Post # 1
I’m trying to decide if this is a reflection of me or other people.
So I have my close circle of friends that I see regularly, and we all take turns making plans/calling each other for that.
But I have other friends, some from high school, some from work, that I tend to only see a few times per year. We’re not incredibly tight, but we’re good enough friends that I feel comfortable getting in touch, and saying “Hey, it’s been a while! Let’s grab a drink!”
I just realized..it’s always me doing this. Whenever I do get in touch and suggest meeting up, these people always seem happy and respond like “Yeah it’s been too long!!” or something to that effect. But why don’t they ever bother asking me to go out, or catch up?
It makes me a little paranoid, as if they don’t really care whether or not we’re friends or stay in touch, like they can take me or leave me. Should I take this to mean that I don’t matter enough to them? Or that they’re just not planners?
Anyone else have this issue? Does it bother you?
Post # 3
@AbeeCee123: Yes and yes. I find this with my Maid/Matron of Honor to be honest. She still lives in Auckland, I’m in Melbourne. I’m always the one who initiates the calls. I don’t think I’ve ever received an “out of the blue” type call from her. It can get tiresome and I often start to feel guilty if we’ve lost touch for a while. But then FH reminds me that it goes two ways and she can call me if she wants to! As sad as I am about my nan’s funeral I’m glad I’m going back to NZ for a weekend because I get to catch up with her in person. It’s always easier that way 🙂
Post # 4
@AbeeCee123: I’m used to be in the same boat as you with one set of friends I have. I would always be the one to send out an email or text to get the ball rolling. When I brought it up to them, a few said they never thought of it in terms of them not wanting to hang out with me but that they always figured I’d be the one to organize the meetups because that’s how it’s been since as long as they can remember. Since then, we’ve been pretty good with rotating it. I found once I loosened the reins of being the point person, other people have stepped up. Maybe that would help your situation?
Post # 5
I used to be like this with the girls from school, and I decided to not contact them and wait to see how long it would be.. I’m still waiting, its been nearly 6 months.
Post # 6
I know what you mean!
At this point in our lives, with babies or partners and careers, it really takes efforts to keep friendship strong. I feel I do try to contact friends but nowadays thanks to FB or other form of new social method such as what’s up app, I think a lot of people are finding it easy to get conversation going amongst friends.
Post # 7
yes, and I recently slipped out of the country (thereby changing all my contact info) without making a big fuss; no general announcement, no going-away party. Those who were an active part of my life were aware of all the goings-on and those who weren’t, werent. I didn’t do this specifically to get back at old friends for not keeping in touch with me, but it was an added bonus that I now know EXACTLY who my committed friends are. That core handful of folks who can find it in their busy schedules to email me from time to time or who do not consider it a bother to return my calls, those are the ones I’ll be taking into this next chapter of my life.
Post # 8
I never get in touch with people.
I’m so awful. I think it’s down to a lack of cash and wanting to spend weekends with Fiance (he works long hours during the week).
I’m also terrible at responding to messages that say “hi how are you?” – but send me a message that says “YOUR FACE” and I will definitely reply back because I find it hilarious.
It’s not because I don’t like my friends – I’m just really bad at communicating with people who aren’t right there in my life right that second.
The people I’ve stayed in touch with the most are people who constantly update their facebook because I’m reminded of them all the time.
I’m just bad at keeping friends. Not everyone who doesn’t make the first move doesn’t like you – they are just bad like me.
Post # 9
I think it depends on the people. I am back in school and always forget about people! It’s really not that I don’t care, it’s that I’m sooooo busy! I ignore FB events and ask SO to decide on plans sometimes.
I have family like this though. Retired, not busy family. Grandparents and my aunt have always been this way. We ALWAYS go to their house and are the ones who call them, and if it’s been too long, we get shit for not seeing them, even though they could easily pop by themselves.
I guess you should just try and find out why it is that you don’t hear from them?