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I see frequently on these boards women proclaming a distane towards getting a "used ring." Where I live, it's not uncommon at all to buy a ring from a pawn shop, antique shop, or even Craigslist/Ebay. It just seems to make SO much more sence financially. My FH bought my ring from a very reputable pawn shop (then had it appraised as well) and I am SO happy that he did! In fact, after the ring shock wore off when I saw my e-ring, I told him "please tell me you didn't buy this at a jewelry store!" He saved a considerable ammount of money (like..a lot) buying a "used diamond" and for his budjet, I was able to get a much larger, nicer stone then I would have got at a brick and mortar store.
Is buying your girl a used ring really that big of a deal? I mean, besides having less of a selection, I can't find a big deal in the idea of saving a ton of money for the same thing.
(and now for a little bling porn. Cause that's what we're all crusin this board for, right? :p)
ETA: GAH! ALL MY PICTURES CAME OUT ALL WARPED. IM A MAJOR FAIL DOWNLOADING PICTURES!
i wouldnt care if it was used or not....as long as its what you want and NOT from a previous relationship of your FIs. But my FIs best friend took his ring from his failed marriage and got it reset.... his new wife was fine with it. That im not to sure of, I wouldve told him to exhange it...but i wouldnt care from where!
@SuzySchmoozy:your ring is stunning
I would have a problem with a ring that was purchased for an ex or purchased before my FI met me. I like the fact that my FI took my personality and tastes into account when he bought it.
That being said, if he found the perfect ring for me at a pawn shop/antique shop/estate sale, I wouldn't have a problem with that. As long as he really was thinking of me when he bought it.
Diamond is a diamond... doesn't matter to me who has worn it before.
Your ring is gorgeous btw. I love marquise cuts and yours looks great on your finger.
Yeah, a ring from an ex, or from a relative's failed marriage? Not cool, for me personally.
I wouldn't mind a "used" ring that was an antique or something like that, but I think some of the stigma that comes with getting a ring from say, a pawn shop, or ebay and the like, is the reputable-ness of the seller. The risk of getting rippped off is pretty scary for some people. (Not that a brick and mortar store can't rip you off with a "new" ring, but it's more heard of happening elsewhere)
Yes, I agree that a ring from a pervious relationship would be the place I'd cross the line....even then, if money was a huge factor, and it was ALL he could afford, and had the diamond reset to look TOTALLY different..I couldn't hate on that.
Heck no. I'd love a ring from the 20's or 30's actually. If it was his ex wife's ring, then no.
I would be OK with a ring from a pawn shop, I think.
But def not from anyone I know's previous marriage. My BIL had offered us his old wedding ring to melt down the gold and use the money towards our rings. I wanted NO part of it. His marriage was horrible, deceitful and hurtful. I wanted no part of it to be a part of our marriage.
It's irrational but that's just how I felt.
After reading a lot about rings AFTER getting mine, I now feel differently. Before I was engaged I had the attitude that the diamond had to be new and I had to be the first woman to wear it. Now after reading so many stories and seeing so many pictures featuring antique rings, my attitude has changed. Of course, if my FI did get a ring from a pawn shop or antique store, I would probably have the diamond re-set into a sturdier, more modern setting because I'm pretty picky (I custom designed my ring so it's exactly how I like it... haha).
For those with "used" diamonds, do you know the specs of your stone? Did the store provide you with the diamond certification or did you have to find out size, cut, clarity, and color from an independent appraisal?
Funny enough, I jump at the chance to tell people he bought it at a pawn shop. Here in the woods of NH...I rarely see a stone as large as mine, and I actually QUITE often get the "who'd he half to rob to get the money for that" look from people. (which is really friggin obnoxious, grr) Around here, you're a fool to pay full price for something you could get a better deal on. (bragging about the amazing deal you got on your used chainsaw makes you look like a better NewEnglander then spending more on a new one. Aparantly)
Mine's a family ring, so it's plenty used. 4 generations. I prefer it to be "used," I like it to have a story behind it.
