'm going with a buffet, as it's significantly cheaper at our venue than proper sit down. I did inquire about an hors d'oeuvres/finger food situation, but was told it's actually dearer, that people eat an awful lot more when 'grazing' in this way, than they will when filling a regular plate with what's essentially a dinner!
I'm also organising an 80th birthday party for my dad in July, and the venue for that said the same - it's cheaper to have a full service hot buffet than even just sandwiches, vol au vents and sausages!
So really talk to your venue/caterer. Good luck!
hors d'oevres are actually cheaper according to the caterer then a sit down or a buffet...its very common to do in charleston...but I dont want any of my out of town guests (which are many) to be disappointed...
Were you planning on having really heavy apps? If not, I wouldn't recommend that, considering all the OOTers you have. If they're coming a long way, and paying for hotel and travel expenses to go to your wedding, I would recommend having a dinner for them.
@aunt pol -what's vol au vent?
With the time of your ceremony and reception, you are hitting every guest's dinner hour (no one will eat dinner before your ceremony because it is early and it'll end too late for anyone to eat dinner). I think heavy hors d'oeuvres really only work for a later reception. I'd look into plated dinners with limited choices and then skip the cocktail appetizers if you are going over budget. I think with that early of a ceremony you don't need appetizers before the dinner.
Ms Teddy - we have similar situations. 5:30pm wedding at the same location as the reception. Once I priced everything out, it was least expensive to do a sit-down meal. Have you looked at prices at your venue yet? I would check them out just to see if apps really are going to be less expensive (you'd have to have LOTS to keep people full).. then worry about moving your time if you're set on apps. :)
Oops sorry I didn't see your post about apps being less expensive! Even in the larger quantity you would need?
it might be okay if you let folks know ahead of time. i know i would be pissed and starving if i went to a wedding around dinner time and all i got was munchies. but if i knew it ahead of time i could have a small meal before hand to tide me over....
I went to a "heavy hors d'oevres" wedding in September, but I ended up getting two bites of food. The trays were mobbed as soon as the waiter entered the room and they never made their way around. I got reeaaaaalll drunk on accident.
So if you do it, make sure they are not "passed" appetizers, but on a table where people can actually make themselves a plate.
The only other suggestion I have would be to verify that the prices the caterer gave you were for enough hors d'oeuvres to replace a meal. When I initially looked at the prices for hors d'oeuvres at our venue, I thought it was going to be a lot less expensive than a seated dinner. Then they explained to me that that was the price for hor d'oeuvres during cocktail hour only. Basically we would need several times more food that that if we were looking to replace a full meal (and the price like tripled or quadrupled).
If you are confident that there will be enough food to replace a full meal for all your guests, you'll probably be fine. It sounds like this is pretty common if your area. Have you been to other weddings recently? What did they do?
Also, a cost cutting trick that I was told... serve the "expensive" hors d'oeuvres as passed because people are less likely to grab a whole handful from the waiter. Have the less expensive hors d'oeuvres on a table (or stations). Make sure the staff plan to refill the table though - I've heard it tends to get picked over really quickly!
Well, if it turns out that hors d'oeuvres are the only thing in your price range, I would say make sure to put "hors d'oeuvres reception" or "cocktail reception" on the invites and hope people will eat beforehand. It may not be ideal, but with weddings sometimes you go with what you can do rather than what your would ideally want to do. With prior warning, an early dinner (on their own), and hors d'oeuvres to munch on all night they should be fine.
If you're hoping to have things go from 5-10, you really need to give people some dinner. Otherwise, people are going to bail early to get food.
Ms. Teddy, I think your plan is perfectly acceptable. I was at a wedding last September where they did it and it was great. It seemed more like a buffet really with just different stations around. I too am planning a wedding in Charleston too and I was originally set on a buffet but it was only $1.00 more per person to make it Heavy Hors d'ourves and there is waaaay more food involved! I also loved my friends wedding so much I decided to go for it! I think the idea might be surprising to some but my menu has something for everyone, chicken, beef, pork, shrimp, hot and cold side dishes and more! We are also doing a cocktail hour with hand passed light finger food hors d'hourves to start the evening. I'm really not worried about people being hungry so many people do this, especially in Charleston, I think you'll be fine. Just curious, where are you having your wedding??
We just attended a 730pm wedding with reception following and were told there was a buffet. Turned out to be sort of heavy snacks & everyone refrained from having dinner to have the buffet. If you are going to have a heavy snack reception, just tell people. I dont' think they will be offended, but they will thank you for the heads up and grab a snack before hand!
whatever you do- please don't think a dessert only reception at 5pm is a good idea.
I recently went to a 5:00 reception (very small) and all they had was dessert. I had just got off work, and was starving. Needless to say, we left one and half hours later to retrieve some real food.
It probably would have been cheaper for that wedding just to serve a sandwich tray. AND I wouldn't still be complaining about it.
I'm having a heavy hors d'oeuvres reception, but all of my planning is based on it being a meal replacement (read: LOTS of food, served in strategic ways to ensure everyone eats enough). At 5, you would have to do the same. If your caterer really can offer this kind of reception at a lower price (which I have found it costs the same if not slightly more), go for it, but you must think really hard about how to make sure everyone eats enough like a full dinner. We are combining cold apps on a table, passed hot apps, and a small plate for each guest that has three selections.
We chose this approach to have more of a party feel than a traditional reception. It is not saving us money, and it is making planning harder.
I agree with other posters that as long as you make it very clear that it is heavy hors d'oeuvres only, I don't think it would be a problem. I would just keep in mind that heavy hors d'oeuvres probably won't be a substitue for a meal. It is less expensive for a reason, presumably because less food will be served. If I was a guest and was given advance notice to eat before I came to the wedding, I would have no problem with it and would think that it was fun!
