(Closed) Is an open bar dangerous/offensive??

posted 6 years ago in Food
Post # 3
Member
5075 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

top shelf open bar.

My guests are adults – I don’t need to police them.  

Post # 4
Member
5428 posts
Bee Keeper

No alcohol whatsover. My family tends to make a fool of themselves (girls dancing on the tables, guys falling over and laughing until they pee in their suits) at all the family  reunions and weddings because they are basically alcoholics and the behavior is accepted and tolerated among the family. So, a big no-no! I ain’t having none of those shenanigans on my special day! LOL

Post # 5
Member
1361 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Open bars are extremely common at weddings amongst my family and friends, so take my opinion with a grain of salt.  But absolutely you should have an open bar. It’s not offensive (honestly, I find cash bars a bit offensive) and it’s not dangerous (adults need to be responsible for their own behavior).

 ETA: We are having an open bar for the entire reception.  Some of our guests are recovering alcoholics, and some are big drinkers, but I am choosing to treat them all as adults.

Post # 6
Member
2065 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Do what you want. It sounds harsh, but really you don’t have to cater to every single person’s personal demons. Either they’ll drink or they won’t. Our venue was the same – alcohol stopped being served an hour before the end of the reception, so there wasn’t really enough time for people to get completely wasted.

Post # 7
Member
5423 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2012

It may be offesnive to individulas but absoluitely not as a collective.  You cant please everyone.  Your family are adults.  Do not baby them.

Post # 8
Member
6745 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’ve never been to a wedding that WASN’T open bar.  Honestly, I understand it might be hard for your family in AA, but you can’t shield them from everything.  There will be other weddings they go to with open bars where they have NO SAY, I’m sure.  It’s not like it’s so uncomfortable that they can’t come to your wedding, right?  I don’t think you need to explain anything to anyone – if you picked to have an open bar and that’s what you want, then do it.  If you don’t want an open bar, then change it.  Do what you want – and if your dad is a gossip (like mine is, so I TOTALLY get where you’re coming from) consider perhaps not telling him all the details, if you can? 

Post # 9
Member
11234 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

@misspeanut:  This. The people who really want to drink (meaning alcoholics and the like) will drink whether it’s an open bar or cash bar. And open bar is neither dangerous nor offensive.

Post # 10
Member
1284 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I think that’s kind of ridiculous. It shouldn’t be offensive to anyone… it’s generous of you to provide an open bar.

I understand your aunt’s situation but she, and all others in the same predicament, should just accept that it is up to them to monitor themselves and not expect you to alter your wedding plans accordingly.

Post # 11
Member
5479 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

We are having an open bar.  Honestly, if someone is going to get shitfaced at your wedding, they’ll do it whether or not the booze is free.  People go to bars all the time & spend money on drinks and get hammered.  Cutting people off at two drinks isn’t going to stop someone from getting drunk if they intend to in the first place.

As for people in AA, they will probably stick together & be supportive of each other.  That is kinda what the program is about, right?

Post # 12
Member
7904 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

Some people will be offended if there isn’t an open bar and it’s pretty rude to assume your adult guests cannot handle themselves around an open bar. There will be a bartender after all who should (and is required by law to) cut off people who get visibly drunk.

My dad and brother are both recovered alcoholics and half of DH’s family doesn’t drink for religious reasons. No one was offended we had an open bar.

Post # 13
Member
790 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

An open bar is not offensive or dangerous! Some people choose to restrict access to alcohol if they are close to certain guests who might be alcoholics or object to drinking for religious reasons or what have you. But that’s completely a personal choice. I would imagine that almost all weddings, particularly larger ones, have at least one guest who has a problem with alcohol. When you get that many people together it’s almost inevitable. Yet many, many weddings feature open bars. And personally I don’t drink less at cash bars. If I want a drink I’m going to have one, whether I have to pay for it or not. 

 

Post # 14
Member
4275 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I can not really answer this as everyone’s experiences are different, but I will share my experience from my wedding. We had an open bar. Just to point out first though…I already knew that my crowd tends to get out of control. (I would say happyface and I are on the same boat). I knew that it would not bother me and was more then prepared for it. I wanted to give them a party and I would say I pretty much delivered.

1. People went into the pool. My mother’s bf was pushed in with his camera and cell phone in his pockets (he wasn’t happy!)

2. People got nude in the photobooth and a few did not want to get out of it

3. My sister stepped in puke. One of the groomsmen later stumbled upon her undressing in the bridal suite. She is 16.

4. There was a small fight, but nothing too serious. It just ended up in one guest leaving early.

5. My BIL wore a photobooth prop throughout the night, I think he might of brought it home with him actually.

6. Our uncle was stumbling around in the middle of the street by himself.

7. I have no idea where the garter I tossed went. My BIL caught it but dosn’t have it.

8. A family friend kept falling on the dance floor (I think I counted 10 times), she eventually ran up to me and continued to hug me and tell me how much she loved me.

The list goes on…..

Post # 15
Member
1766 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Can you explain the “dangerous” part a bit more?  Dangerous for whom, the drinking guests or the AA guests?  I think adults should be able to not drink themselves into a coma at a wedding, and the bar staff will cut off anyone who had one too many. And if an AA member thinks they can’t handle the temptation, then they need to leave. Temptation is a constant part of life for a recovering addict, and dealing with it is part of the rehab process.

We had an open bar and nothing bad happened. But we also didn’t have any alcoholics at the wedding that I know of.

Post # 16
Member
532 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@futuremrsk18:  I went to a wedding once that had no alcohol and it was by far the least fun wedding I’ve ever been to, no one really danced, except the smart people who brought flasks, not me 🙁  

I think you need to stop listening to others input as much (sis and dad) and do what you and your FI want.

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