Post # 1
After my dad died last year I decided I just wanted a small intimate wedding in the French Riviera. I was never into the whole big wedding thing and opted for a small one with family and very close friends. Guest list would be no more than 50 people.
I was casually chatting with my mom the other day and she mentioned that she would have liked me to have a big wedding here in NYC. That was a huge curveball since I’ve had my mind made up for about a year now. I understand her wanting to have a wedding her so she can share the occasion with her friends, but to be honest if I had my wedding here the guest list would surpass 500 guests! Between my big family, FI big family, and the fact that my mother is very well connected in her community the wedding would just be bigger than anything I would ever want. So we talked it over and I suggested she bring 20 guests to the destination wedding and maybe 6 months later we could hold a reception for everyone else. Like a holiday party/wedding celebration.I started looking into venues because NYC ain’t cheap and managed to find a decent venue for about $50pp. I just need to go visit and do a tasting so I can spread my payments over the course of the year.
Is anyone else having a reception after their DW? What are you planning if you are?
Post # 3
That’s exactly what I’m doing. I’m getting married June 7 in Florida, then having a reception July 9 in Missouri.
It will be a regular wedding reception with dinner and dancing.
Post # 4
That sounds wonderful! I hadn’t really made a final decision on it until I had this conversation with my mom so now we have another thing to plan lol!
Post # 5
My FI and I are having a small, less than 20ppl, destination wedding in St. Thomas, then having a reception here in Atlanta a couple of weeks later for ~120 ppl. It’s like planning two weddings, really.. LoL. I’m not complaining though! He actually wants me to have a different dress for the at home reception, too…. not complaining about that either! :o)
Post # 6
Haha MsFoxxy! That’s how I feel about it as well! I feel as though I’m planning 2 weddings. Both of your events sound like they are going to be wonderful. I was thinking of wearing a short ivory/champagne dress for the reception back home. I haven’t sprung that bit of news to the FI yet. Do you plan on wearing white or different color altogether?
Post # 7
- Wedding: April 2010 - Wyndham Sugar Bay Resort, St. Thomas
We also got married in St. Thomas with 24 people then had a reception back home a month later for about 100 people. Our home reception was more of a cocktail party – we rented out a restaurant and had appetizers, cake and an open bar for 3 hours. And I wore a wedding gown for the wedding and a knee-length white dress for the home party. It was so nice being able to celebrate with everyone that we didn’t bring with us to St. Thomas!
Post # 8
His mom is throwing us a reception in his hometown, since even though it isn’t technically a destination wedding (it’s where i grew up) most of my family and all of his live all the way across the country.
It will be really good to be able to see everyone.
Post # 9
@DutchBride21: I plan on wearing white or ivory at the at home reception. I actually told him that I would let him pick the dress I wear to the reception, since he’s being left out of the selection of my ceremony dress, so we’ll see what he comes up with.. LoL! A short champagne dress sounds really pretty though! I’m sure you’ll be able to find something gorgeous that both you and your FI will love.
Post # 10
i wasn’t planning to do an AHR at all because when i first started planning my DW, i thought for sure all the “important” people were attending in Jamaica. they all told me they were anyway. meaning family and extremely close friends. i was okay never having a wedding for the other 100 people i would have invited if it was in my hometown. however, now my FIs sister and kids can’t come and two of my best friends of all time cannot come. which has brought my wedding down from about 20 something people to 17 (including me and FI)…..so since all this happend, i started thinking seriously about an AHR. i can’t really afford a real reception (hence the DW), but i am thinking a backyard BBQ kind of thing. i would still make my own invitaitons and give it a formal feel through them. i would certainly not wear my wedding dress, but either the dress i am using for my TTD (which is long, but one layer and more like an evening dress and its ivory), OR what i will most likely wear is a white summer dress, cocktail length. since two of my BMs can no longer come to Jamaica but already bought their BM dresses, they would wear them as well just for fun! I would ask my other BMs if they want to wear their dresses again, but if not, thats cool….And i would definitely set up some kind of slide show of our pro pics for everyone to see. AND since i know someone who makes wedding cakes on the side and i can’t get my dream wedding cake at the resort where my wedding is, i would get a wedding cake from her and serve it. the rest would be music, fun and BBQ food!
i keep saying I “would” do all these things because i wont know for another month or so where FI will be next year in terms of a job/post doc. and if we are too far away from our hometown, we probably cant do the AHR this summer like i want. so i am keeping my fingers crossed that it works out. i would do it in August as it would give us time to plan and be close to our dating anniversary just for fun.
here is the cake i want for the AHR!:
Post # 11
@DutchBride21: I understand about the FMIL wanting to have a big party! Our wedding isn’t exactly destination – it’s in my hometown and for 150 people. But his parents are going to throw a reception where we live now (his hometown) and it will be bigger (more like 250 than 500 though!). FH is FMIL’s only child, and I think she wanted to be involved in planning a big celebration for us. So it seemed like a good compromise to us to have a reception here that FH’s parents could invite whomever they wanted, and just choose the “select few special people” for the hometown wedding.
I’m planning on getting a short white/ivory dress to wear to the bigger reception because I don’t think I’d want to drag my wedding dress around a cocktail reception, but want to stand out lol.
Post # 12
i was never planning on having an at home reception either, but got guilted into it. we are doing a carnival cruise out of miami port (7 days), getting off in the grand cayman islands, and getting married on the island. we are having cake and punch on the island after the ceremony and then going back on the boat for dinner – wearing our wedding attire to dinner.
THEN when we get home we are doing an at home reception 2 weeks later. i have a hook up -one of my family members does direct business with my venue, so i am literally paying 50% of the usual cost, otherwise we would have just done a cocktail house instead of a full blown dinner. we got our cake from shop rite for 180 bucks to feed 150 people. we have a different cake topper.
Post # 13
@williamske: thats a gorgeous cake!
Post # 14
I am having an AHR. It was actually really important to me when we started planning a DW because I have been waiting for my reception my whole life. So we are planning a whole regular reception with dinner and dancing afterwards.
Post # 15
My friends had their wedding in TN and the reception in Ohio the very next weekend. It was a regular reception with dinner and dancing. The bride put her dress back on as did the wedding party. The girls even had their hair done again. It worked out well for them.
Post # 16
We’re not technically having a DW, but we’re getting married in Dallas and my family is in Minnesota. We agreed my family will invite a smaller number of friends and relatives to the Dallas wedding and then we will have an AHR in MN so they can invite all of their friends and extended family.
I think it will be more like a dinner reception than a wedding reception…I don’t think there will be dancing and an open bar, probably beer and wine and a catered plated dinner at a restaurant or country club. I will probably not wear my dress again for it, but I will probably look for a white cocktail dress instead. I’ve left this one up to my parents, so we’ll have to see what they want to do! I think it will be fun!