Post # 1
We just got engaged last week and people are already asking about an engagement party! The problem is, we don’t know how big the wedding will be, so it’s likely that many of our friends here (in Chicago) might not make the list for the wedding. We also live far from family and the entire bridal party, so should we throw one ourselves? If we do, we’re thinking super casual, like a backyard BBQ so our friends don’t feel compelled to bring gifts and won’t feel bad if they don’t get a wedding invite. Let me know what you think!
Post # 3
They really aren’t necessary but I do think that anyone invited to an engagement party should be invited to the wedding so if you don’t think a lot of your friends who live near you in Chicago will be invited to your wedding, then don’t throw an engagement party including them.
Post # 4
I’m happily married and didn’t have an engagement party, shower, bachelor/bachelorette, and whatever other party that seem to be the norm. I don’t regret not having them either, they’re just more things to worry about and potentially create drama.
Post # 5
No engagement party here. I figure people are generous enough with the showers, bachelor/bachelorette AND the wedding, another party is a lot to ask. We had a small engagement dinner with our immediate family, but we footed the bill.
Post # 6
We never had an engagement party or dinner, and I don’t feel like we missed out.
Post # 7
There totally not necessary at all and I think in your situation considering you don’t really know how many people you’ll be inviting it would be a bad idea to have one because you really can’t invite anyone to an engagement party that you’re not inviting to your wedding. People will bring gifts. We had ours and got a ton of gifts and there was no registry info given out or anything like that. Everyone just asked my mom and even though she said no gifts necessary they all insisted.
Post # 8
They can be fun, but absolutely not necessary, so I would wait until you are near where people that you know will be invited to the wedding will be. People you invite will expect invitations.
Post # 9
I voted “yes its a time to celebrate but keep it casual” but I think you should only do it if YOU want to have a party. Don’t do it because people are asking you when it will be. Do it if you want to celebrate and just can’t keep all that excitement in. We didn’t technically have an “engagement party” so to speak but we did invite all of our friends over for a backyard party where we dropped the bomb that we were getting married. It was fun for everyone to share that happy vibe we had going but because we didn’t tell anyone until they were already there, no one felt like they needed to give us anything except a “congrats!” and I think they all knew that they weren’t all going to be invited to the wedding.
Post # 10
Engagement parties aren’t necessary and generally people don’t bring gifts to them anyway… Maybe that’s just in my area though?
Post # 11
Thanks for all the great advice, I’m definitely going to talk it over with my FH. Kind of leaning towards not having one and surprising BBQ guests with a cake after dinner.
Post # 12
We didnt have an engagement party and really dont plan on having one unless we are going to do a destination wedding. we thought we would tell people that way. if not then no i dont want people to feel like they have to bring a present to the party and i dont wanna spend a lot on one if i could use that money for the wedding.
Post # 13
We wanted to celebrate, so we just told all of our friends and family that live nearby that we were going out for dinner/drinks at a local bar and that we would love for people to come out and celebrate with us. It was really casual and fun. One person did bring a gift, but we mostly just got cards (or rounds of shots, haha). We didn’t want a traditional “engagement party” because I didn’t want anyone to feel like they had to throw us a party and I didn’t want people to feel like they should bring gifts.
Post # 14
We didn’t have one. Our friends wanted to throw one, but I just don’t see the point!
Post # 15
If your family and friends can’t be there- then its notreally an engagement party. You want the people closest to you there FOR SURE.
Post # 16
We didn’t have one and didn’t mind at all. Depends on what you like, some people consider it a “must” and I don’t see why. We shared the news with everyone and didn’t worry about who will and will not be invited to the wedding until right now, two+ months before the wedding for food & invitations count. I personally also consider it an extra expense! So if you do feel like having one I think the backyard bbq idea sounds excellent because it’s casual.
But, if you are worried about people feeling offended because they were invited to the EP but not the wedding I’d skip the EP party all together. You will experience some stress planning the bigger party, the actual wedding so this is the time to enjoy that you’re newly engaged and simply share the news. Just my $.02! 🙂