Here is some more information for you to give better advice and thank you so much in advance because this is tearing my insides apart…
To first answer you question about ages – I am 32 and she is 25.
We have been together almost a year and met last year in July. We had our first date in July and started dating after that. In September, I took her home to meet my family and from then, I knew that I wanted to be with her. For me, that was bigtime because she met my parents and my grandpa. Those are probably three of the most important people in my life. Similar to the cliche’, you only take who your serious about home to meet Mom 🙂 Prior, to this I met her parents as well and we hit it off on great terms.
To give you some background on her, she was engaged very young and on her wedding day, the groom walked out on her about five hours before walking down the aisle. Needless to say, I have had to deal with that and believe me its hard because I pay for what that person did. When I say I pay for what he did, she frequently had the “I don’t care” attitude and never was able to be vulnerable. Needless to say, the wall around her heart has always been high and strong.
I late November and early December, this attitude became to much to deal with and I left the relationship because it was just too hard. When someone cheats on you, its easier because you can tell yourself after the pain goes away that hey, ok fine someone out there in this huge world is better than me. But when someone acts like they just don’t care, that’s harder because there is nobody else and that person plain and simple just doesn’t care. I understand completely why she does it, too defend herself but it still hurt.
I left the relationship and about one month later, I seen her while I was working. I left the relationship but I missed her terribly and thought about her daily. When I seen her, I couldn’t help myself and I sent her a messaage just saying that I seen her and I hope life is treating her well. I told myself before I sent the message that if I get Hey, I’m fine then I knew she was over it and I would leave her alone. I got a message that was a novel and from that point on, we started talking again.
We got back together shortly thereafter and almost immediately she started talking about serious stuff like rings and buying a house together. What was huge for me was that before she could never mention anything about us and anything about the future but now it was easy for her. I would always get pictures of rings sent to my phone but the two things I wanted to hear did not come until she was leaving. I wanted to hear I love you and also to hear how much this relationship mattered to hear – basically to see her vulnerability. Most importantly, I have always believed that how are you supposed to say i do when you cant say I love you??
I thought I had seen the last of the attitude but it came back and maybe it came back because I didn’t get the ring. I have no idea? Again, it was too hard for me to deal with and I recently left the relationship again. Shortly thereafter, I realized that my life without her is not complete. I know it seems elementary but it is what it is. She first wanted to meet face to face to tell me what the end of my first post said but she ended up sending a message and wouldnt answer my phone calls. I was forced to reply with a message as well.
MY question to you all???
I was told by her that she shouldnt have to tell me to take a chance and purchase the ring. She said when you know you know. She said that I was the guy she wanted to start everything with and because I hadnt made the move, it was time for her to go. I told her that I wanted everything that she wanted and I told her what I had been waiting for. It was no use and she was also upset at me leaving and said that someone should stay no matter what – good or bad. I agree 100% and told her that I would be there regardless despite my track record… I haven’t heard anything back…
My question to you all is when you tell your guy Hey! this is what I want and he is willing to give it after you said, do you leave??? Does it really matter when you love someone whether you have to tell them or not??
Alll I want to know is do you think she contacts me again? I said what I have to say and that’s all I can really do. Some people have said buy a ring and go and propose. I don’t live in Hollywood and I believe this has to be discussed face to face but she has to want to first and I have heard nothing back so I wait but at the same time try and move on…. I am lost
Thank you so much for your advice and I know this relationship seems like it needs a lot of communication and I agree but do you think she contacts me again or is she done for good? Because I believe any form of contact from her will be a sign that she wants to work this out. Am I wrong????