Post # 1
Let me preface this by saying in no way are my fiance and I very well off. We purposefully had a long engagement because we wanted to save up as much money as possible for the wedding.
We are paying for our entire wedding ourselves, and then some. Given my dad’s occupation, a handyman/house painter, he’s always gone through moments of flourishing income and great lulls in business.
In our culture we take care of our parents, and it’s seen as embarrassing/disgraceful to have your parents take on your financial burdens. You are supposed to help out your parents financially if they need it.
I never thought I would be taking on their wedding cost fees though, and it’s a huge source of stress for me, mentally and financially.
So far we’ve paid $1,200.
We are paying for their hotel fees, flights, my mom’s hair/makeup, and I’m afraid of what else they won’t be able to pay.
At the time we decided to have a destination wedding I had a frank talk with my parents about finances. They said they already had money saved up for it. That was when my dad was getting a lot of business. That’s not the case now.
Also, we’re paying $300 for bridesmaid dresses.
We were already on a very tight budget. Sometimes I can’t sleep at night from stress.
Is anyone else paying for their wedding party’s fees? How are you dealing with it/thestress? Any advice?
Post # 2
SerendipityBride: We are also footing the bill for the wedding. I’m not sure what you mean by “fees”, but we are paying for a lot of the party’s costs.
We are paying for the hotel rooms for the best man and our pastor.
The outfits for the ring bearer, flower girl, best man, and usher.
Also our pastor is flying in from Washington to Texas, we are paying for the round-trip flight.
Post # 3
SerendipityBride: My fiancé and I are paying for the wedding out self so far we have invested $8.981 in the weeding and we been engaged since 2012 and been saving every penny and we haven’t had a vacation since . In our culture we take care of our parents I am paying for my grand-parents outfit and my mom say she will buy my dress and her dress but I know I will put some money in. As a gift we paying for my bridemaid make’up.
Post # 4
FutureMrsLarson: I know a lot of people who have financial help from their parents or their fiance’s parents. And typically in American weddings, when you accept to be in a bridal party that means you cover your own fees (your dress, hotel if there’s one, hair & makeup, etc.).
You must be very close to your pastor. That’s very generous of you to pay for all of that.
Did you save up a lot before getting engaged? How are you managing the stress?
Chaedra: Yeah, we’re pretty much in the same boat. Is it a big wedding?
Post # 5
SerendipityBride: We had an 8 month engagement. We both make great money. I did a lot of DIY projects, my venue is $425 for the day and we are only hosting around 50 guests.
Post # 6
SerendipityBride: so far we paid for 80 people but we know it will be around 100 no less
Post # 7
- Wedding: September 2014 - Lubeznik Center for the Arts
We will likely be helping out with our wedding party’s expenses – our attendants are our siblings, aged 18, 22, and 24 so they are just kiddos. We are for sure paying for their lodging and transportation costs, and possibly even some for their dresses and hairdos. Thank the lord there’s only 3 of them!
Post # 8
I think in Australia/Asia, it’s etiquette to pay for your bridal party…so I’ve paid (and chosen) their dresses, and will be paying for hair and makeup. As it’s a destination wedding (international), we’re also paying for two nights accommodation at a beautiful villa. They’re paying for their own flights and other accommodation (most are staying a few days before and after, to make it a nice holiday). We’re meant to be splitting the costs of the wedding three ways, between us, my parents and his father.
Post # 9
SerendipityBride: FI and I are also paying for our wedding, as well as the plane tickets/accommodations/attire for FI’s 3 brothers, their wives, and his 8 nieces/nephews. His family members are all on a pretty fixed income, and we live in a different state than they do. When we initially discussed our wedding plans, we decided that if we married in our home state rather than where his family lives, we would pay everyone’s expenses to attend the wedding. We therefore budgeted for all of this when we first started calculating our expenses, and tried to cut back in other areas to help balance everything out a bit.
However, we completely underestimated how costly this endeavor was going to be, and we’re now spending a lot more than we had originally anticipated. Of course, the alternative of not having his family attend our wedding was never an option for us. At least we knew that we were going to be paying for 14 family members ahead of time though. I can definitely understand how it would be an even greater source of stress if you hadn’t initially allocated money in your budget to pay for family/friends.
Post # 10
Where are you from? In the US it isn’t typical to cover wedding party costs. Elsewhere, that doesn’t seem to be the case.
We paid for tux rentals and bridesmaids dresses, despite me being American and having the wedding in the US. My English MIL graciously offered to cover those costs for us. I actually like this tradition much more because if I’m telling them what to wear, why should they have to pay?
Everything else was optional though – they could wear whatever shoes, do whatever hair/makeup, etc. Because it was their choosing, I did not cover the cost.
Perhaps it would be best to go with that sort of route? Paying for flights and hotels seems way above and beyond to me, but then again, I don’t know where you’re located or what;s the norm!