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What cultural aspects are you bringing into the wedding? I'm curious about this because it seems that M and I are trending towards marriage within the year. I really don't want to jump the broom (deathly afraid of falling and being cursed throughout our marriage!!)
M definitely wants to get married in a church, which I really don't want to do because at 7 I dreamed of an outdoor wedding. He finds this strange because everyone he knows has gotten married in a church.
However I definitely want to do the tasting of the four elements because I think it's such a cool tradition. (for those that don't know it dramatizes the “Traditional” promise to love “for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health.” The four elements that the Rev. Valentine uses -- lemon, vinegar, cayenne pepper, and honey -- represent the sour, the bitter, the hot, and the sweet times of marriage) and i think M would love that.
All of this is probably premature because I'm sure I'll be waiting another year, but i wanted to know what you ladies think!
**Sidenote: Evidently M has thought a lot about everything and has decided that he wants a February or March wedding so that we can go to the Caribbean for our honeymoon, and he knows I'll need about 4 or 5 months to plan so I'm figuring next fall for his proposal. I find it so hilarious because I actually have never thought about a honeymoon or where I'd go?! LOL!!!
that tasting thing sounds awesome!
on the original note, however, yeah, i feel ya. i am 1/2 japanese and so many people have asked me if i am going to do a japanese shinto thing, or wear a kimono...and honestly, no, i am not.
one of my close friends is half japanese and her husband is mexican and they didn't do any cultural aspects either in their wedding. are you wearing some form of red (shoes, undies, etc) to bring good luck?
i think WB Blogger Mrs Swan jumped the broom....
i never heard of this until i saw a bridezilla episode one day
@eloping: yeah, it's really a great tradition in the African American community and M will probably MAKE me jump it because the reasons why are completely in tune with the way he lives, however.. he knows that I am clumsy, so if I must to appease him, there will be pix of me kicking off my stilettos jumping the broom, putting them back on and making my exit... omg the look of concentration on my face would be priceless i'm sure lol!!!
but the tasting of the elements i definitely have to do... one of my girlfriends did it and i LOVED it... i will probably put a blurb into the program and do it at the ceremony or perhaps at the reception... not sure yet but since all of this is premature i guess it's not a biggie that i don't know yet... lol!!
I don't know if it's cultural or not. But I'm not doing a unity candle. I had a friend (I was a bm in the wedding) and she caught her nail on fire doing that.
I think it's be hilarious if I tried to jump over anything in heels. It would wind up on you tube or something! With a title like "Clumsy bride falls face first into flower arrangement"!
@belle: i don't want the unity candle either, what if it blows out or won't light? that would freak me out. we are definitely skipping over that. we may pour liquid of different colors into a pillar vase or something and even have the kids help us to show the joining and blending of five personalities into one unit. Lol what color does pink, purple, blue, light blue and red make?! lol... that would really be cool because it would involve our kids who are adorable in the ceremony.
I dunno. We could give our boys some crayons and let em' have at it and see what it makes!
Right now my personality is red. My son I hear stomping around upstairs and it's freakin' midnight. He must have gotten up to go to the bathroom.
lol!! the colors that i named are everyone's favorite colors... it will probably make some crazy looking "earthy" concoction lol!!! but i like the signing of the family license as well... where everyone promises to respect the family unit as a whole and to try their best to make sure that each person in the family was loved and respected.
my little one is sleeping, my poor guy has a canker sore :(... i've never had one and googled it so i gave him the medicines it suggested, his allergies must be acting up because of the weather changes.
ive seen on youtube brides setting their veil on fire during the candle thing - thats enought to scare me off it let alone fingernails! yikes
ive seen wedding vids of wedding guests setting fire to their hair at receptions when they have been doing stomething stupid too..... all that hair product is not good i tell you :)
@eloping: lol (note to self no hair spray)... I'll probably have a non-hair spray look anyway, something like this... my hair is near my shoulder now and by the time he proposes and we get married (which will probably be spring of 2011) my hair should be to my shoulder blades...
spring 2011... thats about April for you guys isnt it??? i cant think that far ahead - i dont know how you do it!
hubby tried to talk to me about a Antartica trip in 2011 and i said let me get thru 2009 first!
