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I don't think you have to have a first dance if you don't want to. We didn't have a bouquet or garter toss even though it's "traditional." Do what you want and what makes you comfortable, and I'm sure your guests will be fine with your decision!
We will be doing the first dance, but like Mrs. Spring, we will most likely skip the bouquet/garter toss - just a personal preference. If you don't feel comfortable having a first dance, don't feel obligated to do so!
If you don't want to do it, then don't do it! One thing you might want to consider is that the dance floor is normally opened by the bride and groom--which means you might just want to ask your DJ to make an announcement that the dance floor is open and put some of your dancing-loving friends on the job of making sure that other people know they can dance.
You don't have to do a first dance. For me, it's a special moment. I am a crappy dancer, he is a crappy dancer. And I am looking forward to my first dance like nothing else. I love music, and I want to have that moment where we get to hold each other close for 3 straight minutes and look into each others' eyes and cry and smile and smile and cry and squeeeeeeze.
BUT. That is me. If you do not want a first dance, you do NOT have to have one. You may want to let other people know not to expect one, though.
Like everyone keeps saying, you can do whatever you want. We didn't have a first dance, but then again we didn't have dancing at all!
People will go with the flow if it's clear what should be done.
What about starting your first dance by yourself, but letting everyone else join in soon after (even if it's 10 seconds after)? Or having the first dance be open to all family members? The dj could say something about how important it is for couples to have the support of their friends and family, or the joining of families or something when announcing that the first dance won't be just the bride & groom dancing alone on the dance floor.
There's always the option of doing a non-traditional first dance. An old school minuet might be easier--you might be able to find someone from a historical society who could teach you, or you might be able to rent movies that have those sorts of dances in them. Or there's always silly options, like the hokey pokey. 
I don't think it will throw off the flow, but it may be a little odd if you have a dance floor and aren't on it.
The other thing you could do is start the 'first dance' and then QUICKLY invite the bridal party up.. .and then QUICKLY after that have the DJ invite everyone to dance. So, by the time you are just a little bit into the song, you have a filled dance floor and you don't have to worry about feeling awkward or not knowing what to do.
Fi begged me not to make him do a first dance. We are having a cocktail reception so no dancing for us full stop. When we get back to the hotel (which looks over the city) after we are going to put on some music and have a private first dance. I can't wait.
We are skipping the first dance. It makes me cringe to think of dancing in front of 200 of our family and friends - so scary! I will have to handle all the attention during the ceremony, but the first dance cuts out some awkward moments for me :)
I wish we were skipping the first dance because I REALLY hate slow dancing awkwardly in front people. Oy! Prom all over again, right? But my FI really wanted to do it for some reason, and bribed me by letting us use my favorite Otis Redding song of all time, so yeah, we're doing it.
As a guest, I totally wouldn't miss the first dance. If neither of you wants to do it, just don't. There will always be someone in the crowd that will wonder why you're not doing it, but for the most part, it's just one less thing guests will have to sit through :)
you should think about doing it - if just to have a moment of quiet sanity before going through the room and talking to 50 billion people. Even if you just sway like a middle schooler, that is 3 minutes you will have to yourself and some nice pics to remember.
As others have suggested, you could do the first dance and invite others to join you early on. I was super-nervous about having a first dance (we are not great dancers) and I didn't decide to do it until the night before, but I'm really glad we did it.
You don't have to do anything you don't want to do! You can still have the DJ introduce you, and then say somehting like "the dance floor is now open!" or something so people know not to wait for the first dance.
Just think about whether this might be something you will regret not doing. It sounds like you really don't want to, and I think that's just fine.
I voted yes ... but here's the thing ... we'll do some sort of "first dance" just none of the stuffy-slow dancing with everyone awkwardly watching thing. It's just not us. We're both very comfortable on the dance floor - but neither of us like the idea of the "typical" first dance. I don't think it's a big deal - as a guest I'd probably appreciate a lack of "first dance awkwardness" most of the time!
We are having a brunch reception in our church social hall-so dancing is not an option for us. If we were having an evening reception with dancing, I was SO looking forward to a dance for the two of us, and then my twins "cutting in"-my daughter with FI and me with my son. They are about to be 6, so that would have been the neatest thing.
