Post # 1
Hello everyone. I just got engaged over the weekend. I feel awful for even saying this, but I was a little disappointed with the way my fiancé proposed. It seems like he didn’t put any thought into how he was going to do it. We had gone away for a long weekend, were sitting in our room watching shark week trying to figure out our plans for the evening, and out of the blue, he popped the question. Don’t get me wrong, I am really excited to be getting married to him and I love the ring. I actually like that we were having a low key moment, but I think he could have at least said a few romantic comments before he proposed. Literally, the conversation went “what do you want to do tonight? I don’t know, what do you want to do? I know, you can marry me”. I actually thought he was messing with me until I saw the ring.
Maybe if for the rest of the evening he would have been a little more loving, it would have been made things different, but he just acted very nonchalant. As if nothing at all big had happened. The next day he perked up and we ended up having a wonderful trip. I know this is a small part of our lives together and what really matters is the future. I just can’t help but feel a little let down by such an important moment.
Anyway, am I the only one who has experienced this? Should I talk to him about it? I feel really selfish for having these feelings.
Post # 3
He was probably terribly nervous and just wanted to get it over with. I wouldn’t talk to him about it, that would just make him feel bad, I can’t imagine anything good actually coming out of that conversation. How long have you two been together? Were you expecting the proposal or was it a surprise? Did you buy the ring together? Those things can make a difference, I think.
By the way, you’re getting married on my birthday! Woo!
Post # 3
I think that is cute how he did it! your always going to remember it!
I felt the same way after my FI proposed but now I just crack up everytime I think of it. We got home at about 11 and he went to let our dog out of crate and so he let her and I was in the kitchen and he yelled from the bedroom “ohhh man the dog must sick she pooped in her crate” (she had been sick a few nights earlier and did have an accident in her crate and I cleaned it up… and it was gross) So I got all mad and marched in and was spouting off how I was not going to clean up the mess this time and he had to do it! Well when I got to the bedroom doorway he was on one knee with my ring and asked me to marry him. Well I was so concerned about the mess and the dog my first response was… did the dog really have an accident in her crate? and he answered no and then I got all excited and said yes!
But really who iniatially want’s to be proposed to with dog poop as lead into it?? Haha now it’s just funny and a great story to tell.
Post # 4
Okay, I admit it. I am difficult to please. I am usually disappointed after Xmas and my birthday. I set my expectations too high.
I was really disappointed in my ex’s proposal and eve suggested we redo it. Dumb. I know. He had planned to propose in Paris. we went to all of these amazing places and nothing. I knew what was up b/c he was acting so damn weird. Anyhow, he finally proposed to me in the hotel room while we were snacking on food we bought at a grocery store.
When I looked back on it, I got over it. I hope that my future FI will be able to surprise me and delight me.
Post # 5
Funny story about the dog poop! He told me he was really nervous so I guess that played a big part.
Lezlers, we’ve been together 3 1/2 years and while we had discussed getting engaged, I had no clue he was going to do it. We looked at rings together, but he got it on his own. He knew I wasn’t picky, so he went to the jewler and asked for the best ring he could get within his budget. I actually really like the ring, I think he did a great job with it.
Post # 6
I really think too many people see these amazing proposals on the reality TV. And as we are starting to find out, not a whole lot on reality TV is real.
His proposal was sweet, the end result is you are engaged, and I would never ever tell him of your disappointment.
Post # 7
I wouldn’t tell him about your dissapointment, the conversation would likely not end well. He sounds like he was just really nervous and was just trying to act like the cool guy afterward, but I am sure that he was pretty darn excited that you said yes.
Post # 8
I think you need to let this go, and definitely don’t talk to him about it. There is CRAZY pressure put on men who are proposing–they’re supposed to make it this huge romantic gesture that their wives will delight in recounting to their friends for the rest of their lives. And all we have to do is stand there and say yes. Not really fair. I’m quite certain he was nervous and had planned to say something romantic, he may even have planned to take you somewhere special, but he was overwhelmed by the enormity of what he was asking and he just didn’t do it. It’s okay. He asked you to marry him! There’s nothing more romantic and wonderful than that! My husband was so nervous before he proposed that he was literally sick the rest of the night. Shaking. He was so wound up and tense before he asked that he made himself sick once his body and mind relaxed. He talks about it now and has no idea why he was so nervous, but he just kept thinking, “What if she says no? What will I do?” Totally ridiculous because he knew there was nothing I wanted more than to spend the rest of my life with him, but I don’t think we can really understand the pressure the person proposing feels. So try to cut your FI a break. Enjoy your engagement!!
Post # 9
You guys are right, I’m just being silly. Thanks for the advice!
Post # 10
My FI wasnt romantic at all either! At first i was a little dissapointed. (I ended finding the ring in a drawer and then he proceeded to propose at like 2am in my pajamas, lol) He said he originally was going to propose while we were on a cruise (which we were going in about a month, but i think he wanted me to find it so he wouldnt have to do it in front of soo many people). I could think of 1000s ways to do it more romantically. But then i think about all the wonderful things he does for me on a regular basis so its not a big deal. As a girl you grow up seeing all the tv shows, movies where the proposal is so thoughout and perfect. When your reality doesnt live up to fantasy it can be disappointing but now its a funny story to tell.
Post # 11
I had a similiar situation. We were going to bed the night before our 4 yr. anniversary, but it was past midnight so it was technically already our anniversary. We were having our pillow talk and falling asleep when he said “Honey, can you turn on the light? I need to get something.” I thought he was going to give me my present but I wasn’t expecting a ring. Curious, I asked a few weeks later how he had figured out he would propose and he said he wanted to surprise me. He accomplished his goal, but I guess I expected more romance or build up or something. It turns out he put quite a bit of thought into it. He even lied to me about where he was going that night so he could go ask my parents for permission before he proposed.
Maybe some guys think that if they do something too romantic before the proposal, she’ll see it coming and it’ll ruin their surprise.
Post # 12
i prefer low key proposals.. i may be in the minority with this but i think when its sincere it doesnt need to be overly thought and planned. just the fact that he is asking you to marry him is a big deal and worth celebrating.. but somehow these days we feel a proposal on its own isnt exciting enough unless its big and dramatic, and exxageratedly romantic
Post # 13
I agree with @bells – I cannot personally relate to being disappointed about a proposal.
I’ll tell the story of my friend – she is extremely difficult to please. EXTREMELY. She sets impossibly high expectations, and she has absolutely unrealistic, elaborate standards. Anyway, she made her fiance propose 3 different times until he “got it right” – the first time, she cut him off because there weren’t “enough people around to see” (it was in a park late at night), the second time she decided she hated the ring, and the third time, he finally “got it right” in a restaurant full of people with the ring she had customized for herself. Later, she told me she would have made him do it a 4th time because she didn’t like the shirt he was wearing…
Post # 14
My FH is a really adorable guy, but when it comes to get getting nerves he get it bad. So we were in front of his house after I visited the cats and he spoke to his mom and dad. So I knew something was up! I kept asking him what was wrong and let me tell you I was a woman on a mission to get it out of him. So he opened the box and said nothing is wrong I just want to marry you. It was nice but i blame myself mostly!
Post # 15
I ALMOST made a thread just like this XD
My FH proposed after dinner at a jazz restaurant when we went to Hilton Head for our anniversary. It was so…plain! And expected! I practically anticipated it! overall I was disappointed in it. I mean, you only get ONE shot and he barely tried to be out of the ordinary or romantic or anything 😛 I guess we women think differently
Either way I love the boy and I’m happy he loves me enough to propose and eventually I got over it. But grrr he could’ve at least said something romantic