Is anyone else, perfectly normal, but VERY lonely?

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
6407 posts
Bee Keeper

I am the opposite lol

But I suggest 🙂

Post # 4
1883 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I’m definitely that way. I have work “friends”, but no one that I really hang out with on the weekends or anything.

I have 1 friend who lives nearby, and we maybe hang out once every three weeks or so and it’s always going out and not very personal. It’s not the kind of friendship where we can just hang out in sweatpants, talk, and watch TV…which is the kind of friendship I’d like. 

I miss having real, genuine friendships where you can just be yourself. All of my friends like that live 3-5 hours away. 🙁


Post # 5
4139 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013


Post # 6
431 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

After college and real life schedules got underway, it seems like work friends and neighbor friends and I became a lot closer. 

Any friends at work worth spending time with on the weekend?  You can always try to meet some of your neighbors.  There are other people in the same boat, that would love to grab some dinner, wine, talk about their week.

It seems like such an achievement to get some girls out for girls night now because we all have kids and husbands to work around.  When we do get out, we have so much to talk about, it feels like we didn’t have enough hours.

Post # 7
865 posts
Busy bee

@kerplunk00: Making friends can be really difficult post-college!  I completely agree with the meet-up suggestion.  You should join a club, take a class of some sort, volunteer some where – anything that will get you out there and meeting people!  


Post # 8
1719 posts
Bumble bee

I suggest focusing not on finding friends, but on finding out about and enjoying yourself. 

Go to places you’ve always wanted to go, but haven’t. Go to museums, take craft classes, go to exercise classes — basically, explore your own interests and learn more about and expand your own abilities. 

Too often people rely on others for entertainment. They don’t go out unless they have someone with them; not for safety purposes, but just because they don’t like being alone or can’t have fun when they are alone. I think that’s rather sad, and not in one’s own best interest. 

While spending time with yourself and getting to know yourself, you’ll likely meet a good friend or two. 

Post # 9
110 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@kerplunk00:  I went through this stage a few years ago. It sounds to me like you are an introvert like myself. Unfortunately for us, our preferred methods of relaxing often do not do wonders for our social lives! Using my assumption that you are an introvert, I recommend the following:

  • Invite co-workers out to lunch or games night or something. You would be surprised at how many people actually think you would be cool enough to hang with after work.


  • If someone invites you somewhere, even if you do not think you will enjoy that activity, just go. This is of course assuming said activity is legal and is within your moral boundaries of what is right:-)


  • Join a sports team. Some of my friendships were made this way


  • really is an option like the pp said. Join some of the group activities and see how you like it. Make the effort to engage people in conversation and strike up friendships this way.


  • Join a book club if you like reading or some other club that matches your interests

As for noone calling or texting you, usually people call and text those who make an effort too. Perhaps  you are not very social either when you are away from people? So, an additional piece of advice to add to the list is that after you do make a few friends, be sure to maintain the friendship by calling and texting and initiating social activities.


Also, a change in diet from takeout may also help. I honestly think too many processed foods contribute to low energy. If you are eating it because you cannot cook, then you can join a cooking class and maybe make some new friends that way:-p! Oh, and exercise. Trust me, all that excess energy generated from a good workout session will make you feel bubbly and happy and eager to spread the good cheer with other human beings:-).


Good luck!


Post # 10
545 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

YES! I’ve been working on this for a few years now and here are some things that helped me make new friends:

– “Do the things you would like a friend of yours to do.” If you do activities you think interesting people engage in, turns out, that’s where potential friends are! It can be anything. For me it was going to yoga, volunteering at the same place regularly, and becoming a “regular” at a few favorite restaurants. I’ve meet some GREAT friends at these places and turns out the yoga and volunteering (not really the restaurants, ha!) were good for my body and soul. 

– “Say yes to any and all invitations.” Even if you’re tired, not feeling up for it, not interested, don’t know anyone else there. If a person invites you out, go.

-“Stick your neck out.” Have an interesting coworker? Neighbor? See the same girl who looks friendly at yoga. Ask them for coffee. Be honest. Say you’re looking to make new friends. 

I’m pregnant now and I’ve noticed my social circle is lacking in other currently pregnant people, so I’m basically viewing every pregnant person as a potential friend, ha! Watch out ladies, if you’ve got a baby bump, we WILL be hanging out. 

Post # 11
2501 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@DesertLady:  These are great suggestions!

@kerplunk00:  It is REALLY hard to make friends as an adult! I would look at desert ladys suggestions and start putting yourself out there ( I know it can be hard!! I suck at doing this too) but whats the worse that can happen?


Post # 12
118 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Yes I am a complete homebody too! I have approximately one friend. I am thinking of looking on meetup for a book club or something like that. It’s SO hard to make friends post-college! You are not alone.

Post # 13
1892 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I don’t even get to say I have work friends cause I’m unemployeed for the past 15 months…. So going to the grocery store is my big social event. Granted I have DH…. But he works 11pm-7am… Comes home around 8-10am then sleeps til 6-9pm…I would love to just up and leave woth him where everything is new.

Post # 14
9949 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

You don’t hang out with your SO?  Do any of his/her friends have friends you could hang out with?

Post # 15
1312 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - NH

I agree with joining some type of club or fitness class.  My former roomate met quite a few people doing zumba classes every week.  If you can be social and start talking, you will meet people as some are there for the same reason as you!

Post # 16
1344 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

I totally agree, that making friends post-college/university is much more challenging. I’m even in a graduate program, but our schedules and life responsibilities are diffferent, that it’s not the same as being in undergrad.

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