Is a ring necessary to 'Pop the Question'?

posted 3 years ago in Proposals
  • poll: Is having a ring at the moment of the proposal an absolute requirement?
    YES : (21 votes)
    29 %
    NO : (51 votes)
    71 %
  • Post # 3
    1716 posts
    Bumble bee

    No, it’s not just you, and that kind of proposal — ringless — has been done before many, many times. 

    If you feel this way, maybe you should tell him. 

    Post # 4
    4513 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    For me, I didn’t need a ring. I think a lot of people feel that the ring makes it more official though. I think if you’re okay with it then who cares? You can always get some type of inexpensive band as a place holder in the mean time.

    Post # 5
    10219 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Absolutely not…

    A Proposal to becoming Engaged / Betrothed only requires ONE THING… A Question must be asked (or in the least a Statement Made) and the other person needs to agree.  That is it, that is all.

    In-fact I’ve known Engagements where no words were spoken at all… just a ring presented.

    I myself have had 2 what I affectionately call Non-Proposals.

    Where there was no Hollywood version (for the record, the Hollywood Versions are more rare / fewer than most folks actually admit / know)

    More often than not a couple has just done a lot of talking about the future, and marriage, and then the progression to Engagement “just happens”

    Mr TTR proposed without a ring.

    We were on vacation in Myrtle Beach… saw another couple having Wedding Photos taken after an obvious Elopement for a Destination Wedding

    Mr TTR said “That looks like fun, we should do that that” 

    I said “Really ?”

    And he said… “Ya look into it so we can do it the next time we are here”

    (Knowing full well that we’d be back at Christmas)

    So the next day we went ring shopping, together… which was awesome !!

    The words may have come as a surprise, but marriage is something we had talked about, so it wasn’t totally out of the blue.

    There are many Bees on WBee with similar stories…

    Men who proposed without a ring either because they couldn’t afford one yet (the dream ring) with a stand-in, or a plan for the couple to shop together for the perfect ERing.

    There is no ONE WAY to get Engaged

    All that is needed is two people in love, a common goal to spend the future together, and someone to pose the Question.

    A ring is secondary / optional.

    Hope this helps,


    Post # 6
    1787 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I was engaged for months before we got my ring.  I don’t think it’s a big deal.

    Post # 7
    155 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: December 2008

    He proposed when the time felt right. I got my ring 6 months later. It was no big deal & not many people even asked. You should tell him how you feel if the proposal is more important than a ring right now.

    Post # 8
    1148 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I was proposed to with a ring, but would have been okay if I hadn’t.

    A co-worker got engaged before picking out a ring, becuase he wanted his fiance to have a say as well, and that way they’d have time to search for one she really liked.

    Post # 9
    1102 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    I totally agree with you you don’t need the metal around the ring finger to be serious and taking the next step…


    my SO got me a ring and said this was just till the one with his grandmothers diamonds are done (his mom offered them witch made me feel so speical) I was like what 2 rings why (he is old fashion and think u need the ring to propose and he felt the time  was right and thought the ring was not done wanted to do it right then so he got me a ring) 


    the only thing i think the ring is really good for is it makes people take you more seriously … like i have an aunt who looks down her nose at everything it def makes her have to take me seriously 

    that being said he might just want to propose in a way he day dreamed of too you know guys spend alot fo time thinking that stuff up 

    Post # 10
    4698 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    It is not an absolute requirement, it is down to the couple in question and what they specifically want. One formula does not fit all. I personally would prefer a ring at my proposal, even if it had just been a stand-in or something, but I wouldn’t have said no without one, certainly. I would want one later however.

    The big “proposal moment” is a cultural thing. I live in Korea presently and women are amazed (and sometimes a little jealous at the romance) when I tell them I was actually proposed to – here the more common way is just to talk about the future and decide to get married. Usually the engagements only last a couple months. So really you don’t even need *that.* Just the decision to get married!

    Post # 11
    177 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: December 2015

    @ComputerLove06:  I said no – I don’t think a ring is necessary at all. It’s a symbol, but it’s the words that hold the meaning.

    Having said that, it’s my preference that my SO would have a ‘stand in’ ring (something perhaps even only $20!) until we could get a ring we both loved and had had chance to save up for.

    Post # 12
    577 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    @ComputerLove06:  You’re looking at venues, you have a wedding date set, you’ve worked on invitations… you’re engaged! Congratulations! You are obviously planning your wedding together and there’s nothing phony about that. I know people who’ve gotten engaged without a ring OR a proposal, so there’s no hard rule that the man must “pop the question” in order to be engaged. Clearly you’ve already discussed the answer even though he hasn’t formally asked the question.

    I know how you feel about wanting to have the formal proposal (and maybe ring) before calling him your fiance, and I generally agree. I was in the same boat, when my hubby and I set a wedding date months before he proposed (but I didn’t do any actual planning before being formally engaged). However I think that once you’ve started real wedding planning, as you’ve done, you should call yourselves engaged even if you are still waiting for a proposal and ring. It’s kind of like getting legally married before you have the wedding ceremony– it’s real but you’re just waiting for the “ceremonial” aspect.

    Post # 13
    480 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    We didn’t have a ring for a while, he proposed with a ring he always wears which was far roo bigfor me so I wore it round my neck. We then got a cheap £20 ring that I had for several months before we got the real one.

    I liked having a ring but I would have been happyto still just have the cheep one if we couldn’t afford the real one yet. Strangely having the real ring wasmoreimportant to him than me.

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