Post # 1
Before replying to this thread, PLEASE remember the forum rules and that if we’re going to have a discussion, it should be a calm and civil one. Just because someone doesn’t think the way you do doesn’t make them wrong!
So with that said, is anyone else here planning on NOT having children?
My fiance and I do NOT want children. We know we would be amazing parents and that when it is your own, it is different. But we don’t like kids. We’re total misanthropes who don’t want to deal with other parents. We’re disappointed in the current state of the world and believe if you aren’t 100% committed to the idea, you shouldn’t do it (at least in terms of such a life altering decision).
We are not the frothing at the mouth “childfree” people that unfortunately are associated with the term. We have nothing against children. They’re just not for us. There is a very long list for why we do not want to have kids from vague things like overpopulation to very particular things (like watching my parents finally having an empty nest and realizing they were almost strangers).
I see all the TTC threads and I know that most of you dream of babies and children and grandchildren. I know I’m not the only person out there who feels this way. Is anyone on the forum in the same boat as me?
Post # 3
Well… I can’t say I’m in the same boat, but I do understand you!
Right now I absolutely do not want children… for now. I know FI and I would be great parents and I know that in the future we will want them.
But even still its not a super exciting thing to me – at least not yet. Weddings also didn’t used to excite me and now look at me!
I understand though that for a lot of people the idea of having kids never excites them and no matter how many times you hear annoying people tell you that “that’ll change” it doesn’t. I have a lot of friends that are older than me who choose to be child free and not because they don’t like kids either. Which people also like to assume… haha.
I get it though. I’m sure there are many more people that feel the same as you!
Post # 4
FI and I are not having children. I love my life doing as I please to travel and enjoy life as we do now.
We have nothing against children either. Children are just not going to be a part of our lives for us as parents.
Post # 5
I’m glad you brought up that if someone doesn’t think like you it doesn’t make them wrong. On my second thread i was severly critized and judged and even had one person go on to bring it up in an entirly different topic As for kids I really feel like i don’t want children never had the maternal instinct but my FI who never seemed intrested in children before suddenly is considering it, i agree with everything you mentioned and feel pretty much the same way also pregnancy scares the crap out of me! lol it’s easy for him to want kids he doesn’t have to give birth to one.I really belive that if you don’t want children don’t people make feel like i’m not a woman because i’m not maternal but it’s not that i don’t like kids i just like my freedom and quiet more i don’t think it makes you a bad person at all.
Post # 6
Fiance and I are, under no uncertain terms, not having children.
Reasons (in general order of importance)
1. It could actually kill me (I have a 60% chance of postpartum psychosis, so really it could kill me or the baby! Or both! Fun times!)2. Money. I like having it. A lot of it.3. I like my job. A lot. More than having to trade shifts or take years off because I have to raise a kid.4. Too many kids out there already anyways, why put my shit genes out there?
The list goes on, but I think you get it. When I told my father that we weren’t having any children and that it was because I love my job (I’m a nursing student, currently in clinical practice) and want to devote my time to that, and that having a kid could kill me, he called me selfish and couldn’t understand how anything could measure up to having a kid.
Post # 7
I’m not exactly in that boat, but I will say my current SO is the only man who has ever made me feel like I could still have a fulfilling life if we somehow are not able to have kids on the future.
Post # 8
@Peacockfeather: It bothers me when people call you selfish for not wanting children it’s just another person using up resources makes no sense to me if anything your job is very selfless and the world really needs you!
Post # 9
Right now, yes. Five years from now? Probably. lol I wish I could eventually have grandkids without have children though!
Post # 10
Count me in! There is no reason or person who could make me change my mind either. There is a lot of mental illness that runs in my family, and I don’t want to be the next parent who has a child who commits suicide.
Post # 11
Im on the “I want kids in the future boat” Like….way into the future..I love my life with just me and my fiance being able to do what we want whenever we want. But most likely in about 10 years we will want one.
Post # 12
Yep, no kids for us either. Neither of us want kids and we feel so happy that we both think the same way. We are looking forward to using our money to travel and do the things we want. Some people may say that’s selfish, but no one says you have to have children, it is a choice, and our choice is no thanks!
Post # 13
FH and I don’t want children either.
- People tell me I’d make a great mom, but I just don’t have a maternal bone in my body.
- I like to sleep. I like to sleep in.
- I like going out whenever I want without having to worry about finding a babysitter.
- I like having money and plenty of it.
- I want to travel.
- I like my free time and I like my alone time.
Most everyone that I’ve talked to just can’t fathom the idea of someone being happy without children. My mom thinks I will change my mind because I have a uterus and every woman wants to reproduce. My FSIL is the only person who doesn’t think I’m a horrible person for not wanting children.
Post # 14
wanting kids in the future is not the same as being childfree. It’s a completely different sentiment.
And no, for the love of all that is holy it doesn’t mean we hate kids. I have a degree in developmental psych. For years I worked with kids for a living. Kids love me. I love kids. Magically, it makes me a freak of nature if I don’t want any!
…. This whole thing with my dad has made me very bitter about it all. That and my FMIL telling my fiance not to get a vasectomy because surely I talked him into not having kids, and we’re going to divorce and he’ll change his mind. UGH.
Post # 15
@Peacockfeather: wanting kids in the future is not the same as being childfree. It’s a completely different sentiment.
This exactly. It kind of annoys me when people say it and is part of the reason that soooooo many people question or comment when you say that you are not having children.
We are childfree but we don’t feel the need to justify our choice with reasons why. Why should we? No one asks people who choose to have kids to justify their choice.
Post # 16
- Wedding: February 2013 - Mansion House at the MD Zoo
We are most emphatically not having kids. I’ve never wanted them, wasn’t even that into dolls and such growing up. I am, however, into free time, money, and choosing how to spend said free time and money. FI is on board with me 100%, which is awesome. We have dogs, love our furbabies, refer to them as “the kids”, would love to get another, but we don’t want kids or the lifestyle that goes along with it.
Also, I am going to get flamed for this, but it’s anonymous so I’ll admit it: I don’t particularly like kids. They have weird high-pitched voices, they don’t “act right” in public (or private), they’re needy, and there’s a fairly high likelihood of them emitting some kind of noxious substance, at least when they’re young. Add babysitting and planning ahead onto that, and…. not for me. We have friends with kids and I am pleasant to and tolerate them, but I don’t particularly enjoy being around them or playing with them.
I would happily get sterilized but you still get your period (for some reason there are no prophylactic hysterectomies) which is unpleasant and really doesn’t seem necessary, so for now it’s the pill and after the wedding I am going to look into Mirena. FI is also considering getting a vasectomy, but he’s being kind of a baby about the genital surgery thing. 🙂
Glad to see a thread on this topic!