Post # 1
So, I had never thought about this before but the other day we had to get the air conditioner at our house looked at. When I opened the door the man asked me if I was Mrs. “Smith” (not real name, but my future husband has a very common name) I am hispanic and with my BF being white, I started to think if it would be weird if I took his last name. Am I just over analyzing here or does anyone else feel uncomfortable in this way? I always said that whoever I marry I will take their last name, I dont want to do the hyphenated thing.
Post # 3
I dunno, but i have a friend who is very classically “white”–blonde hair, blue eyes, etc. She married a guy who is half portuguese and now her last name is Viegas!
She’s super thrilled about it and loves throwing people a new one =]. If my family histories had been reversed, my last name would be Jung. And i’m not exactly full korean! =]
Post # 4
Sort of…I’ve never wanted to change my name, but the fact that FI and I have very different cultural heritages compounds that. While I love and respect his culture, I am not “of” it and I can’t picture myself ever being comfortable with his name as my last name. I would consider incorporating it into my name somehow, but I can’t imagine dropping my own last name that reflects my heritage.
Post # 5
I am white, and will be trading my not very common but very English sounding name for a short, Indian one 🙂 I am happy about it because its shorter! And I guess this is silly but I’m old fashioned and think its sweet to take on his name.
Post # 6
Like mechiebaby, I’m in the opposite situation from you. I had a short, Anglican name and traded it for a very uncommon, hard to spell, hard to pronounce, Italian name. I thought I had feminist reasons for not wanting to change my name, but once I realized my reasons were more about inconvenience and an ethnicity I was hesitatnt to adopt, I went ahead and made the change. When people see my new name, I feel like I have say, “it’s Italian. It’s my husband’s name.”
Post # 7
- Wedding: August 2010 - Stage 6 Steiner Studios
I’m in a similar situation. I don’t dislike my fiance’s last name or feel weird about it but I do feel some attachment to my heritage/ethnicity through my last name and feel like I’m giving up some of that by taking my fiance’s. I haven’t decided if I’m going to hyphenate or not. I don’t think people think twice about a last name not “matching” someone’s ethnicity anymore since it’s so common. My point is, you’re not the only one w/that exact debate going through their heads 🙂
Post # 8
I won’t be. In addition to other reasons, I prefer to have my last name reflect my cultural heritage because I do not want to be seen as aspiring to be someone I’m not. Seinfield did an episode on this. 😛
Post # 9
I’m not changing.
I LOVE my impossible-to-spell last name.
It honors my ancestors.
Post # 10
I actually love the scenario you are in! I’m in the total opposite boat – my FI’s last name is the ethnicity that everyone ASSUMES I am and I hate it (the assumption of that other nationality). Additionally, my last name and his last name are very close in spelling and I’ve been mistaken for his last name as well!! It was so much so that when we started dating I cringed at the thought of one day ending up with him and thus having his last name… how funny that’s what happened, huh?
Fortunately, he does not care if I keep my maiden name and because of that, I’m fairly sure I will. I didn’t want to do the hyphenated thing either… I tried to convince him that we should create a last name hybrid – but he really likes his last name, we are opting just to keep them as is.
Post # 11
I agree I love my Persian last name. I would be going to a super common last name and torn. And my mom is blonde, blue eyes and has a long Persian last name, I never thought about it like that…
Post # 12
Yeah, I guess I’m torn with losing a piece of who I am and who I have been. I know it shouldn’t be a huge deal, but it just feels weird.
Post # 13
Oh… I have the same dilema … everyone is always like “Are you ____?” and I’m like YEAH omg cool … but now I will have a different … still non-American sounding last name … which is not very distiguishing … could guess it to be a million different things.
I will take his name. I’m kind of excited. It’s much much shorter than my own. I will no longer have to spell it out with WORDS haha
Post # 14
Better than random people looking at me, cocking their heads and going “what are you?….” like they’ve never seen a korean mix woman. Nice. Stupid midwest! Nobody blinks an eye in California and in MO it’s “what are you”. Um, human?
Ok vent over =]. Has very littel to do with your ladies’ name changes dilemnas =]
Post # 15
I had a friend in highschool that was Korean … she was sooo beautiful =) I used to be convinced that I would adopt a Korean baby. (in highschool mind you lol)
Post # 16
i’m not legally or professionally taking his last name. however i’m wondering about the social adoption of it. that’s something that’s common in both our cultures. i hadn’t thought about it until his mum has been calling me mrs newlastname recently. she’s excited that i’m part of the family (which is awesome!)
if i do that, i’ll have the same thing – everyone will do a double take but i never thought it would be an issue.