Post # 1
My Fiance and I are not comfortable on the dance floor – whether it’s to fast music, or to slow music, we’re both very self conscious about it. And quite frankly I don’t want to spend money on dance lessons. Is this something that people have come to expect at a wedding and would it throw things out of wack if we didn’t have one? Is there a significance to a first dance other than just it being a great photo op? We are having a mixed Christian-Hindu wedding, if that makes any difference.
Post # 3
I don’t think you have to have a first dance if you don’t want to. We didn’t have a bouquet or garter toss even though it’s "traditional." Do what you want and what makes you comfortable, and I’m sure your guests will be fine with your decision!
Post # 4
- Wedding: May 2010 - The Pierre Hotel
We will be doing the first dance, but like Mrs. Spring, we will most likely skip the bouquet/garter toss – just a personal preference. If you don’t feel comfortable having a first dance, don’t feel obligated to do so!
Post # 5
If you don’t want to do it, then don’t do it! One thing you might want to consider is that the dance floor is normally opened by the bride and groom–which means you might just want to ask your DJ to make an announcement that the dance floor is open and put some of your dancing-loving friends on the job of making sure that other people know they can dance.
Post # 6
You don’t have to do a first dance. For me, it’s a special moment. I am a crappy dancer, he is a crappy dancer. And I am looking forward to my first dance like nothing else. I love music, and I want to have that moment where we get to hold each other close for 3 straight minutes and look into each others’ eyes and cry and smile and smile and cry and squeeeeeeze.
BUT. That is me. If you do not want a first dance, you do NOT have to have one. You may want to let other people know not to expect one, though.
Post # 7
Like everyone keeps saying, you can do whatever you want. We didn’t have a first dance, but then again we didn’t have dancing at all!
People will go with the flow if it’s clear what should be done.
Post # 8
What about starting your first dance by yourself, but letting everyone else join in soon after (even if it’s 10 seconds after)? Or having the first dance be open to all family members? The dj could say something about how important it is for couples to have the support of their friends and family, or the joining of families or something when announcing that the first dance won’t be just the bride & groom dancing alone on the dance floor.
There’s always the option of doing a non-traditional first dance. An old school minuet might be easier–you might be able to find someone from a historical society who could teach you, or you might be able to rent movies that have those sorts of dances in them. Or there’s always silly options, like the hokey pokey.
Post # 9
I don’t think it will throw off the flow, but it may be a little odd if you have a dance floor and aren’t on it.
The other thing you could do is start the ‘first dance’ and then QUICKLY invite the bridal party up.. .and then QUICKLY after that have the DJ invite everyone to dance. So, by the time you are just a little bit into the song, you have a filled dance floor and you don’t have to worry about feeling awkward or not knowing what to do.
Post # 10
I really don’t want to do one. I hate people staring at me!!!
Post # 11
Fi begged me not to make him do a first dance. We are having a cocktail reception so no dancing for us full stop. When we get back to the hotel (which looks over the city) after we are going to put on some music and have a private first dance. I can’t wait.
Post # 12
We are skipping the first dance. It makes me cringe to think of dancing in front of 200 of our family and friends – so scary! I will have to handle all the attention during the ceremony, but the first dance cuts out some awkward moments for me 🙂
Post # 13
I wish we were skipping the first dance because I REALLY hate slow dancing awkwardly in front people. Oy! Prom all over again, right? But my Fiance really wanted to do it for some reason, and bribed me by letting us use my favorite Otis Redding song of all time, so yeah, we’re doing it.
As a guest, I totally wouldn’t miss the first dance. If neither of you wants to do it, just don’t. There will always be someone in the crowd that will wonder why you’re not doing it, but for the most part, it’s just one less thing guests will have to sit through 🙂
Post # 14
you should think about doing it – if just to have a moment of quiet sanity before going through the room and talking to 50 billion people. Even if you just sway like a middle schooler, that is 3 minutes you will have to yourself and some nice pics to remember.
Post # 15
As others have suggested, you could do the first dance and invite others to join you early on. I was super-nervous about having a first dance (we are not great dancers) and I didn’t decide to do it until the night before, but I’m really glad we did it.
Post # 16
You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do! You can still have the DJ introduce you, and then say somehting like “the dance floor is now open!” or something so people know not to wait for the first dance.
Just think about whether this might be something you will regret not doing. It sounds like you really don’t want to, and I think that’s just fine.