Post # 1
I’m just wondering as the days get closer to our big days, has anyone had to think for anyone else?
I get a text message from one of the Groomsmen who doesn’t have a mode of transportation, who has a fiance who doesn’t drive either, but is not a part of the wedding because of personal feelings about her. I don’t really know her and I’ve known her for about as long as I’ve been with my Fiance, which will be 9 years. She’s also kept the Groomsmen away from his friends because she doesn’t like us, which I don’t like either.
So back to the story, I get a text message from him asking what we are doing as a mode of transportation. I reply saying that my Fiance & I are renting a car & having everyone else carpool. He then asks if his Fiance is involved in the wedding. I politely reply I couldn’t fit her into the wedding. Then he asks if she would be included in the whole carpool thing as well. I told him that I didn’t know because I didn’t know who is riding with who. Then he replies ok let me know when you know.
Am I supposed to do this work for him? And do all the thinking? I feel like just because it’s my wedding, everyone can’t think for themselves and I have to take care of everything. Has anyone else been in similar situations?
Post # 3
Unfortunately, yes! Very similar to yours, actually. A friend from college, who is attending our wedding as a guest, has asked a million questions, mostly around transportation to and from the airport. I politely tried to dodge the question, but ended up giving in and doing a ton of research to try to find the easiest method of transportation.
I feel your pain! Try to help as much as you can without driving yourself crazy, but be comfortable letting them figure it out for themselves at some point. Good luck!
Post # 4
Tell him to put on his big boy pants and figure out their own ride,
Post # 5
Etiquette wise the bride and groom are responsible for finding a transportation for themselves and the wedding party… That’s just what I thought?
Post # 6
I think you should give him the number of a couple of the other GM’s or BM’s and tell him to call them to sort it out. Or, if you know if someone has room in their car, have him head that way. I don’t think it’s unreasonable for him to assume that you’d know who is traveling with whom.
And – it feels like I’m thinking for everyone lately – and I’m still 4+ months out! 🙂
I got annoyed at first and now I’m just trying to embrace it as part of the wedding ‘fun’!
Post # 7
Yep I had a cousin flying into the wedding and I had to find her a ride from the airport to the hotel. Not an easy task since the airport was an hour away and people were coming in to town on different days and times. My thoughts were why are you asking me, why not your own parents or brother?!
I would tell him to contact one of the other groomsmen and see if he can carpool with them. Otherwise you’ll be the middle person. That’s what I did with my cousin. I gave her the number to the person I thought could possibly give her a ride and said call her and work it out.
Post # 8
THANKS!!! I’ll get back to him about contacting the other gm’s. He already has all their numbers, because they’re all best friends. So there shouldn’t be any trouble with that. Keyword “shouldn’t”. 🙂
Post # 9
… I told anybody with questions really really close to the wedding to refer to the pamphlet my husband made with all of the dates, times, phone numbers. In your situation, I’d ask him to work it out on his own, and suggest he contact other GMs. Other than that, if he didn’t respond well (ie – continuing to bug you) i’d tell him that you have a lot on your plate and you’d appreciate him figuring it out on his own. No adult wants to hear that, haha.