Thankyou, I LOVE it! (and I would have never chosen a marquise shape, but it looks so lovely on my long fingers, now I wouldn't ever pick a different shape)
@SuzySchmoozy: GAH! ALL MY PICTURES CAME OUT ALL WARPED. IM A MAJOR FAIL DOWNLOADING PICTURES! <------ This made me LOL so loud! :D
I think it's neat when someone gets a used diamond that has a story behind it, such as being passed down through the generations in a family. I also agree that there's nothing wrong with getting a used diamond at a pawn shop or similar situation. Like the OP said, more bang for your buck.
I do, however, have an issue with a used diamond if "used" meant the diamond was used in a different relationship for that man. If I were receiving a diamond that my man had given someone else I would feel second best, when in reality every woman should feel like her man's #1 gal when he proposes to her. (excuse the cornyness)
OP - Your ring is stunning btw.
Mine came with an aparasial from a jeweler that the pawn shop used. It had all the specs. FH bought the ring on the condition that it appraised reasonably the same by an indipendant jeweler (which it did)
I think there is a huge difference between a pawn shop or antique store ring, and a ring that was intended for an ex. They are both definitely "used," but the emotional intent behind a ring purchased for an ex wouldn't make me feel happy or special.
eta: If this board gave out a "worst photo adding Bee" award, I'd get it hands down.
I think as long as he buys it for YOU!! Thats what counts! Who cares if its "used" As long as it wasnt his ex wifes ring or something.
PLUS, it can be a WAYYYY better deal!! Actually, my ring is from a Pawn shop. I used to think those shops were dirty and bad places... they really arent.
FI is a pawnbroker, and of course he got it from there, plus he got an even better deal. My ring is 1.5 carat, princess, gorgeous, you can see through it beautifully. He actually took the stone out of one and put it in another setting. I cant remember what it was appraised for, but it was a pretty penny, and im sure he didnt pay anywhere near that, which is wonderful!!
He wants to get me a 2.5 carat that they have there and he can get it for a reallllllly good price, but my hands are tiny, and it looks silly on.
But, im a total supporter of getting rings FROM somewhere else, as long as it wasnt FOR someone else! :)
I often wonder what people think happens to diamonds that get traded in at jewelry stores. They don't get destroyed, they get reset and sold in new pieces of jewelry. I would guess that a fair percentage of women are wearing "used" diamonds and don't even know it.
It definitely depends on what you mean by used! I voted that it wouldn't bother me, but it would if it were an ex-wife or ex-FI's ring. Otherwise, if it were from a pawn shop or an antique dealer, I'd love it. I have my grandmother's engagement ring and it's one of my favorite rings (it is separate from my engagement ring, but I definitely wouldn't have minded if my husband used it for my engagement ring).
I have a "used" diamond, it's my grandmother's in a new setting. But if FI had kept the one he gave his first wife and gave that to me, I'd be pissed.
If it was from my fiance and he had used it for someone else before, I'd have a problem. But no problem at all if it was craigslist, eBay, pawnshop, heirloom, etc.
@SuzySchmoozy: oohh your ring is S-T-U-N-N-I-N-G!!
ok, can anyone help me clarify my picture issues here (I feel like a five year old) the pics I poted are from my iphone. they lookes fine on my phone, then super warped from my computer...and now that im back on my phone reading this thread, they look fine again...is it just my computer,or are my pictures all elongated?
For me. Used loose diamond/s ok. Used ring (unless family heirloom) Not ok. Not really sure why I feel this way or how much of a difference it is.
I encourage my SO to consider second hand rings, way more bang for your buck. I know of a few people who have pawn store rings, and they are gorgeous, and didn't cost very much.
My wedding band is "used". It's a 1/2ct channel set diamond band, which you usually see for $700+ new. Mine cost me $400 flat. It had not a flaw on it, not a scratch, the diamonds are of great quality...but no one wanted it because it was "used". I scooped it right up.
