(Closed) is anyone else planning a wedding while a family member is terminally ill?

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
7697 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Yeah, my wedding (his mom passed on 2.5 weeks before) and my mom passed away 1 month before my daughter’s wedding.  It happens.  I’m sorry.  We both tried to move our weddings so our loved ones could make it. It will be what it will be.  Having family close will be good for your dad.  Even with grieving it is good to have celebrations of life too. Best Wishes.

Post # 5
Member
232 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I think the best thing you can do is to think on what your grandfather would want for you (which is probably to be happy and carry forward with this joyous time).  I would also probably have a sit-down with your dad to make sure he’s OK with all of it and to give him the opportunity to voice any concerns or wishes for the wedding.

Think of it this way: should your grandfather pass away before the big day, your wedding will give that side of your family a nice opportunity to come together and celebrate as opposed to grieve.  Sure, it will be bittersweet, but everyone will be ready for light, fun night, too.

Post # 6
Member
232 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Oh, and I meant to include, I’m sorry to hear about your grandfather.  I was in that boat about a year ago, and it’s never easy.

Post # 7
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

My older brother had liver cancer and died two weeks before my younger brothers wedding. there was never a question or a doubt that the wedding would go on.  My older brother was looking forward to my little brother starting his life with someone he loved, and he would have been terribly upset to stop it because of him.  It was nice to see the same people, from out of state was well as nearby, at my older brothers funeral and a few weeks later to celebrate a happy time.  It really did help.  good luck.

Post # 9
Member
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I’m sorry to hear about your grandfather! I hope that you and your family find peace during this bittersweet time!

I became engaged last May and we set our date for this April. My step-mom had been battling cancer for 3.5 years at this point. She continued treatments ONLY because she was determine to be at my wedding in April. She passed away New Years Eve. Through everything, I continued to plan because it’s what SHE wanted. And, you can always mention your grandfather during the ceremony. Not to sound harsh, but if he passes away do some kind of memorial thing. There are tons of threads on here about it. Or if he’s still living but unable to attend, you can still recognize him in some way. Even if you’re not close, it would mean a lot to your dad!

Post # 11
Member
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

You can always do something as simple as lighting a candle at the entrance or wherever and make not in the program “the candle lit at ______ is in loving memory of Mr. John Brown”. That’s not too terrible and it won’t necessarily be “mentioned”. Good luck and I really hope nothing traumatic happens before your big day!

Post # 12
Member
19 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I am also planning a wedding with a terminally ill family member. My father was diagnosed with pulmonary fibrosis about 2 years ago and given 2 years to live. Our wedding is in October and it has always been my dream to have my dad walk me down the aisle. See, he has been sick for almost my whole life and i never thought i would get that opportunity. Now with the wedding so close I am almost sick over the thought of him not being there. Honestly, i do not know what i will do. My fiance and I have been engaged since 2008 but because of money we this is the earliest we have been able to afford a wedding. Its hard to plan a wedding with that kind of stress. I am so glad I found this thread, i was thinking i was the only on e.

Post # 13
Member
177 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

my dad lost his battle to bowel cancer 12 days before my wedding  (which was just after xmas)- we buried him 2 days before – its an understatement to say i was stressed – but he fought so long to be there thast focusing on it made him carry on for longer than he was expected to – he insisted that we carry on with the wedding no matter what and we made sure to remember him

it will give your grampa something to strive for even if he ultimately doesnt make it – and it would upset him knowing he caused any plans to alter because of him.

good luck with your wedding and planning

x

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