@eloping: he wants a spring wedding, late february (my suggestion because of floral prices or march). evidently he's been thinking about this because he said the weather in the caribbean is perfect around this time. i am just surprised that he has been putting that much thought into everything lately lmbo!!
Now I love that hair style! J.A. is so pretty! That's look good with your hair.
jessica alba is a scuba divers pinup girl... go to any scuba site and she always makes an appearance in threads
Feb 2011... i could deal with that, thats only 14mths away so not too far away so not too far ahead. i know there are some brides that are talking 2012 onwards and that would just break my heart to have my wedding day so far away. when i was ready to get married, i was ready to do it NOW not 3yrs from now... but then again, i can be kinda impatient :)
btw, i have chocolate cake here as i forgot my lunch today and its all that we had in the office - anyone want some?
@eloping: ummm you have to remember i'm not engaged LMAO!! if we are engaged this fall/winter, i'd definitely bust my butt to have a wedding this february or march. if after then, then i have to wait until the next year.
((sending cake over))
*sigh* did i mention in a weeks time im suppose to be on a tropical south pacific holiday with hubby and my only niece but i tried to break my ankle 3 weeks ago so still limping, i hit my head in the warehouse so have a massive black eye and lump and now i have a cold... Oct hasnt been a good month for me and i never get sick/injured
i think i need a pity party......
((HUGS)) we still have chocolate cake from m's bday, i could join you but i'm about to scarf down on the yummy taco lasagna i made earlier.
I am African-American...was raised in the church but I will not be lighting a unity candle...a staple at every church wedding I have ever been in. Furthermore...I will not be jumping anybody's broom and I will not be getting married in the church....LOL. My FI and I will be getting married in Jamaica..and while I have zero input in the planning (it's supposed to be a suprise for me) but my dream wedding was a tropical location..outdoors, barefoot with just the two of us.
I'd like to jump the broom, but I don't think it's expected.
I don't plan to have the candles or sand/liquid pouring, those don't at all appeal to me. We probably won't be doing it in a church, bf and I aren't terribly religious, and he wants to get married in Aruba.
Maybe we can start our own thing, the ceremonial firework or something. Multi-entendre for the win!
I am not jumping the broom. Neither of us really want a traditional or cultural ceremony, just short and sweet. I'm getting married outside too. I think its nice for those who want to bring in that heritage it's just not for us.
We're jumping the broom, but I'm so afraid of jumping in heels. I think we will lay out the broom and I will kind of "leap" over it, like a little jumping step, rather than the "hop" I see people do. Ha! I wonder if it really counts if you "step the broom" instead of jumping it!
@jamaicanbride: i'm black too :D... M said he'd never heard of anyone not getting married in a church and that's just not my thing honestly. i am not overly religious although i am spiritual and he is spiritual as well, i just don't get him sometimes, but i really want to rent out the bed and breakfast (i just when i knew he would be proposing lol so i can finalize things!!)
@surkim: i am not into the joining unity candle thingie as well, but with our kids I wanted to include them and since they are always pouring something lol i thought this was a great way. but i want fireworks too!! lol!!!
@morgan:i'm so glad to see that not everyone is doing it. i think it has become more expected and more of a oh wow why aren't you jumping the broom, instead of oh cool she's doing xyz and didn't make us stay in church for 16 hours.
@mitla: girl, if i am forced my my wonderful bf, and he is adamant about it, i will politely remove my shoes jump over it, put my shoes back on and walk. i mean can you imagine falling?! cursed for life!!!
@crebre80....I have friends that jumped the broom and most of them have gone all out. One couple in particular made their own broom to jump and have it hanging over their mantle.
If your sweetie has his heart set on it...you have the right idea...pass that bouquet to your MOH so that you can take off those shoes and jump that broom..=) I must say if my FI really wanted me to, I would do it...a lot of people don't feel like the wedding is complete without it.