I think it's a good idea as long as there is enough food for the hors d'oeuvres to substitute for a meal. At the venue we are considering, it would save us almost $1000 to do that instead. We are still debating on it.
We're having this kind of reception as well, but it is the most expensive of the options offered by the caterer we're using. The wedding is at 5,cocktail hour/passed hor d'oerves/raw bar is outside on the deck until 6:15, then everyone will be called in for what is called a 'continuous cocktail party'. Reception will end at 10:30.
We're having 10 kinds of passed hor d'oerves, raw bar consisting of clams,oysters,shrimp,crab legs,seafood salad. There will also be several cheeses,crackers & breads,fresh veggies with several dips and a variety of fresh fruit. Inside we'll have antipasto served family style on each table with a variety of rolls and breads. We have 3 chefs at carving stations serving pork,roast beef and turkey and fresh cooked to order pastas with 4 different sauces, a mashed potato bar with 6 toppings and Caesar salad. For dessert we have wedding cake and a dessert bar filled with cannolis, a variety of pastries, cream puffs, eclairs,cookies and a coffee bar. I think we have plenty of food,and if anyone leaves hungry I'd be shocked.
I think you should see what options are being offered,and if you have enough of a variety, your guests will leave happy and full.
ok ladies...talked to the caterers and wedding planner...heavy hors deouvres actually has MORE food with MORE variety. and is perfectly acceptable here in the south and actually preferred. everyone leaves full and this kind of reception encourages socializing a lot more. you can also get the party started earlier because you dont have to wait for everyone to finish eating like you would at a sit down dinner. this type of heavy hors deouvres reception is actually cheaper also...so im thinking this will definately work out.
@june42011-I think thats exactly what we are having. charleston does that for basically every wedding. its a more laid back way to do it and you dont tell people where and what to eat. they can munch all night and sit where they want. now that i think about it I went to a wedding like this also...but I just thought it was a different way that they served dinner! I was extremely full by the end of the night and i definately had a great time!
Personally I like the idea of a heavy hors derves reception, thats allllways my fav part of weddings parties. If it works price wise for you I say go for it, as long as people have enough food, they will be happy!!
I'm having a tapas buffet around 6ish, which is essentially the same thing as heavy hor dourves. There will be a big selection of warm and cold tapas as well as nacho chips/dip and various nuts on the table.
The really great thing about tapas is there's something for everyone. I have 2 vegetarians coming and requested that most of the fish dishes get turned into veggie dishes instead.
Another FYI, you might want to get SLIGHTLY bigger plates than the little plates.. I think that people feel self concious about going up and getting more, even though they are encouraged too, so people will feel hungry.
Just another suggestion!
I went to a wedding like and one of the stations was sliced sandwich meats and toatsed breads so you could make up a sandwich. The appetizers were things like toasted raviolis and 'heavy' kind of food, plus there were salads, fruits, etc.
I think it depends on how heavy the hors deouvres are. Personally, I HAVE to eat a meal between 5 and 8 pm or I will be tired and grouchy. If the hors douvres are enough to fill my belly, i'd be happy, but if not, i'd leave early to get some fast food...you don't want to be remembered as the wedding where everyone went to mcdonalds.
We were going heavy hors deouvres until I found it was cheaper to do a seated dinner than it is to do hor deouvres or a buffet. Our caterer said it's because they have to make a surplus since there is no control of what people eat. With seated, they get their plate and that's it.
I'm not a bride, but I have 4 children in their 20's, and I've been to about 100 weddings in the past 5 years, almost all of them in SC or NC. The weddings have ranged from 30 people to over 200 people, and I'm sure the budgets ranged from less than $5000 to more than $60,000! In the Carolinas, most weddings seem to be between 5 and 6 PM, and all of the receptions I've been to featured heavy hors d'oeuvres instead of meals. The only time I've ever had meals with wedding receptions, the weddings weren't in the Carolinas....until I went to a wedding in NJ a few years ago, I didn't realize people actually had sit down meals at their wedding receptions!
I've had a lot more fun and never been hungry at the receptions with hors d'oeuvres!! The receptions seem to be more relaxed (despite some of the very formal weddings), and there's more socializing and mingling when guests can move around and don't have to sit at a certain table or eat at a certain time. To make my long post short: having hors d'oeuvres at the reception is a Southern tradition - go for it, girl, and your guests will have a great time and won't go away hungry, I promise!
@lizardtoo-that is EXACTLY what I needed to hear! thanks for your encouragement :)
Trust me ladies...as a huge eater myself...I will make sure that we have a lot of food!
Here is a sample meny of one of the catering companies we are looking at:
http://www.hambycatering.com/catering-services-charleston-sc.php
I would compare caterers and prices. You may be able to have a nice dinner buffet for what it would cost to pass hors or apps.
Hi Ms. Teddy- If your not settled on a caterer yet you should check Beyond Expectations. They were significantly cheaper than a lot of places I looked into that offered the exact same thing!!
That sample looks AWESOME! Sounds just like the heavy app reception I went to a few years ago. Sounds delish =]
I think you'll be fine -- that menu has plenty of filling food on it and people should be able to make themselves a meal out of it. I've had seated dinners with less food than that (like when the vegetarian option is just rice and steamed veggies...oops).
We elected to do a buffet for our reception because the caterer told us they can move people through dinner faster, which will give us more time for dancing and other fun stuff. It's also cheaper, but I was hesitant to go for it at first because I was afraid it would take fooorever.
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