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So here is the thing..I had always been a shy girl growing up and didn't date...in fact I didn't have my first/only serious relationship until I was 21 years old. My mom and friends moms always told me not to worry about dating and that I would essentially meet the perfect guy the first time around. I suppose I did have opportunities to date and did go to lunch or dinner with the occasional guy, but nothing ever really developed. I suppose I was too picky in just committing to any guy and had always had the dream that I wouldn't have to search for the right guy and that somehow he would just find me and things would just feel right. In come my FI..we met and started dating nearly 4 years ago and we plan to marry. I have no doubts that there is anyone else I am meant to be with. I truly feel that I have met my soulmate and that everyone was right...I am marrying my first and only love! I admit I didn't see it coming initially (though within a year my father knew I would marry him). I guess it goes to show that my family knew what they were talking about.
Nope. I kind of wish I was but my experiences have made me the person I am. My fiance and I have talked about this and we both think if we had met 10 or 15 years ago, we wouldn't have dated. Of course, he is 7 years older than me, 10 or 15 years ago it would have made a bigger difference than it does now.
Like you, I didn't start to date until I was 21/22 years old. And if I had found the "one" then, I would have been so happy to miss out on 10 more years of crappy dates and bad boyfriends!
How lucky for you to have found the right guy early on. Moms are usually right even when we don't want them to be!
Well I had been in a serious relationship before but as for my FI I am his first real GF. IT was a little hard when we became soo serious, well him realizing he had missed his chances of being in the dating world but he realized that all the bad breakups and not so great past realionships people have had...he would have had it no other way. Funny he thinks he is perfect and he now just laughs and say he is soo perfect he didn't even have to make any wrong decisions in his past;) And yes our parents knew we would marry before us as well!
FH is really the only serious boyfriend I've had (we also started dating when I was 21). Before I met FH, I was definitely one to kind of flee right before that time where you would need to talk about if you were just hanging out or actually dating before. Ironically though FH and I had talked when we started hanging out that we "wanted to keep things casual". Summer was coming and he was suppose to study abroad the following semester but turned out there were other plans for the two of us (thank goodness!).
Another thing that I just thought...has anyone had issues where there partner fears that because this is your first serious relationship you are having stronger feelings that might fade. For example my FI has worried that I love him so much because it is my first relationship and that this has influenced my feelings for him. He has been in prior relationships and has his fears that my love may fizzle out or may just be infatuation. He hasn't spoken of these concerns in a long time, but did have these fears. I think he finally realizes that I do truly love him for who he is and not because he is my first serious BF.
For what it's worth, my oldest brother and his wife have been together for 25 years this month. They are each others first and only everything and they got married when he was 18 going on 19 and she was 17 going on 18. And they are still crazy in love.
I just posted a thread similar to this the other week. *Raises hand* Mr. CC is my first and only boyfriend! :) I didn't start dating until I was 18 because my parents were really overprotective.
That is my story, expect we have been together for 5 years...i knew i wanted to spend the rest of my life with him shortley after we started dating....
I started dating my fiance 2 months shy of my 16th birthday. He isn't the first boyfriend I had, but I consider it that way because he is the only serious relationship I've had and well, you just can't count that boy you kissed once when you were fifteen and dated (okay said you were dating but hung out with about once) in a two week relationship. The situation is the exact same for him. He had gone on dates and dated one girl that basically used him for a month, but no real relationships. Sometimes we get lucky and find our other half right out of the gate.
Bluebutterfly-congratulations! I too, am marrying in October of 2010! woo!
Although I won't be marrying my "first love" I am of the mindset that there can be a few "the ones" for us and it's up to us to make sure that a marriage works and that the love doesn't "fizzle". I think if you explain to your FI your commitment to the relationship and that you fully plan to work hard at the marriage even if some days you don't feel the love as strong ;) that you two will be in it for the long haul.
I think there are some difficulties of entering a marriage without having experienced other relationships, but again, I think if you are willing to work at this, and are willing to work hard sometimes....it will work out!
I'm not, but I am my FI's first relationship and my FSIL married her first bf as well. = )
I had one really not serious BF before falling for Mr. Bruschetta -- so, um, technically no, but in my heart, YES.
Yep... I am my fiance's first girlfriend, and he is my first boyfriend...we got together senior year of high school and have been together since...7 years!
FI was in a few serious relationships before me. I had a few "boyfriends" of a few months before him, and dated countless people he he, but he's my first love, and I was 26 when we met!! I ALWAYS said when I was younger, the first guy who can tolerate me and who I can tolerate for more than 6 months is the man I am going to marry. I remembered that at our 6 month anniversary. It's true!!
