Post # 1
Initially I had started out with a budget of 12k, now I am up to 15k. I have not been managing my budget really well. It is not that we don’t have the money to pay for it. It is more like I see these large payments going out, and I feel kind of guilty. I question what else I could use that money for…..a house perhaps? Or a new car?
I am have just about paid everything off, and I feel great about that. But again I look at the cost of a wedding, and I can’t help but feel like it is an excessive spending splurge!
How did you deal with the actual cost of a wedding?? Did you go into debt? Did you finance yourself in to oblivian?? I have so far paid for everything in cash, so I have no debt, but I still feel kind of guilty……
Post # 3
- Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall
@thumpurr: Personally I didn’t think it was worth it, we spent the same amount as you are on track to. I had wanted something smaller, but DH wanted to invite EVERYONE, so that’s what we did but then only about 50% of his friends showed up and after all was said and done he agreed that something smaller would have been better. But the money was spent by then!
We did not go into debt we just saved a lot and had some help from our parents. That makes it less regretable because I’m not still paying it off but still, as you say, I could have had a new car!!!
Post # 4
I think it depends on your priorities..
For us.. we looked at it that this will be the only wedding we’ll have, so we should make the most of it. But that doesn’t mean going into debt.
We are paying as we go, so to say… and we won’t owe anything when all is said and done.
So to us, the money is worth it, mainly because we are decently young [23 and 25] and we have our entire lives to make more money.. we won’t have our entire lives to have a wedding.. just 1.. and maybe some big anniversary parties.
Post # 5
@thumpurr: If you are paying for the wedding that you want, then yes, it’s worth it. If you are paying for something that you don’t want, either you’re settling or just doing what someone else wants, it probably won’t be worth it. If you go in to debt – not worth it.
We did not go into debt. When we got engaged we had savings set aside, so we knew what our budget was. However, we decided that it wouldn’t hurt to save up as much as possible for the wedding as well so that we can try to have some money leftover in the end. Well, we barely touched our savings because we managed to do a really great job saving. I hated it, trying to keep grocery bills low, not eating out ever, etc. But in the end it was so worth it.
It was a lot of money. But I don’t regret spending a cent of it because it was the wedding of my dreams.
Post # 6
@mchitt329: I think I’m going to have the same thing happen to me. I wanted something smaller (this is my second time, so I know what is about to happen). It’s his first so we talked about it and agreed to do a traditional wedding. FI’s guest list issue has been a nightmare. Now that we are at a “reasonable” 150 I can breathe. I love it that he has a lot of friends, but I’m scared he might be dissapointed when some of his “must have’s” decline. Did your DH have that issue after the 50% decline?
The wedding isn’t worth it to me, but it is worth it to have it for him. If that makes any sense.
Post # 7
@thumpurr: I think whether or not it’s “worth it” is relative. My husband and I spent about 20%-25% of our savings (not including emergency/retirement) on our wedding, so it was very worth it to us. If someone spent 90%+ of their savings, or went into debt, the wedding may not seem as “worth it,” especially if they’re still paying for the wedding after it’s over.
Post # 8
I don’t think it’s worth it, but for me, still something I HAD to do. I knew if I didn’t, I’d probably regret and wonder what my wedding would have been like. It ended up costing around 22k, but we had already bought our house and were still able to buy 2 new cars in cash within a year after the wedding so we didn’t feel too guilty about spending on a wedding. If the wedding had caused us to be more straped for cash and unable to do other things, we probably would have scaled back and felt it definitely wasn’t worth it even more.
Post # 9
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
We spent about the same amount as you, and I would say in retorspect that yes, it was definitely worth it. We had three days of events with all of our most important people in the world, and it was just so joyful and lovely. Those will be some of my happiest memories for my whole lifetime. The community aspect of a wedding, provided you actually like your families and there’s little to no drama, is practically invaluable.
I can definitely relate though. When we figured out the budget, we were both horrified – thinking of everything else that could buy, of what it would grow to be if we set it in our retirement account for 30 years, etc. But at some point you have to just decide that’s what you’re doing, it’ll be really special and fun, and there’s no point in regretting it.
