(Closed) is anyone considering…

posted 5 years ago in Parenting
  • poll: ideal family
    Children aren't for us :) : (20 votes)
    14 %
    An only child for us : (19 votes)
    13 %
    Hoping for one of each sex, but either way two forsure : (74 votes)
    51 %
    3 or more, we want a large family : (33 votes)
    23 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    490 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Me and my Fi were just talking about this the other night, We want boys(2), no particular reason why but Ive always wanted just boys if I had kids. But we are waiting a few years and strting really trying in about 3-4 yrs gives us time to enjoy married life just the two of us.  And if we had a girl Im sure my FI would be very protective lol, either way well be happy though with 2

    Post # 4
    Member
    4606 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    FH and I are 22 and 23 and we’ve decided not to have any children. We just aren’t meant to be parents. Neither of us have any sort of parental feelings or urges, we like saving money and having money, the ability to travel and sleep late. We don’t find kids to be cute or just the best things ever. 

    Our ideal family is FH and I plus some dogs and cats. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    4049 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    I was sort of an only child. At least I had the only child experience. My brother is 13 years older than me and moved out when he was 18, so I didn’t have anyone around for most of my childhood. It was lonely. I always longed for someone else to be around and understand what’s it’s like being in our family at my stage of life.

    I suppose that is part of the reason I want more than one. I don’t want my kid to always be wishing for a sibling.

    Post # 6
    Hostess
    3371 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    FI was an only child and he was perfectly happy (he says). I have two older brothers, but I was closest with my oldest brother who is 12 years older than I am. 

    We’re still on the debate, but I want two and he only wants one. We’ll see though. 😉 

    Post # 7
    Hostess
    8580 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2014

    My fi & I have always wanted to adopt. I love kids, he loves kids – and we’d LOVE to have our own kids, however – we cannot justify intentionally bringing more children into a world where so many of them already need, loving, caring homes. I mean, we would not be upset if we had our own that wasn’t planned, we’d love our children [adopted or otherwise], all the same. We have discussed adopting a baby/toddler [up to age 5], and then later doing some foster caring, or adopting an older child [12/13 +, very hard for children who are out of the “younger years” to find respectable homes].

    I would only like to have/adopt as many as we can afford [and by afford I mean nobody in the family going without food, clothing, ectect].

    Post # 9
    Member
    3553 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    I’m not real big on children while FI LOVES them. The agreement it that we will have one and then we will think about it long  and hard before we decide to do it again and I get about a 60% say if we do it again because it’s my body.

    Post # 10
    Member
    9062 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    We haven’t decided on the number of children. 2 would be at most. I’d prefer one of either both genders, but I’ll take whatever I get.

    Post # 12
    Member
    2743 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2014 - Disney

    I’m 31 he’s 42, we’ll be 32 and 42 when we get married. I have a 9 year old daughter from a previous marraige, and went through a high risk pregnancy to have her. I was stamped as not reccomended for future pregnancies with an even higher risk after having her. I have since developed further medical conditions and medications that further complicate conceiving let alone carrying a baby. We considered adoption and surrogate options and decided that the money was beyond what we were willing to spend. Fiance and I have decided though another child would be nice we’re good. Its not fair to put me through the physical, and possible emotional stress to try for a baby that maybe impossible or a risk to me. We are going to invest in my daughter’s education, our dream home, and traveling with her. I would have loved to have given my fiance a child, but he also had a point that he doesnt want to be mid 60’s when his kid graduates college either. My daughter’s father has also provided her with siblings both step and one half, which made this decision a lot easier.

    Editted to add: Fiance and I plan on having furr kids 🙂 We have 2 cats now, and eventually hope to have other animals.

    Post # 13
    Hostess
    8580 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2014

    @AutumnBella:  Foster caring is a tricky thing – 50% of the time, the foster children end up back with their original families – which is heart breaking, and many of the times the children are mentally/physically disabled – I’m not sure I’d be able to handle that, and I’m not going to pretend that I would be able to. Some of the cases are truly sad though.

    Post # 14
    Member
    81 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    We’re not sure which way we want to go with children yet. We both grew up as only children (though he has half siblings) and it can be lonely at times. I wish now that I’m older I had a sibling. I also grew up fairly disconnected with my extended family (we live far away from them) so part of me wants to make our branch a larger one. We’re still considering no children, one child, or two children. We’re not at the absolutely half to decide point but I am 26 and he is 27 and if we decide to have children what age we’re at will play a big part in deciding between one and two. My mother was 38 and my father 40 when I was born, so I feel like we still have a bit of time, but I’d like to not push it too late. They waited so long to have me that they didn’t feel like they could have a second.

    Post # 15
    Member
    7312 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

    DS is, and will remain, an only child. It is the right choice for our family. We are able to devote our time, attention, and resources to caring for him. Besides, you couldn’t pay me enough to go through pregnancy, childbirth, and those first 5 years again. No way, Not this chick.

    Post # 16
    Member
    8042 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2013

    @AutumnBella:  Yeah, I am seriously considering just one kid. I am on the fence about kids in general, and I like a quiet house and to be in control of my life… I remember the merry hell my sister and I raised when we were kids lol.. I think having one kid would mean more peace and quiet. And also more money. And I am not sure my body needs to go thru pregnancy twice!

    I think plenty of only children are perfectly well adjusted. I don’t buy how it’s cruel not to provide a sibling etc. There’s pros and cons of being an only child and pros and cons to having a sibling. 

    Of course since I haven’t had even one kid yet, I could always change my mind and want more. But for now I have told my SO to only expect one kid, and he is ok w. that.

     

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