My FI was my second boyfriend.
It sounds like you're really sure, and four years is a lot of time to grow together and know each other - but, I just wanted to mention that in having previous relationships, people tend to learn a lot from their mistakes and are able to use that to better handle the one which grows to marriage. Although, on the other hand, if you're doing it right the first time - good for you! I just want to say that rough times will come and without perspective on working on stuff from before, it may be trying - but if you both want to work through it and don't give up, I believe all will be well. :)
@melodicsighs1 I agree that there was a lot that I could have learned from having past relationships....we have had this discussion ourselves many times. We have had our ups an downs...especially early on when I was still learning what being in a relationship meant. When we had our first fight I thought it was the end of the world, but we worked through it and both grew from it. The thing I think I have learned is that no relationship is absolutely perfect and that every couple needs to work at having their relationship survive. I have seen so many people I know let things go for too long and before they know it they hate each other or it's too late to fix.
I think there is often a common misconception of how a relationship works...I know it may seem funny, but one of my favorite relationship quotes came from the TV show Scrubs:
"Relationships don't work the way they do on television and in the movies: Will they, won't they, and then they finally do and they're happy forever -- gimme a break. Nine out of ten of them end because they weren't right for each other to begin with, and half the ones that get married get divorced, anyway. And I'm telling you right now, through all this stuff, I have not become a cynic, I haven't. Yes, I do happen to believe that love is mainly about pushing chocolate-covered candies and, you know, in some cultures, a chicken. You can call me a sucker, I don't care, 'cause I do...believe in it. Bottom line...is the couples that are truly right for each other wade through the same crap as everybody else, but, the big difference is, they don't let it take 'em down"
I didn't start dating until I was 17, but my first two "real" boyfriends were a joke and not anything serious. One lasted a month or so and one lasted 8 (in reality it was over by month 4 though!) and none of it was serious.
My husband dated 2 girls in high school, not very long and not very serious. He didn't have an SO all throughout college until he met me though. So i'm his first "serious" relationship...the only one he actually wasn't embarassed to bring home =]
I have had 3 other boyfriends besides my FI, even though I dated each one for almost a year, it really wasn't serious. We told each other "I love you" but I really didn't mean it, I wasn't looking for anything serious and although I was in a commited reltionship with these guys, it really was just for fun.
My FI is the first guy I because serious about, and truly my first real love :) I am also his first & only girlfriend :) I love it!
@ bluebuttefly: I'm glad you have that perspective. I definitely think that relationships are full of compromise and that love is a verb - you have to work to love someone. I don't necessarily believe that certain people are made to be in a "soulmate" kind of way, but yes, there are certain personalities that mesh better together. I don't think that being "made for eachother" makes the trials go away. No matter who the people are or how well you go together, problems will arise. It's the mutual desire to make it work and choose to still love that person that gets you through it. I think this is what so many people (no matter how many relationships they've been in) are missing. They expect everything to be great all the time, and when things go wrong, they don't know how to (or aren't willing to) handle it. That's all I wanted to say.
Yes, Mr. Newport not only is the first boyfriend, he's also the first guy I have ever gone on a date with. I was super shy in high school and we met the first semester of freshman year. We went on one date, and we ended up not actually dating for another few months. We ended up being best friends before we became official. :)
My fiance is my first boyfriend. I was fifteen and he was sixteen when we started dating, next year when we get married we will have been together ten years! People love to tell me that I've had it easy, I found the person I would be with forever the first time around, they really think that it hasn't taken work, how little they know. Most of these people are friends and relatives who haven't had long-tern relationships of their own. As we all well know relationships take work, the best relationships are the ones where both partners are constantly putting in effort toward the health of the relationship.
I jokingly tell people that my fiance and I have actually had at least six different relationships with each other. We had our high school relationship, our long distance Dallas-Boston relationship, our college in Boston relationship, our living together in Denton, TX relationship, our long distance Denton-Houston relationship, and now our living together in Houston relationship. Each phase of life gives you a new perspective and a new way of relating to each other; each transition has its bumps and its adjustment period. I'm sure going from engaged to married will take some getting used to too! I had insecurities about only having one boyfriend for a little while, but at about nineteen I just got over it.
We might be lucky but I prefer to think of us as self aware and perceptive. I mean, I don't have to go bungee jumping to know I wouldn't like it!
I did, my husband was my first boyfriend. I dated other guys before him but never had a "real" boyfriend. We were together almost 6 years before we got married
FI wasn't my first bf technically but I never dated anyone for more than a month or two so he was my first serious boyfriend and only one I've ever said I Love You to.