ETA: I like how pinkshoes put it – it wasn’t necessarily “worth it”, cause that’s a fuck-ton of money, but I wouldn’t have done anything differently.
Post # 10
For us? Worth every penny! And we spent around what you’re going to be spending. We are generally fairly frugal people, so we were able to be fairly objective about weddings costs. We almost always chose the cheaper version of things. We didn’t have a lot of splurges (I guess I would say our guest list was our splurge as it was important that we be able to invite everyone that we wanted to invite). We kept our priorities in mind.
We certainly didn’t go into debt. We could have afforded to spend more, but we didn’t need to. We knew what we wanted out of our wedding and knew what our priorities were. And we just tried to focus on that and not get caught up in all the little superficial upgrades.
Yes, it’s a lot of money. But it’s something that was important to us. And we could afford it. What’s the point of money if you don’t spend it on things that are important to you? So while I cringed at paying some of the big vendors, I knew it was worth it, for us.
Post # 11
I haven’t had my wedding yet, but I think I would completely regret spending $15,000 which is why I have decided that I can’t spend more than $5,000 on a wedding, and hopefully I will be able to spend a lot less than that. At the end of the day, no matter how happy and great it was, your wedding is just one day. For me, personally, I just think that it’s ridiculous to be happy about inviting 100+ people to a wedding and saying that you are so happy that you were able to share it with all of those people. That’s just me though. I don’t mind when people spend a bunch of money on huge weddings, but I never could myself.
Post # 12
- Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall
@partyplanner83: Yeah, he was disappointed with how many friends declined. But we had our wedding after Christmas, so many couldn’t travel/take time off work again and a few were ready to pop-pregnant so they couldn’t travel away from their dr., one is a dr. in med school and couldn’t get out of something, they all had good reasons and his friends are far flung across the U.S. Looking back on our wedding there are several people we could have done without.
Post # 13
It was worth it for me. My wedding is something I’ll always look back on and love without any regrets. I won’t have the same car, house, appliances forever but I’ll only have the one wedding. I’m glad I spent the money that I did, it was within our means and worth every cent. At the time it was a little more difficult to grasp that but now years later it’s crystal clear that it was the best decision.
Post # 14
@thumpurr: We didn’t go into debt. that is a big thing and the first thing we spoke about. We agreed (as should everyone), to not spend money they don’t have for just one day. THankfully, my mother paid for the hall which was a big chunk paid off by her. Between the both of us we spent $17K (this includes my dress, his tux, shoes, accessories, flowers, DJ, honeymoon, invites, STD, photography). Including the price of the venue, all together it was $44K. Was is worth it to us? Yes, we would do it all over again,we had so much fun planning it and the day was absolutely amazing. Its a wedding 10 years in the making. Not only was it anticipated by us, but by our friends and family.
Post # 15
If we were paying for it, we’d just elope to the beach. I really had no idea that people paid for their own weddings! It’s crazy to me. Our budget is around $20K that my parents are paying for, with FI’s parents paying for the rehearsal. We’re spending about $4.5K on the honeymoon and I’m starting to wonder if it’s worth it. We already have a house and a good savings so I know we can spend it just feels like a lot!
Post # 16
- Wedding: September 2014 - Waldorf Astoria, Chicago
I think it’s totally worth the money. I know I will remember the day forever, and I don’t want to skimp on things b/c I’m worried about money. We planned on spending $50K, but are looking to spend closer to $70K all said and done. I dont regret spending the $$ either. We talked about getting married for 3 years before we got engaged and we both had money auto deducted from our paychecks into a savings account that had about $30K by the time we got engaged, we won’t go into debt for the wedding b/c we have the cash on hand to pay for everything, but I suppose if I was not as financially stable maybe I’d have a different answer. I think you should have the wedding you want with in your means, for some that will be a smaller wedding and for others larger, I don’t like the idea of cutting corners…just my opinion!!