Post # 1
We are having a “no younger kids allowed” wedding. I know you’re not supposed to pick and choose, and if you’re inviting kids then you should invite all of them, but we aren’t.
My FI and I have a 7 year old son, and about 5 other nieces/nephews/cousins that are Between 7-10, and they are all being invited. We also have about 5 other nephews/cousins that are under 5 but we aren’t inviting them. So we kind of set an age limit of 5.
I know it probsbly goes against all the rules, but honestly, this is what is going to make my day the easiest and happiest. So thats what were doing!
is anyone else throwing out the etiquette book?
Post # 3
I don’t think what you’re doing goes against “the rules.” You’re actually applying a rule consistently — no kids 5 and under. What would be questionable is if you said, “No kids 5 and under, except for my favorite niece and nephew, and my best friend’s kid, but otherwise… no kids under 5!”
Post # 4
My husband and I laughed when people told us we had to do things a particular way. Etiquette means nothing to us. When we proof’d our invitations, the assistant given to us changed some things around for “Etiquette”, and we asked for them to be changed back. We liked it that way for a reason.
Post # 5
I used address labels, and didn’t have stamped envelopes or vouchers (I didn’t know they existed) for the international guessts.
Post # 6
I’m ignoring the “rules” in so many ways. Most of the people I know won’t care if I hand write their addresses or use a lable, or if I don’t have the proper number of envelopes and inserts inside of my invites. If anyone is super offended by something so silly, then honestly they don’t need to come. I don’t think they’re the kind of person I’m really going to miss.
Post # 7
That’s sort of the way I see it too in many ways.. If my friends and family are so fragile that they are insulted if we don’t follow all the “rules” then they don’t really need to be there.
I plan on having a fun wedding..buffet dinner, open bar, some kids, good time and good party. I’m not doing everything I’m supposed to but we are doing exactly what we want 🙂
Some of the things I’ve gotten flack about so far is the fact that we aren’t having any flowers (mostly its just the older people who seem to care about this) and the fact that we aren’t doing a bouquet or garter toss (again, it’s the older people, my younger single friends wont miss it at all).
Post # 8
Is anyone else throwing a etiquette rule out the window?
Oh, yes, trust me: many Bees are omitting good etiquette. Many of them, without even knowing what the actual etiquette is, and most of the remainder without considering what the consequences may be. And on the other hand, a great many of those who think they are throwing etiquette out the window are in fact just being a little unconventional and not offending against etiquette at all.
Take you, for example. Etiquette actually says, that a hostess is responsible for selecting her guest list and that she should select guests who will be compatible and enjoy each other’s company, subject only to the constraint that if married or engaged persons are invited (or those who “by habit and repute” must be assumed to be married or engaged) then she must invite both members of the couple. If you in your good judgement as hostess think that younger children will be incompatible with your other guests and result in guests’ not enjoying each other’s company, then you and etiquette are not at odds.
Post # 9
- Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World
@AB Bride: Haha, I’m going to print addresses on my envelopes…my handwriting is horrendous and we can’t afford a calligrapher!
Post # 10
I used clear labels on my invites…
I know. I’m a terrible person and everyone hated me for it and went on and on about it at my wedding Saturday. -___-
Post # 11
We didn’t have invitations. We just sent out texts/emails with a link to our wedding website where they could RSVP. We had to move our wedding up to 2/23/13 at the end of March, so there wasn’t any time to send out actual invitations anyway.
Post # 12
We are following some rules and not following the others. Examples of not “rule following”:
-My father is not walking me down the aisle or giving me away.
-We are not having a “first look” or waiting until the wedding ceremony to see each other. We are getting all our pictures done before the ceremony so we can spend time with our families.
-I am not planning the vast majority of our wedding, my FI’s mother will be.
-I am not going to have a wedding party. Just me and my fiance.
-There will be no dancing at my wedding and no friends. Just family.
I love it when some Bees scream “ETIQUETTE!” at me when they aren’t even following all the rules.
Post # 13
its my party … and i do what i want to! 😛
Post # 14
I might put something really against the rules in my invitation, but I am not even going to post it here because of all the flack I will get–if you don’t know my family, you won’t understand why it’s necessary. (I will say that it has nothing to do with gifts/registries/cash, though!)
Post # 15
Hah yeah. I uninvited 75 people from our wedding. We went from a traditional wedding to a small wedding with 25 (including us and photographer) guests that are all immediate family. I also told three of my five bridesmaids to not come since the wedding was so far away and so small. I kept my two MOHs. We are throwing two smaller receptions at our parent’s houses afterwards (in different states) so those three “bridesmaids” can attend that. The other two bridesmaids (MOHs) wouldn’t be able to attend either of the two “receptions” so they will be at the actual wedding. I just realized how confusing it all sounds.
Anyways, people were telling me on here to cancel my wedding date (lose thousands in deposits), and plan a whole new wedding with only 25 ppl so nobody got offended. Well, the reason we had to downsize was because of the budget and family members that said they would help pay but then backed out. Yeah, let me just throw away all of my deposits. And for the bridesmaids, I no longer speak to one of them but I realized now we weren’t really friends anymore when I asked her to begin with. The other two are completely understanding of the situation.
Post # 16
@prisigtr: I don’t know why the address labels are even considered to be an etiquette ‘rule’. That’s why I broke that one! The post office has rules for addresses, I just went with that.