Post # 1
Some comments on the Bee have me totally terrified of having a baby. Will I really not have time to take a shower or remove my nail polish? Will I really have to stay at home in sweats for weeks? Does my husband have to stay at home with me? Will I not be able to do my hair or put on makeup?
I am very far off from having kids, but all this is overwhelming and frankly quite scary! Are there any Bees out there who had good post-partum experiences?
Post # 3
@ladychatterley: I’m due with my first baby in a couple weeks and would love to hear people’s responses, too. I very well may be in the ignorant-because-I-haven’t-had-the-experience camp, but I don’t understand why some people say about how they’re so overwhelmed because they can’t even take a shower and it’s killing them – I’ve heard this from dozens of FTMs it seems. And I just don’t get it. Even if the baby cries, why can’t you just take them in the bathroom with you and let them cry for 5 minutes while you wash your hair? I’m sure it’ll become clear to me very soon, but, for now, I’m clueless 😛
Post # 4
I’m 5 weeks pp and I’ve definitely had time to shower, but not until my DH is home from work and I’ve timed it right between feedings, so usually it’s like 11:30pm but I still get one. I’ve done my nails too, first coat.. let it dry, do a feeding, do the second coat haha. And I wear makeup every time I leave the house which has been frequently.
It’s not the worst, but it definitely takes some time and planning to get out of the house. Some days it’s harder than others, but you just need to break up your tasks if baby is fussy like brush your teeth, comfort baby, do some makeup, give baby soother back, finish makeup, make sure baby swing is still going, get dressed, feed baby.. etc.. Unless you’re lucky that baby is sleeping at the time you need to get ready and then you’re good.
They aren’t lying though, I’ve breastfed at my kitchen table while eating dinner before, don’t get out of my sweats/nursing top some days, and lots of things I’d like to do (take a nice looong bath) get cut short because baby needs to eat. It’s all worth it though 🙂
Post # 5
I’m about to hit 4 months, so obviously don’t have the experience yet. But I am goingto assume that being a new mom is hard, not bad. You will have short periods of down time if you have a good baby that likes to sleep 🙂
Post # 6
@ZombieBullfrogHoller: I don’t get it either! lol. I feel bad because I have never experienced it and I know I shouldn’t judge, but I can’t imagine not doing my makeup or not leaving the house for weeks. I feel like I’d just bring the baby into the bathroom with me and let them cry for 5 minutes while I take a shower. Maybe that means I’m not going to be a very devoted mother or something. lol
Post # 7
@ladychatterley: I had a C-section each time, went home from hospital after about 5 days, and was getting around (including going out occasionally) at 2-3 weeks post partum. (E.g. church each week; occasional visits to relatives). Each time someone (either DH or a relative) was home to help for the first week or two I was home. After that he was back at work and I was managing. But yeah I was in sweats or whatever clothes fitted. I did my hair and always had time to shower. I didn’t bother with makeup though!
Post # 8
@ladychatterley: My Fisher Price infant to toddler rocker was a life saver for being able to take a shower. I jusf took it into the bathroom with me. I actually think it’s more difficult when the baby is mobile. Then they really need to be supervised every second
Post # 9
@ladychatterley: I don’t have children but every mom I’ve talked to has mentioned these things BUT I see it in the same way that people who complain about their husbands/boyfriends or those people who respond with “Don’t do it!” when you say you’re getting married. It’s a way of making conversation amongst mothers, most of these women would come into the office and give a big sigh then tell me to never have kids – they didn’t mean it because 20 minutes later they’d show me a video of their daughter singing the alphabet.
Unless you’re going to do it all by yourself you’ll have a husband to watch the baby when you need to do anything like take a shower, paint your nails etc and vice versa.
Post # 10
@ladychatterley: It’s not that you’ll never have time for that stuff. Some women continue to do it every day. It’s that sometimes you truly will not have the time for it and other times you just lose the inclination. If it’s really important to you I’m sure you’ll make time for it. I never bother to put on make-up when I’m not leaving the house just because I don’t see the point. I have better things to do. But that’s just me. Having children is a big responsibility and you do have to alter your priorities somewhat. You have to realize that even leaving the house for a shopping trip is going to more time consuming just for getting the child ready, getting a diaper bag ready, getting the child in the car, etc., plus your regular getting you ready. Even now that my kids are older (youngest is 6) I only take them to the store if I don’t have any other choice because everything takes 5 times longer with them and they’re not even toddlers.
@ladychatterley: It may be a different story once you have to listen to that baby scream for 5 minutes (5 mins. is pretty short for a shower, unless you have no hair). Some babies scream so hard they don’t breathe for almost a minute. It’s scary. I would just wait for a shower until the baby is napping.
Post # 11
@chouette: I have noticed that the women in my life who complain a LOT about having kids are the same ones who complain a LOT about being married/in a relationship. So maybe it’s just something that varies from person to person, or like you said, it’s a way mothers/wives talk to each other.
Post # 12
Once you have kids your life is not your own. I would never in a million years trade my kids ( 4 to be exact) but life is different. Yes I took a shower. Yes I put on make up. Yes I left the house. But life is a little more complicated with children but much more fun.
Post # 13
@ladychatterley: I’m not sure why but this really made me laugh. I’m 7 months along and I guess I’ll find out soon!
Post # 14
@Mdmc: That is good to hear. I work with kids, I’m a teacher, and I can’t wait to have a family. I think my life will be fuller and more fun, even though it will be a challenge at times. I think it just freaks me out to hear that I will have to give up being myself and looking like myself and all that. I am prepared to make large sacrifices for my kids, but not prepared to sacrifice showering daily and being a hot mama. lol
Post # 15
No it’s not that bad, but it does depend on the child too. My first son was a breeze and I would shower and put on some makeup everyday. I managed to do most things without much problems. I think if you really put your mind to it you just make it work.
Post # 16
The first couple weeks I was extremely exhausted, but my SO was working a nightshift and had just landed a day job as well, I didn’t have anyone else to help me, I had a long recovery time, and my baby was one grumpy breastfeeder. I would still shower though either while my daughter slept or I would put her in a swing/bouncer/jumper in the hall and leave the bathroom door open where I could see her.
I couldn’t bring myself to care about my nails or hair or makeup when going out, I figured people would see the baby and not judge my powder-less face 😉
I think it’s mostly about making time for yourself, and it took me a while to figure out how important “Me Time” is, which I think made things feel a little harder than they would have if I dedicated some time to pampering myself. Sometimes it’s hard to feel motivated to do that, though, but in retrospect, super important.