My FI isn't my first boyfriend, but I am his first and only girlfriend. It's funny because his brother married his first and only girlfriend also. Our family joke is that the Titus boys just know how to get it right on the first try :)
Yes! My FH is my first real boyfriend. I sort of "dated" a few boys in high school, but absolutely nothing serious whatsoever. We met in the first month of our first year of college. My best friend from high school went to the same college as me, and she met him first and set us up--she was convinced we would be perfect for each other! Now she is a bridesmaid and will get a special shout-out at the wedding for picking out my husband for me. I was seventeen when we started dating (late birthday) and we'll have been together for eight years by the time we get married!
No....but he is my last boyfriend! :-) He's the only one I've felt 100% comfortable with. Which really says a lot (in retrospect of course) about my exes.
I'm marrying my first "real" boyfriend - the first and only person I was really serious about and was in love with. I dated a lot before him and was in somewhat-long relationships but I was never serious about it, never even considered any of the exes as anything more than a Mr Right Now.
<span style="font-size: 7.5pt; color: black; font-family: Verdana;">I didn't, and neither did he (by a long shot, ha!). Personally, I am thankful for the growing up I did with other people. I feel more certain in my choice knowing what else is out there, and having realistic expectations of what relationships are like. My sister however married her first and only boyfriend. After 4 years of dating, 5 years of marriage, two kids, law school, moves, everything else life brings they are as in love as they ever were. I like to think "the one" comes along when we are ready for him/her.
yes, we are both each other's first boyfriend / girlfriend. We started dating my sophomore year in high school and have been together ever since. 10 years later we are engaged!
its funny because his parents were together since high school, and his grandparents started dating when they were in 8th grade and have been together ever since. We joke there must be something "in the water" with his family because they meet their spouses early in life. 
It was my first boyfriend who introduced us, so he's my second and I wouldn't have it any other way! =)
Yes, FI is my first boyfriend, and I'm his first girlfriend. Just goes to show when God has a plan it's usually the best!!!
My fiancee is my first and only too, which makes it even more meaningful to me :)
the guy am I with now is the first serious boyfriend I've ever had - hoping we're going to get married! we've been together for almost four years. I've certainly dated other people, but didn't even really start dating until I was 22/23 (went to an all-girls high school, never met any straight guys worthy of spending time with in college). I know I'm not his first serious girlfriend - I'm at least #2 or #3. but it seems he's only ever been in serious relationships before so it seems like he has the maturity to know what he wants. I experienced a lot of disappointment and drama before we met, so I am very thankful to have met him, particularly at a point where I was about to give up on them altogether! the saying is definitely true - when you meet the right guy, you "just know". my friends always encouraged me whenever things didn't work out with someone I was seeing - they always said when you meet the right guy, he'll be it for you. and yeah, they were right!
We are both each other's firsts -- I was a wallflower in high school, and he was too busy in the military to think about relationships. He had a very practical "Why should I date you if I couldn't consider marrying you?" viewpoint so never worried about it until he got somewhere where he was stable and meeting nice girls.
When I am being sane about it, I am so happy that neither of us have the baggage of past relationships coloring our views of each other. Sometimes, though, my vanity throws a little pity-party and I wish that I had all the stories that some of my girlfriends have of having to turn down all these annoying guys coming on to them or trying to date them (or even steal them away from their boyfriend/FI!). Even though I know I missed a lot of heartache by missing out on that, sometimes I feel like I just wasn't attractive enough to tempt anyone but my husband. However, he is a pretty big, imposing guy so maybe they were all just scared! :)
FI is not my first boyfriend or serious relationship, but I am for him. He 'dated' a girl when he was fifteen for a few months and then nothing until he was 25 and met me. It's kind of awesome to have that responsibility and role in his life, you know? It makes it kind of special, but it has terrified me at times to think that everything we do will be the only time he does the "first fight," "first I love you," etc. How will he know if they're good enough for him? He assures me he's' quite content though :-)
YES! I am marrying my high school sweetheart! Though I kind of dated someone before him, Mr. H was my first "real" boyfriend. We have been together 5 years and I am so excited to finally start our married life together next summer. I honestly wouldnt have it any other way. I guess we got lucky and found each other early... :)
FI isn't technically my FIRST boyfriend, but he was my first SERIOUS boyfriend. I had a boyfriend for like two months in high school, but we were really just friends that held hands.
My fiance is my first serious relationship, though I dated a lot before we got together, I was never in a relationship. We got together when I was 19, almost 20, and he was 20, almost 21.
He only had one serious relationship before that ended really horribly because the girl cheated on him. 
I could hate her, but I'm thankful, because now I got my man!! 
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