Post # 1
I’m so blessed to work in a department of my company with REAL people. People who work hard, respect each other and see everyone as equals. That mentality is not across the board for my company, though. Not in the least. I’m surprised anyone can even get through the door with their egos most days. They’re all so smug and unnecessarily condescending that it makes me sick. I just got an email demanding something of me and the task itself was not the problem, it’s totally doable, but the way I was addressed just set me off. “Could you please…” instead of “We need…I have to have…where’s my…” gets you much further with me and in life.
I know I’m probably going to get shredded and told to put on my big girl panties and “maybe a corporate office isn’t for you”. That’s fine. All I’m saying is it’s sad that that mentality exists. You can the same results by being polite, you know? I will bend over backwards for you if your opening line is, “I’d appreciate it if…” But when I get “I need…” without so much as a hello? You’re lucky if you even get a response.
And just to clarify, it’s not like I’m an ER doctor and people are yelling orders over each other to save someone’s life lol. People have an opportunity to be respectful in my workplace, they just choose not to.
Post # 2
BurlapnLace: I get prefacing things in nice ways and how it can get you better results depending on the person. However, it does seem more efficient to be direct and state the need instead of using flowery language. I do always say please and thank you but sometimes it really is an “I need…” kind of situation.
I try really hard not to use “could” too because that gives an option. I use “would you please…” because I’m trying to tell you nicely to execute something.
Post # 3
I don’t think I’ve ever experienced a situation like this in any of the offices I’ve been in. Email taskings always started with, “Hey Jiminy, Could you do..” or “What’s the status on X project?” Sorry you’re facing some rudeness!
Post # 4
Ha, ha, ha, yup. You can comfort yourself with the fact that your emotional intelligence and social maturity exceeds that of the sender and that you will get farther in life and in Corporate America as a result.
Post # 5
The norm in your company =/= the norm in Corporate America.
Post # 6
LilRhodyGem: True! And good call on “could”. A direct example that pissed me off was this coworker who walked into my office – who is not at all a superior – doesn’t even so much as say hi and goes, “Am I going to get this today?” I just looked at her and furrowed my brow. Seriously?? That’s just one example, but it goes on all day. #SICKOFIT
Post # 7
i’m lucky to work in an office environment right now that is extremely polite and close–i work in an academic office so i LOVE my coworkers and bosses and my students too (though thankfully they don’t email me). lol
but before this i worked for a fortune 500 company full of engineers. they weren’t trying to save lives either but to them it was more efficient to send a quick email that said “i need the balance on work order 1234 asap” than it was to type “hi, when you get a chance can you please give me the balance on work order 1234 as soon as you can? thanks so much.”
i don’t think it’s their intent to be rude. they’re just trying to cut out time spend emailing i would bet. don’t take it too personally, or too seriously. 🙂
Post # 8
BurlapnLace: “Am I going to get this today?” Yeah, that would get under my skin too. Like, who the heck are you??
Post # 9
Horseradish: Then maybe it’s a regional thing b/c everyone I know has the same issues and we work in all different professions. IT, finance, advertising, marketing, medical services, etc.
Post # 10
Look at the difference between these two statements:
I think you’re being too sensitive.
You’re being too sensitive.
They convey the exact same information, but one is “nicer” because being direct isn’t seen as “nice”. You are being slightly sensitive, though. Not too sensitive.
Post # 11
MrsHalpert: +1 — some people just write emails this way and think nothing of it! My DH is in the Army, and it got to the point where I had to proofread any non-work-related emails he wanted to send out because if I didn’t, they’d read like “Are you available for dinner at our house on Saturday. 6PM, address is ____. Wife will be making chicken.”
I always try to give people the benefit of the doubt when email is involved, since it’s so hard to tell the difference between “terse asshole” and “efficient professional.” But if they’re dickish in person? Oh hell naw.
Post # 12
BurlapnLace: I work in a development consulting office and we work with other consultants all the time who have different specialties. We often have to coordinate drawings and things between companies. I always try to remain recpectful with them and generally they treat me in kind. It doesn’t always happen, and honestly – if you’re a jerk when you ask, you’re going ot wait longer than if you’re nice!
Post # 13
Eh, email in the office is just a quick way to get info across. I wouldn’t worry about it.
Post # 14
BurlapnLace: Not the norm. I work for a huge international corporation and if I were sending out emails with that tone, someone would’ve already had a conversation with me about it.
Post # 15
Being rude in general in america is the norm, no matter how nice you are or professional or accommodating you are! People are just jaded and mean and don’t have a filter or manners. I’ve known people where it’s just their personality to be rude and obnoxious. They don’t even know they are doing it!
My advice is to not let it change who you are.