- 8 years ago
- Wedding: April 2011
OK…This is my first post but you guiys ahve been so helpful with other people’s issues I was wondering what type of input you may have on my situation.
My FI and I are in the process of planning the wedding. While trying to respect all of the rules of ettiquite we are finding that we can not afford to have all the people we want to have at both ceremony and the reception. Now i know most people would say invite all or invite none but its a bit more tricky than that.
first off, i am the eldest of 7 children and both of my parents are the youngest of 5. SO with just MY IMIDIATE maternal and paternal family, The guest list is at or around 30. and those are people who I cant NOT invite and wouldnt want to not invite either. Now my fiance’s family is much smaller than mine but basically with JUST our families, we are looking at a guest list of 100.
Now of course we have friends who will be invited as well putting our guest list cap at 35 (the maximum our venue will hold….deposit has already been put down and date is already reserved, STDs have been sent as well but mainly to those who dont live in town)
Seems simple right? Well my FI and I met in college in band actually and our college bandmembers are VERY excited about our union…and The band does function as a psuedo family to some extent. NEedless to say as soon as we were engaged, not only did word spread quickly, there are MANY MANY people who want to witness our nuptials and we would like them their as well. the problem is that it is hard to invite some band members without others for obvious reasons….Oh and BTW the Band we met in marches btween 250-400 people at any given time…
Unfourtunately, it is absolutely impossible for us to ahve the reception we want and invite all of the people taht we want. Most of our family memebrs do NOT live in the same town as me and my FI….infact ONLY my mom dad and sibs do so ALL of our relatives would have totravel and we feel it is rude to haev them come all this way and not to be able to provide a meal for them. We also know that the reception is probably the ONLY reason that our families will have to come together like this in the future and we would liek for the reception to serve as an opportunity to get to know each other.
Our solution right now is to have the wedding and invite basically anyone who would like to come and support us (and we welcome the support) and have a reception following that for family only (the friends we included in the first reception are basically family minus the fact that we do not share blood). We then plan to ahev a 2nd reception with in the month following the wedding for all of our co-workers, bandsmates, college friends and whatever family may like to attend.
We arent trying to get extra gifts or anything like that. We really just want to give all of the people who are important to us a chance to party with us as well but due to the types of thisngs we want to do at our first reception, that number of guests would not be appropriate…..
SO what do you guys think?