Post # 1
Please, please can some bees out there give me some postive aspects about having children?! All I ever hear is people moan and horror stories about birth, parenting, lack of social life, breakdown of relationship. I just don’t ever hear the positives! My clock is ticking, I am 32 but I still want a happy life! Who wants to be miserable and tired? and if you are is it all worth it? Tell me some magical stories bees!
Post # 3
My son is 7 months old and he is the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me! It is the most amazing, beautiful feeling to have a baby. Pregnancy can be uncomfortable, and yes childbirth hurts, but it only lasts a few hours. Totally worth it! I would say it has made me and my husband closer. We sometimes argue about household chores and responsibilities, but no more than we did before. Seeing him with the baby makes me love him in a whole new way. And as for social life, yes it has changed. I have to plan around the baby, but since so many friends are having babies too its like everyone’s idea of a good time is changing. No more nights out partying at bars, but more dinners at someone’s house or daytime things with the babies.
Post # 4
I agree with @KitKatNYC:. Having a baby is the best thing that’s every happened to DH and me. He is so amazing, I love watching him grow up. Don’t get me wrong: I haven’t slept over 4 hours in a row in 9 months, it’s CONSTANT (especially now that he’s super mobile), and it can be emotionally difficult, too.
BUT it is totally worth it. It enriches my experience in my marriage, it has made me a better person, and it’s crazy how much you can love them!
Having kids isn’t for everyone, and I am never one to encourage it if it doesn’t seem like the right thing for someone, but it can definitely be an amazing experience.
Post # 5
@Hermoine: Great thread and questions. When I was younger (am currently 33yo), I wanted babies soooo much. However, as I’ve gotten older and become more used to my childfree lifestyle, I’ve begun to secondguess myself. Now I’d say my desire to have children versus being CBC is at 60-40. I’d really love to hear from folks who weren’t necessarily 100% enthusiastic about having children and now have them.
Post # 6
Despite never being the sort of person who cooed over other people babies, I was really quite impressed with mine! I waited until I was 27 and 29 before I had them and sure, it was hard work having an 18 month gap. The sense of responsibility was worrying at the outset because I suddenly realised that I knew precisely nothing about babies.
By the time they were 5 and 6 I was a single parent and that had its challenges but at no point did I ever regret having them. I loved watching them grow into the delightful chaps they are now even though there were times when I questioned my sanity!
There are definitely occasions when you wonder if you’ll ever get a whole night’s sleep again or stop wearing baby sick or clearing up poo. But I look back now and realise that actually, intense as this was, their chilldhood was gone in a flash.
Post # 7
I love this thread. I don’t have children, just commenting to follow.
Post # 8
@Hermoine: I can understand your worries. All I heard about was how horrible it was giving birth and how kids can be. But after I had my daughter I look back and say it was worth every second and i would do it all over again. you wont know until you have ur own kids.
Post # 9
It’s hard but soooo worth it.
People love telling the birth horror stories so you almost never hear the amazingly beautiful birth stories. There are a lot of them out there if you look. Birth isn’t close to being as horrible as people make it sound.
Parenting takes patience and a lot of work but when you see it work, when you see your little one succeed, learn something new or discover something new you’ll forget all the hard moments and makes it all worth it.
Post # 10
Posting to follow the thread. I’ve never really desired to have kids but now I’m married and approaching 39 so it’s now or never!
Post # 11
My daughter is the greatest joy in my life. having her was terrifying, hard, stressful but it has also been full of joy, laughter, happiness. I can still look at her and I seriously feel like I could burst into tears out of my happiness. She takes my breath away.
She is 4 now and so so smart so I feel constant pride and joy when I teach her things. She is head strong and moody but that doesn’t take away from her amazingness.
Oh and also, the actual birth was a piece of cake for me. I had preterm labor scares and horrible pain while pregnant but the birth was so easy. I was 3 days late and went into labor on my own. After I got an EPI I was so happy and could have pushed out like 6 kids. I didn’t feel a thing and actually asked them to get a mirror bc I didn’t believe she was actually coming out!
Having kids changes everything, you feel things you never thought you could. Even when she drives me nuts (like now) I could still squeeze her and never let go. It’s an amazing feeling…
Post # 12
I definately believe that having a child takes a toll on alot of marriages.
I believe it changes the intimacy part of marriage.
I think women more than men feel the maternal pull, even though men agree with having children I think they prefer the sexual parts of marriage to remain as vibrant and spontanous.. It does change when you have children, women may say having children deepens the love and closeness but if most men were honest they would like the early days back..just my opinion.
Post # 13
@Chrissy26: Totally off topic, but you are GORGEOUS! Just had to throw that out there! Haha
Post # 14
@Hermoine: Don’t have any positive stories about having children, sorry… I decided to remain childfree. I can list many positives regarding my decision (travel, career, quiet time, volunteer time) but you didn’t ask for those!
I only wanted to speak up to say that you shouldn’t talk yourself into something because society thinks you should, or all your friends are doing it, or just because you always thought you would… its very possible to have a fulfilling life without procreating. What is right for other people may not be right for you.
Good luck making your decision! 🙂
Post # 15
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
We’re married and we have a teenager. Honestly, I love being DS’s Mom. The early years were tough, but once he hit 5 or so and I had this amazing excuse to do all sorts of fun things with him, it became awesome. And now? Now I am dreading him leaving for college in a few years. I want to have another!
Edit: We do have a social life, as do all of our friends with kids. We hang out with eachother, because we all understand what it’s like to have to leave early for a little one’s total meltdown or to run late because of an explosive diaper when getting in the car or have to head home from a girls night at 9 because the kiddo will be up at 5:30am no matter how late Momma stays out the night before. We also have solid marriages filled with love, respect, and good communication. Parenthood is what you make of it.
Post # 16