(Closed) Is a No Host Brunch OK?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Is a No-Host Brunch OK? What about the wording?
    Yes, it's fine. : (20 votes)
    35 %
    No, it's unacceptable. : (12 votes)
    21 %
    That wording let's me know what to expect. : (4 votes)
    7 %
    The wording should be different, I'll explain below. : (21 votes)
    37 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2775 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    With that wording, I would assume a hosted event.  If you aren’t hosting, I would just let it spread by word of mouth that you and your husband will be having brunch at X time at X restaurant and would love to visit with anybody who wants to stop by.

    Post # 4
    Member
    159 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @Zusie:  I agree with Sailor. I’d let it spread by WOM but possibly also include it on your wedding website (if you have one). Sally and John will be having their first brunch together as newlyweds! All guests are welcome to stop by and visit with the couple” or something along those lines. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    11354 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2009

    I think any mention of a post-wedding brunch and your extension of an invitation for others to join you — whether by word of mouth, on your website, or in the invitation itself — is definitely going to leave others with the impression that someone is treating them to the brunch. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    12831 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Agreed with PPs – it sounds like you’ll be hosting them.  I’m not sure if there’s a polite way to say you won’t be paying for them.

    Is your house large enough that you could get a bunch of bagels and stuff from CostCo and have a drop-in sort of thing?

    Post # 7
    Member
    1211 posts
    Bumble bee

    I just attended a wedding where we went to brunch with the couple and paid our own way. At the rehearsal dinner/wedding, it was just spread by word of mouth. I believe what the bride told us was “We have a room reserved at Restaurant ABC. Groom and I will be having breakfast at 1030, stop by and say hi or feel free to join us before you head out of town”.

    To me, that was very clear it was an “unhosted” event and we were on our own for payment. Not sure how others would interpret that though?

    Post # 8
    Member
    11354 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2009

    @abbie017:  “I’m not sure if there’s a polite way to say you won’t be paying for them.”

    I agree.  I was trying to find a way to include this thought in my comment, but I was struggling with how to say it. You expressed it very well.

    I also like your suggestion to the OP.

    Post # 9
    Member
    989 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I agree, WOM is the way to go.  We sent invitations for our brunch, but we’re paying.

    Post # 11
    Member
    1629 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I liked the wording you had and got the gist that it wasn’t an extension of your wedding, but rather a casual get together.

    Post # 12
    Member
    9955 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    The rule of thumb (Etiquette wise) is when things are Informal and not Hosted, info is passed by word of mouth (or perhaps the telephone).  As soon as you put it on paper… be that an Invite, Note, Email etc.. then it is expected to be more Formal / Hosted.

    The example / wording that LindyLu:  used is a good one for this situation… and as stated if you have a Wedding Website (invaluable IMO) this is one of those “some what otherwise awkward” items that can be handled on there as well.

    Hope this helps,

     

    Post # 13
    Member
    1442 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2014 - Paradise Gardens

    @sailor:  I second your suggestion… you NAILED IT !

    Post # 14
    Member
    5988 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I think the idea is fine, but the wording needs work.  I’d suggest something like this:

    You are welcome to join the newlyweds for a No Host brunch at Brunchies Dinner at 11:00 am on Sunday morning following the wedding.

    Please call 555.2034 to let us know if you’ll join us so that we can make appropriate reservations.

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