Post # 1
…by using their married name early or by referring to your FI as your husband?
I am guilty! Yesterday, I went to a new dentist. There was a place on the paperwork that asked for “Spouse’s name” and without even thinking, I filled in Mr. Neva’s name. After I realized what I’d done, I decided to leave it. He will be my spouse by the next time I see them anyway…and as far as he and I are concerned he already is. We share a home, bank accounts, are beneficiaries on each other’s wills, retirement plans, and insurance, are agent on each others durable and healthcare powers of attorney, etc…. His kids already call me their stepmom and my kids refer to him as their stepdad.
I also have an email address with my first name and his last name. So far, I only use it to email him, but I did change my username on my cell phone online account to myfirsthislast.
Is anyone else guilty of this?
PS I DO have a limit — as much as I want to…I never ever wear my wedding band.
Post # 3
I’ve only referred to him as my husband a few times when talking to strangers. The word “fiance” just takes more effort to say and husband seems to roll off my tongue easier! Since I’m keeping my name, I haven’t had any issues with the use of any new name.
Post # 4
no, i still feel weird saying “husband”! hopefully that will pass in the next year and 5 months! Fiance is fine by me 😀
Post # 5
I don’t really. When other people say husband I don’t correct them though. It’s a lot easier to avoid a bunch of when are you getting married questions.
And I did make a new email, but I haven’t looked at it since.
Post # 6
Yes, I refer to him as my husband all the time. But I’ve not gone as far as to sign anything with myfirst hislast yet. I’m scared it’ll open the floodgates 😉
Post # 7
I’m guilty as well. I also have an email with my to be married name. I don’t use it yet though really. If we see someone from HS and it’s awkward we say we’re married.
I do wear my wedding band though, but it’s a Hungarian tradition to do so. I’ve had a few cashiers look at me strangely and ask if I’m married (I look 15). Sometimes I say yes if they’re rude about it hehehe.
Post # 8
My coworkers have already started calling me by my new last name.. but other than that, I’m saving the word ‘husband’ for when we get hitched 🙂
Post # 9
We’re already legally married (immigration drama) so I let “husband” slip all the time…saying “fiance” takes effort as in my head we’re already a done deal! I can’t wait until September has come and gone so I can say “husband” already 🙂
Post # 10
We own a home together so most people who come over to work on the house (movers, carpet cleaner, gutter installer etc) assume he is my husband and it’s easier to just agree with them!
Also, FI’s name is 5 letters long and my last name is 13 letters long. I really don’t want to change my last name (although I will), but I give out his last name all the time. I probably do it the most for restaurant reservations. It’s SO much easier!
Post # 11
Guilty! Like a week after we got engaged, I grabbed the gmail address I wanted with my new last name.
I usually call him my fiance, unless it is to my advantage to call him my husband. For example, I was at work and got stuck on a tour bus with a bunch of kids and a really creepy older bus driver. He kept hitting on me, so I started talking about my “husband” and that ended pretty quickly, but not entirely. Old men are so gross sometimes!
Post # 12
yeah, i either refer to him as my husband or bf, fiance is a pain in the butt word, when people here it they are like, your what? like they’ve never heard it before
Post # 13
Yeah, restaurant reservations. Always use FI’s name for those.
I agree that the word fiance is awkward sometimes. Especially at my age, I get some odd looks.
Post # 14
Usually those spots say husband/fiance/next of kin so I usually put him on there anyway before I was married. I never used his name before we were married or called him my husband though.
Post # 15
I did this at the other day when I was filling out new doctor paperwork too! It seemed easier that way! When I am at work and the UPS guy comes in though and asks for the last name to sign for packages I always want to use FI’s but get nervous and blurt out mine.
Post # 16
I haven’t yet, but I think once the date gets closer I will start.
@smith207 : Thanks for the great idea!! I just made a new gmail account!