Is getting married important to you?

posted 1 week ago in Relationships
  • poll: Do you plan to get married at some point in your life?
    Yes. : (78 votes)
    92 %
    No, we need a piece of paper to prove our commitment to one another. : (7 votes)
    8 %
  • Post # 16
    Member
    2764 posts
    Sugar bee

     

    mrsnyctola :  “For me it is alone, or “HAPPY” married, and both are good for me. But I do not want for a relationship when we together and never are married. Nor am I wanting a marriage that is not an excellent fit. I have a high bar and many asks for a partner because I am very happy by myself.”

    I love this! I felt the exact same way when I was single. 

    Post # 17
    Member
    53 posts
    Worker bee

    Marriage is important to me, and I wanted to get married. That being said, DH was on the fence for awhile about whether he wanted to ever get married, and since I was sure he was “the one” for me, I’d rather be his forever girlfriend than someone else’s wife just to have the title. Luckily he changed his mind and proposed and we got married, so I got the best of both worlds 🙂

    Post # 18
    Member
    20 posts
    Newbee

    Yes and I will never date someone who doesn’t want marriage. I see it as wayyy more than a piece of paper. It’s a legal and bindng contract between two people and and I see it as the ultimate commitment. 

    Post # 19
    Member
    889 posts
    Busy bee

    Yes, marriage was important to me if I wanted to be with someone long-term and they felt the same way about me.  I didn’t want to just live with someone forever and be their girlfriend. There is nothing wrong with that and I know plenty of people who live together and have been together for years and have chosen not to get married.  But I knew I wanted to.  And luckily, so did my hubby. I think it’s definitely a personal choice and it’s different for everyone/every couple.

    Post # 20
    Member
    5219 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2016 - Lola's Trailer Park

    It was important to me to get married. However, hindsight, if I ever end up single again I likely won’t remarry. We can date but I ain’t going through all this again. 

    Post # 21
    Member
    1154 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2018

    The whole “it’s just a pice of paper” is such a tired argument. People have been binding themselves together in marriage throughout all civilizations in all of recorded history, with and without pieces of paper. If the paper means nothing to you, then why is signing the paper a big deal? I personally don’t care if a couple gets legally married, as long as the union is between consenting adults I don’t care what form it takes. However, legal marriage DOES offer a lot of protections for people, so there’s that.

    I tend to find that those folks who say “we’re really strong and we don’t need a piece of paper” really mean “I might want to leave someday and I don’t want to go through the hassle of a divorce if I do” Again, just my impressions, you do you.

    I’m getting married and signing the paper because I love my FI and I want to be together for the rest of our lives and have it legally recognised. Entire groups of people have fought for the right to do this over the centuries (LGBT couples, interracial couples, etc.) so clearly not everyone thinks it’s “just a piece of paper”

    Post # 22
    Member
    243 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    It’s not just a “piece of paper.” Even if in someone’s mind, they want to believe that it’s only as important as a “piece of paper,” it still isn’t. A marriage license is a legal document that grants certain rights to the two people who apply for and sign it. It’s a contract, and has just as much authority as any other contract you may sign. So, that argument truly holds no weight at all.

    Beyond that, as a Christian marriage is highly important to me. I also plan on having children, and want them to have a set of married parents, where we all share the same name. I believe that marriage provides unity, and is a visible sign of a lifetime commitment between two people.

    Post # 23
    Member
    158 posts
    Blushing bee

    Marriage is extremely important for me. It would be a dealbreaker if my partner didn’t want to ever get married. I want to have kids, and I believe in waiting to have sex until marriage. 

    Beyond this, though, I think that the committment of a marriage provides something stronger. It is what you make of it, of course, but the gravity of the vows we will make at our wedding are more difficult to just break on a whim than just a resolution in my mind. 

    Religiously, to me marriage has extreme significance. I believe that there are many blessings to be found in the marriage union if one is faithful and true. 

    Post # 24
    Member
    146 posts
    Blushing bee

    Marriage is important to me.  I was with my former partner for 16 years.  We had 2 children together.  Had owned 2 homes over the years.  We weren’t able to be legally married as a lesbian couple, and always talked about how great it would be if/when marriage equality ever happened.  When marriage equality passed in New York I was ecstatic.  I couldn’t wait to round up my kids and go to city hall and make it official!  My ex said she wouldn’t marry me because she couldn’t see the point–it’s just a piece of paper, and she already “felt married”.  It broke my heart, and it really started the downfall of our relationship.  Our friends and family would excitedly ask when we were going to get married, and it was down right embarrassing to tell them that we weren’t.  When asked why, I would refer them to her for explanation–which led to countless fights.  

    It was is so much more than a piece of paper to me.  It’s the committment.  The honor.  The binding together of a family.  

    Post # 25
    Member
    126 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    This whole ‘it’s just a piece of paper’ is tired old, overused, circular argument. If that were really the case, people would just get it over with.

    Marriage is a commitment, a dedication to the other half person that you love and plan to be by their side until someone passes on. It’s a honour and a bond.

    I believe in marriage and would not stay with someone if that were not in the future. Some people might say I am being outdated or too traditional.

    I am the child of parents who got married when I was 10…I was at the wedding and so I have been the child with unmarried, socially uncertain parents. It’s not something I would want for my own children, especially given all the financial, social and whatnot implications of legal union.

    Post # 26
    Member
    1579 posts
    Bumble bee

    I needed that piece of paper for my last marriage to really feel that commitment from my ex. Now that I’m with someone who is a much better match for me, my view points have changed. Getting married would be nice some day, but I don’t feel have the same need this time around.

    Post # 27
    Member
    260 posts
    Helper bee

    Try talking to a hospital and telling them you need access to your long-term SO in critical care because your love is as strong as a piece of paper. 

    It’s not. 

    Post # 28
    Member
    3868 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    jessie092 :  Seeing as I’m on a wedding website….yes, getting married was very importanat to me.

    I always dreamed of my future wedding (to a certain extent), yes, but what I really fantasized about? Being married. Having a marriage. Building a life together. I fully believe you can have that WITHOUT being legally married, but I also just don’t believe it’s a “simple piece of paper.” I buy into its important and what it means to ME, but I absolutely 100% respect that others look at it as something that isn’t necessary. Basically, I don’t think that marriage is the be all, end all and people can have loving and fulfilling relationships without being married. But it was important to me to get and be married. 

    Post # 29
    Member
    2098 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Aside from wanting to be married before having kids, it was important for me to be his legal wife as he could very easily be injured at work. If we weren’t married, I would have no say in his care in hospital (if anything ever happened), and that worried me since the only family we live near is his brother who DH is not particularly close to.

    Post # 30
    Member
    578 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2017

    I voted for no, under the assumption there was a typo and it should read “No, we don’t need a piece of paper” – because I honestly did not care here nor there for marriage. To me, the relationship between myself and my husband is the same as prior to marriage and I would have been happy to live the rest of my life with him married or unmarried.

    Definitely not a dealbreaker at all for me.

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