I think that if the ring is of good quality and not falling apart irreparably, then why the hell not get one secondhand? The only way it's not acceptable to me is, like many bees have said, if it was bought for an ex or someone else in your FI's life originally.
I don't think it's a big deal, especially since my SO and I aren't engaged right now because we can't afford a ring.
Btw, your ring is exactly the kind of ring I'm looking for! It's so gorgeous!
Getting a "used" ring is probably one of the best things you could do! Why?
#1: You're recycling precious materials, the mining of which causes everything from slavery to environmental destruction. So you're helping to save people and the planet!
#2: Diamond prices are artificially inflated because of stockpiling practices. A diamond's resale value is only 30% of its purchase value.
#3: You're supporting a local economy by buying from a local dealer or individual, rather than supporting a South African millionaire (looking at you, DeBeers).
So your FI is AWESOME for going to a pawn shop and getting that ring, which looks amazing!
Used diamond second hand, pawn shop, ebay, family stone would be fine if it was cleaned up and reset for me. Used diamond bought with a previous girl in mind... no.
when I think of new, I think "newly cut". you're right, all diamonds (from mines) are super old!
well, the only downside I see in getting a used diamond is that it might come with some damage. sometimes damage can compromise the strength of the entire diamond so you might want to get it checked before you buy.
my vintage diamond has chips around the edge- it's common, called a "bearded girdle". (tee hee hee-- beards!) anyway, they don't compromise the strength of the diamond overall. also, you can't really see it with the naked eye unless you look at it under a very strong light. I love my old ring, and I love knowing my it has a history.
@burris4: exactly.
My diamond is used, but we got it from a local jeweler, I am glad it was used, I was convinced I wanted a diamond alternative (moissy, asha, etc.), because I wanted to be financially, socially, and environmentally responsible, and that was how I thought it had to be done. But my center stone is previously used so while different than I thought it would be, it was still responsible in all of those ways, and my DH was totally against not getting a "real" diamond, so it fulfills both of our requirments 
. Also since it was used it was GIA certified (which is not very common in our small town, and was a non negotiable for DH) so my DH knew he wasn't getting ripped off.
I have no problem with used rings. FI and I definitely looked at pawn shops and the such for my ring, though he ended up choosing one from a jeweler in Israel on eBay. I would only have an issue with the ring being used if it had originally been given to an old girlfriend or if it were an heirloom ring that had been used recently in a marriage that ended in divorce.
Even if you buy a diamond from a jeweler, how do you know it wasn't traded in by someone for an "upgrade?" I'd would be willing to bet that more of us are wearing "used" diamonds vs. ones that are newly cut. It's not like every diamond in the store came fresh out of the mine hahaha :)
I would have loved to pick out a beautiful used ring but my FI wanted to buy one from a jeweler for the lifetime protection plan. I wouldn't take a ring that was his ex wifes or anything like that though.
I wouldnt care as long as it wasnt an ex fiance ring or anything like that lol.
If so id sell it and buy myself my own hahaha!
other than that I dont care. (pawn shop, bought off family or friend etc.. )
Buying a ring in a jewlery store doesn't guarentee that the stone has never been worn. There are many times where the store will have a bench jeweler reset the stone because they can then sell it for more than they could a "used" diamond.
Antiques are beautiful, and the craftsmanship is INCREDIBLE!! I personally find antique cuts FAR more appealing than a modern cut.
As long as the ring wasn't a ring he meant to give to a previous relationship, it's silly to spend TONS more on a "new ring", when you can get a ring from IdonowIdont.com or Recycledbride.com for so much less.
Hmm, as long it wasn't given to an ex partner or something then I see no harm. I like vintage rings and as long as I got a say in what the style was, I would be thrilled with it, regardless if it was not a shiny new one :)
My FI gave me his Grandma's ring... I think it is so special I get to be a part of this rings life! I am not a fan of most of the 'new' rings or diamonds out there.... and most 'new' diamonds are made artificially. I love how clear my 'old' diamond is!
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