Weddingbee boards

we're having two, well, maybe 3. i'm a non religious american, FI's family is catholic nigerian. they wanted us to have a traditional igbo wedding (their tribe), so we will do that. i felt very strongly about everyone being welcome for both, we are a blending of cultures and we're proud of that, i don't think we should have to keep everything seperate. while not everyone is happy about it, we are having 2 ceremonies on the same day. if we had them a week apart, people who have to travel to be with us would have to pick one ceremony to be part of. it makes for a LONG day for everyone, and if they can't be there for the whole thing, that's ok with us. as long as we keep things moving, everyone well fed, and entertained, it should be fine. FI's mother would also like us to have some sort of catholic ceremony, we'll see. i have no interest in taking part in that.

as far as invitiing everyone to both, i think it very much depends on the situation and what you want. is one just a small thing to appease family? is it because you align yourselves with multiple faiths? could you have two officients (priest & a rabbi for example) work together on the ceremony?

We had 3 ceremonies + the legal signing of the papers.  Only our parents, my sister, and a close friend went to the two major ceremonies (the 3rd was for my church that only I am apart of), but that was because they were held in 2 different countries.

In regards to your situation, a friend of mine is a convert to Islam who married a Muslim man whose family comes from several different cultures (I believe they had to incorporate 6 different traditions altogether).  They had a traditional Muslim wedding, but they incorporated a lot of traditions from her Canadian context (walking down the aisle with her parents, bridesmaids (but they were in saris/lengas), a white hijab/veil, a regular wedding dress altered with a bolero to be more 'modest', mocktails instead of cocktails, a ceremony that was Muslim in content but had many non Muslims involved in their own readings/blessings/sharing thoughts etc.  They also had time and space for prayers, but during this time I believe they had something else for the non Muslims to do to keep them busy. I think in the end everyone was satisfied that everyone had been respected. 

Well I'm not sure that you are going to be able to have a Muslim wedding because according to Islam a Muslim girl is not allowed to marry a non-Muslim man. So when you go to the Mosque to request that they do your ceremony for you they won't agree to do it because its actually forbidden for them to do it by their religion. He could convert to Islam and then they would marry you but if he chooses to do that then there is no reason for a church wedding. And he shouldn't convert to a religion that he doesn't believe in because thats wrong. Also since you are not religious, if you care, you would still be unmarried according to Islam so long as he is non-Muslim and you have not had a Muslim wedding ceremony. 

We're having a small Catholic ceremony just for close family (about 10 guests), followed by a short, intimate brunch afterwards.  Then, the next day, we're having a larger non-denominational ceremony (about 100 guests), followed by full traditional western reception.  The first one is mainly for family, and the second one is the one that's important to us, but they're both our "real" wedding - we're getting married in 2 different ways!

It's been a huge task planning both of these events, but I think it's worth it.  They're completely different ceremonies.  We'll wear traditional Indonesian clothes and have religious readings and prayer for the first ceremony.  We'll wear western clothes and have a beautiful outdoor setting and secular readings for the second ceremony.  The only overlap will be the rings.