FI and I have never been dancing together (the club scene is a bit young for us and we were never really clubbers anyway when we were of age) but he dances with me all the time-in the dark in the living room after the twins are in bed, in the kitchen singing goofy love songs, with my daughter standing on his toes...and he is promising some romantic slow dances on our honeymoon at one of the restaurants we are going to and in our cabin in front of a roaring fire. Hummm....I think I'll wear the red lingerie for that one! :)
We are skipping all the usual special dances and instead just having one - to honor my parent's 50th wedding anniversary which is in January.
My hubby and I like to dance (well more me than him) but to fast, upbeat music. We didn't have time to take lessons or anything so I knew we were going to do the junior high school dance wobble (you know, the whole spin in small circles while moving one foot at a time and than shifting your weight to the other?) Plus we really don't like being the center of attention. I knew it was going to be painful. Well... it was worse than I imagined!! We got up there and the song just seemed to take FOREVER!! Omg, I tried carrying on a conversation with him to pass the time but if just seemed never ending. Everyone was just dead silent staring at us. We started to freak and so my hubby goes "on the count of three, let's give everyone a thumbs up sign" I told him I didn't want to do it (it was painful enough) but he started counting "1... 2..." I couldn't leave him hanging by himself so when he said three, we flashed the thumbs up sign and I said "don't worry, it's going well I think!" to try and lighten the mood but everyone just still stood there and stared at us in silence. At one point, the song hit a slow part and a few people thought it was over and started clapping and when they realized the song was still going you heard this collective "oohh" mumbled throughout the crowd. We finally wobbled over to the DJ and I told him to just cut the thing early.
I could have died. Looking back I'd never have done it. We're not first dance kind of people and it would have saved us the awkwardness.
I don't want to, but we probably will cause the parents would be all up in arms if we didn't!!! Plus first dance pictures are always so, so cute!
I voted No. This is actually the only dance we are doing - no father/daughter, no mother/son, etc... We decided that for various reasons. The first being that FI's parents have both passed away and even though he could dance with his sisters, there are 4 of them and that would be hard to coordinate. My dad and i did our dance at my first wedding and have great pics, but it's hard for him b/c he had polio as a child. Since FI wouldn't be dancing with his side, we just ditched the whole thing...
SO we will be doing the middle school sway - being completely freaked out that everyone is staring, but doing it anyway. :) In th end I think you should do whatever you want. It's your wedding!
@liz I think we're doing just about the same thing... My kids are 7 and 8 (twins the hard way, lol) and will be almost 9 and 10 when we get married. Our song is "I'd Love to be Your Last" by Clay Walker. Also the song he and the kids played when he proposed.
I wish we were skipping it! Our parents would come after us with torches and pitchforks if we didn't though. It's apparently that important. haha.
You could do it privately somewhere. That is if you want to dance but not have others watching. I went to a friend's wedding in HI last year and they had their first dance right on the beach after everyone left the ceremony.
But if not I don't think it's weird to not have the first dance. I've noticed that alot don't even pay attention to it anyway.
We're not doing a first dance - that is, if we can get away with it (my family at least are very big dancers - I'm hoping to pull the "But Mom you didn't have a first dance" card if it comes down to it). But really, it's fine. However we are having dance lessons and a first dance song set aside just in case. We're having an afternoon canapes and cocktails reception at a pub so we think that the lack of space combined with the early afternoon timing of us arriving at the reception and the lack of a sit down formal meal will mean we can get away with it.
Look at some dance lessons on the internet (YouTube have some good how-to videos) and pick a song and wait and see. If people insist that you have to have one then choose then to do it or not - but really it's totally your choice and nobody can begrudge you that.
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My FI and I are not comfortable on the dance floor - whether it's to fast music, or to slow music, we're both very self conscious about it. And quite frankly I don't want to spend money on dance lessons. Is this something that people have come to expect at a wedding and would it throw things out of wack if we didn't have one? Is there a significance to a first dance other than just it being a great photo op? We are having a mixed Christian-Hindu wedding, if that makes any difference.