(Closed) Is a honeymoon registry rude to have?

posted 5 years ago in Honeymoons
  • poll: Is a honeymoon registry rude?
    Yes : (131 votes)
    34 %
    No : (249 votes)
    66 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    691 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Not really. It’s better than having a “collection fund” at the reception or registering for stuff like an ipod.

    Post # 4
    Member
    948 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    Some will tell you it is but I wouldn’t be offended by it. I would probably give you cash over contributing to the HM fund.

    Post # 5
    Member
    951 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Depends on your region, I think. Some places are more acceptable than others.

    In Canada I see it becoming more and more common. My roommate has been to two weddings in the last year that had one.

    Common law relationships are very popular and in the case of myself and many people in our circle of friends friends we don’t need stuff for our houses. We’ve got everything.

    In fact, we don’t really wants gifts but we put up a honeymoon registry for those who insist on buying gifts because supposedly it’s better to be registered for something than nothing. I think that people like the idea of giving a cash gift knowing exactly what it’s being spent on. Of course make sure to put a wide variety of items on with many different price ranges.

    If you’d like to see my honeymoon registry as an example, send me a PM!

    Post # 6
    Member
    9061 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Doesn’t bother me, any. But then again I’m also a fan of just straight up asking for money. Screw etiquette and tabooisms.

    Post # 7
    Member
    19 posts
    Newbee

    I’ve gone both ways so it depends on the situation.

    A time it was ok:  This couple was going to a Sandals resort and set up a registry through them, you could buy all these fun things for them to do, dinner on the beach, horseback riding, jet skiing. My FI and I paid for them to have a wine cruise on the boat. When they put the pictures from the HM up on facebook, they tagged us in the pictures on the boat thanking us! I thought it was cute and fun.

    A time it wasn’t ok:  This couple had no other registry other than the HM registry and when you went to the website, there were no fun things to buy, just a place for you to put an amount and your CC info. So not fun. I felt that it was rude, like “just give us money!”

    Just my 2 cents 

    Post # 8
    Member
    3420 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    I think its good if thats the ONLY place you register.

    Post # 9
    Member
    1347 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    I think it’s tacky. Not as tacky as having a jar at a wedding, but still tacky. Also, all those “extras” like the champagne and the massage that people are paying for? The web site AND the honeymoon venue get a cut of the price, so really it’s more expensive. Bascially, instead of it costing $50, it’ll cost $100 to pay for it off the website to do the same thing.

     

    Post # 10
    Member
    2457 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    This always depends on your guests. If you know your guests well, you should have a good idea about how they would respond to this sort of thing. Our guests were mostly good friends (rather than a ton of family) so we knew it wouldn’t be a big deal, and that they’d all prefer to do the whole money thing rather than gift thing anyway.

    We used honeyfund.com, and it worked great!

    Post # 11
    Member
    10714 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2012

    We had one. A lot of people liked contributing to it too. We had an even mix of people who printed the paper out and gave us the cash in person and half who did the online account thing for the registry because they would rather not have to deal with cash and they were happy to have that option. No one complained or said anything rude, if anyone didn’t want to give us something they weren’t being forced. We got a few gifts too but we didn’t have an actual registry besides the honeymoon one.

    Basically I think they are absolutely NO DIFFERENT than a registry asking for things for your home… they are all just suggestions and asking for gifts in one form or another.

     

    Oh and we also used Honeyfund they don’t keep any of the money themselves, the contributers can opt to send the money to you in the mail, your paypal, or print out a certificate and give you the cash in person. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    776 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Yeaaah sorry, I’m in the tacky boat. It’s all how it’s positioned – I HATE feeling like I was only invited so I can be treated like a walking ATM. I suppose a good rule might be to know your audience and be prepared for naysayers 🙂

    Post # 13
    Member
    2295 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    It doesn’t bother me, but it definitely causes raised eyebrows in my social circle. I know a lot of people that don’t like them.

    I also think they are kind of dumb because a percent of your money gets taken. With folks I know, if you have a very small registry or no registry at all, they know to give you cash, it’s unspoken. I’d rather have it in cash with no fees than on a honeymoon registry.

    Plus, I’ve known at least one person who had a honeymoon registry but then didn’t take the honeymoon (they couldn’t book it without the money from the registry and then didn’t get that much). That was sort of tacky in my opinion for people who thought they were contributing to a honeymoon. It is just a couched way of asking for cash.

    A lot of those registries also allow you to put non-honeymoon stuff on there (thinking of Honeyfund) – someone I know put a downpayment on a home ($30k – no joke, broken into $100 increments) and a new puppy. Seriously?! As someone else said, it’s to some degree about how you position it and both of the ones I mentioned did it very poorly.

    Post # 14
    Member
    3150 posts
    Sugar bee

    I’m of the “I don’t care what you do” mindset. I think it is more acceptable of the younger-ish generation. I think that when my children get married one day – maybe in 30-35 years – it will be the norm. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    2295 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    @HappilyEverAfter54:  Honeyfund does charge if you get the money by Paypal.

    Post # 16
    Member
    10714 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2012

    @NAvery:  They tell people before they send their money though right? They can just back out and send a check if they didn’t want that extra fee. I didn’t know that though lol I just set up the free option thing and never came back to the site after that. lol

    The topic ‘Is a honeymoon registry rude to have?’ is closed to new replies.

    Find Amazing Vendors