My FI's dad is a preacher so he just assumed I wanted a church wedding. I told him that I want to get married in the same "church" that Jesus preached...OUTSIDE =) I consider myself to be very spiritual/religious...I just feel that God is in every living thing and not necessarily in a bldg.
Whatever you guys decide to do...make sure it is pleasing to both of you =)
@crebre...I don't have any red, now that I think about it. Maybe I will find something small to do...
@jamaicabride: my dad is a preacher and granddad, etc... i just don't know if i'll be that sentimental about the broom.. lol but of course i don't want the unity candle, the sand, the liquid that we are pouring will be tossed out after the ceremony.. the most important thing to us is our family. but of course i am that person who wouldn't mind dropping a few thousand on pictures and not think twice about it. so to each his or her own. however, i'd severely cut my dress budget to do so, it's all about what's most important to the couple.
I love these traditions! We really don't have any of our own, but my FI is Italian, so we are having an Italian Sweets Table at our reception in addition to our cake.
FI has Japanese heritage: his grandmother is Japanese, his grandfather is American and they met, married and had their children in Japan before moving to the US, so we're doing a sake ceremony during our wedding ceremony with his grandfather officiating and his grandmother pouring. He has Japanese relatives making the trip for the wedding and we wanted to add some of their culture and heritage into our ceremony. We're also having an Irish blessing read to honor my grandfather.
@krissycake: how about red undies, or red lipstick? you could even carry a red hankie with you
@mrs.louboutin: i love the italian sweets table! omg can i come?!
I've never heard of jumping the broom... what is the significance there? Never heard of the tasting either, that is kind of cool!
As for us... we will probably not be getting married in a church. I don't care much one way or the other but FI doesn't want to because he thinks organized religion is oppressive. I don't want to tell my parents it is him that doesn't want a church ceremony (we're doing a united front on all decisions for both of our families), so I phrased it this way: I have no real connection to the church I grew up in anymore... haven't been there in 10 years, the congregation has changed, the pastor has changed, and the building has changed. Plus it is nowhere near a reception venue. As for other churches, it seems a little disrespectful to go knock on the door of a house of God and ask to get married there just because it is pretty. I'd rather get married in another place that means something to us by my aunt (who is a pastor).
Mom isn't happy... but she is dealing.
As for other traditions, I don't know. Don't love the unity candle thing or the sand ceremony... I have seen once a wedding where the two mothers come up and tie a long ribbon to an iron post thing and then the couple literally ties a knot. Then they hang it in their home and tie another knot on each anniversary. I'll probably be doing some more research on traditions later.
Jumping the Broom History
This is a ceremony dating back to the 1600s and derived from Africa. Dating back to slave days, jumping the broom together has been part of weddings for couples who want to honor that tradition. It also has roots in the Celtic culture and including but not limited to Welsh, Celtics, Druids, and Gypsies and some aboriginal or shamanistic cultures.
Some couples choose to incorporate it into traditional and non-traditional ceremonies. Broom jumping is a brief ceremony usually within the wedding ceremony toward the end. The jumping of the broom is symbolic of binding a couple in marriage and also can be used to symbolize fertility and prosperity of the couple.
• • •
The "Jumping the Broom" is a ceremony in which the bride and groom, either at the ceremony or at the reception, signify their entrance into a new life and their creation of a new family by symbolically "sweeping away" their former single lives, former problems and concerns, and jumping over the broom to enter upon a new adventure as wife and husband.
Jumping the broom or in some cases jumping over an imaginary line is an African ritual, or tradition still being practiced in some parts of West Africa. Jumping the broom is not associated with slavery. Enslaved Africans, as an affirmation of their cultural heritage practiced it during slavery in North America.
This "leap" into a new life (marriage as wife and husband is performed in the presence of families and friends. You can be as creative as you want when planning for this special ceremony.
The broom has both symbolic and spiritual importance in the African culture. The ritual itself was created by our ancestors during slavery. Because slaves could not legally marry, they created their own rituals to honor their unions. Some say broom jumping comes from an African tribal marriage ritual of placing sticks on the ground representing the couple's new home.
