Is anyone else shocked by how many guests asked for professional photos?

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
1072 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Yeah, you’re being irrational. It takes about two minutes max for a good photographer to set up a quick portrait of a couple of guests, and you have them for several hours. The photographer isnn’t going to miss anything much if they are doing their job and keeping an eye on the schedule, but it’s obviously going to mean a lot to the guests involved to have a nice photo to treasure. These are your guests too, so surely it’s still nice to have good pictures of them? It just strikes me as petty to get upset about that kind of thing unless the photographer really drops the ball and misses a shot of something crucial.

Post # 3
Member
3412 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I think it is very rude. We had one family at my wedding do the same. I was pretty amazed at their balls, TBH!

Post # 5
Member
4825 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Was it tacky of them? Yes. Are you overreacting? Yes. 

Post # 7
Member
1072 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

aconnor82:  If you want to pull the photographer aside during a down period (eg. dinner) and ask for a quick photo, I personally see no issue with it. If you’re expecting an entire family portrait session or there is something else going on then sure, that would be rude, but the photographer should be able to set their own boundaries for that kind of thing. There aren’t going to be fascinating things going on every second of the wedding, so taking a minute or two out is no big deal.

Post # 9
Member
1108 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

They asked your permission, you said yes. If you had a problem you should’ve said so then. Now, you will just have to move on

Post # 10
Member
502 posts
Busy bee

I can see where you’re coming from — people getting professional photos on your dime — but you should really let this go. You have to pick your battles, and this one isn’t worth it (especially since you agreed to it!). They’ll now have a family photo that they may frame that they will always associate with your wedding.

 

You could always send them a copy and write a message on the back that somehow involves the event, too 😉

Post # 11
Member
245 posts
Helper bee

It wouldn’t bother me if they just wanted one shot, they’ve made the effort to travel all the way to my wedding, probably bought us a gift, they’re all dressed up & want a quick professional picture to remember our day, no problem! I’ve invited these people to my wedding so I must care about them, why wouldn’t I want a nice pic of them on our day?

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by  weddinglimes.
Post # 12
Member
4825 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

aconnor82:  Well that’s a different story! If your photographer missed important photos you wanted, then yeah I’d be mad too, but at the photographer, not the guests. 

Post # 13
Member
995 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

aconnor82:  I can’t believe no photographers have responded yet! To us, that is VERY rude and typically a pet peeve. In fact, you’re lucky you only had two families do it and one asked the couple first…I average about 5-7 couples/families doing this per wedding and it drives me nuts. This is because I’m a Photojournalistic/moment photographer and moments are happening constantly. Even if it only takes me 3 minutes to take the shot in another room, I am missing moments the couple paid me to capture. Maybe they will be major maybe they won’t, but I don’t like being asked to take the risk. Some families are awful and will ask for SEVERAL portraits thoughout the day and then we are jerks if we say no to even one request.

Penang1885:  dinner is the short downtime when the photographer should/will be eating… Not taking free family portraits for the guests without the b&g. If you are so rude as to rip me away from my only 15-minute break and only meal in what is possibly a 12-hour work day I may get up and take a shot to appease you but I won’t even deliver your photo to the couple and will probably avoid taking shots of you as much as possible for the rest of the night.

Post # 14
Member
995 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

RunnerBride13:  the problem is you never know how a bride is going to feel about this situation… If we say no to the guest, and the guest goes to complain to the couple about what jerks we are for refusing to take a shot of them its a craps shoot as to whose side the b&g will take. It’s easier to risk the three minutes to take the shot than piss of the guests, unfortunately 🙁

Post # 15
Member
11740 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

It wouldn’t bother me at all.  I’d be glad that the money I paid for a photographer was used well, and that they’d get a nice professional photo of them dressed up.  Plus, whenever someone commented on it, they could always say, “Oh, yeah. isn’t it lovely, it was at So-and-So’s wedding!” 

I think you are seriously overreacting about the whole situation.  If you were missing must-have shots, you should have found the photographer to finish them.

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