Post # 1
So me and FIare trying to decide wether we want a wedding or to elope.
We are from different countries (US and EU) and would have many guests coming from abroad (US,UK,Australia,Denmark…).
A lot of our friends are young so I’m not sure they would have the money and time off to travel for the wedding which would definitely put a damper on things for us.
Also weddings here are very expensive (and avergae wedding will cost about 20 thousand euros) and I feel bad making my parentsspend that type of money on one day.
Also FI’s sister just announced her pregnancy and would have a 6 month baby by the time of the wedding. Me and FI don’t want children at the wedding (if we haveone) although we haven’t told anyone yet andI think this may mean his sister wouldn’t come, which he doesn’t care about but I wouldn’t want it to create a rift in the family. And no we don’t want to make an exception for her baby because then we would have to make an exception for every child and we reallydon’t want that.
So we are considering eloping. Does anyone have any regrets about eloping? Were your families upset that they weren’t there?
Post # 3
@walnutgirl: We had a private wedding with two witnesses in the gorgeous location of our choosing. Families were happy (to my guess) with this because they got out of having to travel and use their precious vacation time. I think we did them a favor! Weddings are generally a pain in the ass for other people involved. That is my conclusion and what I was taught my entire life – “Elope and do everyone a favor.”
Post # 4
It does sound like eloping is a good option for you! Go, have your dream private wedding and spend the money to hit each of the countries your friends/family live in to see them/have dinner with them. (doesn’t have to be in one trip or even in one year).
Post # 5
Schatzie821 brings up a good point – you can use the money you saved to go visit people. We did this. We have seen almost everyone so far (that’s about 8 states).
Post # 6
@sienna76: That is a good point! I just feel like our families would be upset about not participating in our wedding.
Post # 7
A private wedding does sound like a good option for you.
I’ve never thought about using the money left over from the private wedding to visit the friends and family in all of those different countries the way Schatzie821 suggested, but it really is a great idea.
If you want your family involved, maybe you and your fiancée could find a way to stream the wedding live so that they’re still able to see it as it happens.
Post # 8
It would probably be best to find out how your parents feel before making a deciscion, you are their daughter so by tradition it would be their wedding too (as hosts), if they’re happy then I think a private wedding would be delightful and I love @Schatzie821: ‘s suggestion of doing a post-wedding friend tour 🙂
Post # 9
@walnutgirl: Well just ask them so you know what they are feeling for sure. Maybe they would like to be there in theory, but toally agree it would be a huge PITA and too expensive.
And if you’re thinking of a no child wedding when people are flying across the ocean to go to your wedding, you might want to reconsider that option or else you’ll have a lot of ticked off people. People typically don’t go on huge flights without their kids. I say this even as a childfree woman. That’s just asking a lot.
I say elope!
Post # 10
I still wish FI would be ok with eloping, I am enjoying planning our large downtown wedding but eloping was always my dream!
Post # 12
@sienna76: the only people with children who would have to travel would be his sister. All the other people with children live here except one of my cousins, but they live a two hour flight away and have already gone on holidays without the children on other occasions so i wouldn’t see how this would be different.
I agree with you if a lot of people with children were travelling it would be different. Butit’s only FI’s sister.
Post # 13
@mrsgroomzilla: See my idea of eloping is more, wedon’t tell anyone, go on holiday and get married. That’s I think how I imagine it.
But i love the friend’s tour idea!