The straws of the broom represent family; the handle represents the Almighty; the ribbon represents the tie that binds the couple together.
A fully decorated broom can be purchased at ethnic stores, online, or a regular household broom will suffice. If you decide to use your own broom and decorate it yourself, be sure it coordinates with your wedding colors. Using your own broom can also be a great bonding activity for the bridesmaids, perhaps the night, or week before the wedding.
Another idea is to have a basket full of colorful ribbon pieces at the wedding or reception and allow guests to tie ribbons around the broom before the ceremony begins. This allows the audience to participate, which is in keeping with the African tradition of community involvement.
Chose a time before the ceremony when each guest can write their name or initials on a ribbon and tie their ribbon on the wedding broom. When you jump the broom you'll be jumping with the good wishes and prayers of all of your guest. It also allows you to have a wonderful keepsake after your special day, remembering those that were there to witness it.
At the conclusion of the ceremony, after the kiss and presentation of the couple to their guests, one of the attendants produces the broom or a special person from the audience brings the broom and places it in the path of the wedding couple. They then jump over the broom on their way to the recessional.
The broom used in the wedding ceremony has often been a beautifully hand made broom containing objects meaningful to the couple that they then keep as a momento of their wedding day and to grace the newlyweds hearth or hallway.
Couples celebrate this rich cultural heritage, irrespective of race, religion, and nationality. The most important thing is it's significance;
This ceremony can also be performed at an anniversary or a renewing of vows ceremony.
We haven't decided yet. We've been talking about weddings like crazy, even though we're not officially engaged. We both know we're the one for each other. We're just trying to get through this first year of our relationship and to be certain and not to surprise our families with what they'll consider, "too soon." We even catch ourselves saying, "Wow. Isn't it too soon for us to feel this way about one another." We're older than most of you ladies and both of us have been married before. So, this will be an encore wedding for us. I didn't jump the broom the first time and I really wanted to. But my starter husband was sooo against it and really didn't want to incorporate anything cultural into our wedding, no matter how much I wanted it.
Long story short; I think we're likely going to include jumping the broom. Too soon to say though. We have our date picked out 9/10/11. We're geeks! LOL!!
congrats on picking your date!!! i am in waiting as well (no date picked or anything like that, just waiting on the proposal). i am also one of the older bees on the board (29) but you're going to love it here!!!! it's so much fun sharing ideas etc
I definitely want to jump the broom! I just heard about the tasting of the elements and i would love to do that as well. We'll see what happens though because my fiance is Indian and I know there's a lot of traditional things he would like to do as well. So we'll see what we can mix and match to make our wedding significant for both of us.
@meela: i think that the Indian culture may have something very similar? I'm not too sure but I know there is an Indian bee and a few other Indian brides who may be able to assist you. Are you doing henna? i would LOVE to have henna done, i think the reasoning behind it is such a beautiful tradition. btw as long as M doesn't see this, i think that Indian men are the sexiest men I have ever seen. There was this guy who came into the hobby store where i worked and omg i was swooning and he was sooo handsome... whew... but we had a tad bit in common (i was a biomedical engineering major in college for a while and took drafting classes in high school and he had a drafting pad and an engineer's notebook so we chatted about it)... he was so cute buying things for his wife who he said was pregnant... sigh... okay enough about Indian guys back to your normally scheduled program.
@Diva, yes... the second finest man I've ever seen in my life was Indian. I had a crush on him until I met the Mister. Mister is hands down the finest man I've EVA, EVA, EVA seen. LOL!!! But, yes, Indian men are hands down super fine. Especially the tall ones.
LOL ladies! I love my Indian man lol. Soooo excited for the wedding! I'm definitely doing the henna. It's so beautiful. I had it done for our engagement party. It's a long process and it feels like it takes forever to dry but it's so beautiful. I wish I could get it done all the time haha. I'm almost certain that we'll be able to blend in the tasting of the elements traditions. My fiance said that it's traditional for the bride and groom to be fed something sweet as a way of wishing them a sweet marriage so it seems like it would fit right in! We shall see though :)
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