(Closed) Is he being unreasonable? We can afford a wedding = We should buy a new TV?

posted 7 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I would let him get the TV. Or maybe register for one so if someone doesn’t buy it, you can get the discount at the end with whatever is left on your registry.
Are you paying for the wedding on your own or as a couple?

Post # 4
Hostess
18646 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

That makes no sense at all!  The whole point of budgeting is that you need to make sure you have the money and don’t buy something just because you are buying something else!  I would have a serious talk with him about how much the wedding is costing and where you are financially now  You also probably want to use this time before the wedding to talk about money management styles so you can see if you two think the same or if you think differently.  Good luck!

Post # 5
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I guess if you’re the one paying for everything, you get final say =. If you can barely cover everything, I would hold off on a tv until it’s comfortable to spend that amount. If you’re eating PB&J’s for lunch just to save money, it’s safe to say a big new television is a luxury at this point.

It bugs me that he wants to spend YOUR money.

Post # 6
Member
3709 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

IMO, if you are scrimping and saving to pay for a wedding, then HE can scrimp and save if he wants a new TV. Especially since he seems unwilling to compromise about where the TV is coming from…used, smaller, etc.

Post # 7
Member
1883 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

If he wants a new tv he can go pay for one himself. You are budgeting for a wedding.

Post # 8
Member
336 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Ditto, ejs4y8. Especially the last part…

Post # 9
Member
654 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I don’t think it’s really reasonable to put EVERY penny toward the wedding.  You should still be able to enjoy your life in the meantime, and you don’t want to end up resenting the wedding because of what you had to give up to get it.  If he really wants the tv, let him get it.  Just maybe work it out so that he saves up out of the money you budgeted for spending money (even if it takes awhile), so that it won’t affect your wedding savings.

 

Post # 10
Member
5658 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

Is he not contributing financially at all? Does he make any of his own money?

If you are paying for the wedding AND for this possible TV, I think you need to discuss with him that there are three options:

1) You do not buy a TV until the wedding is over and/or you have money to spare for one (Also, registering for the TV is a smart idea).

2) He gets a job and pays for the TV himself, or at least help you pay for it.

3) You compromise and buy a cheaper TV that fits more easily into the budget rather than an expensive 40″ flatscreen TV.

Post # 11
Member
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

This is what I’m confused about. Does he make his own money?

Post # 12
Member
6394 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

Another ditto for ejs4y8. I would put it on the registry, but I would also tell him that he needs to save for it himself. You can’t be expected to pay for every purchase.

Post # 15
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

I think its a matter of priorities. Yours is paying for the wedding and his is the TV.  So it is fair that you both get your priorities. Its NOT fair that you have to pay for both. If he wants to a TV, then he should scrimp and save.  If you were both paying for the wedding, then you should both pay for a TV, but that is not the case.

However, there is the argument that since you are getting married its “your money”, but I dont buy that. My FH and I split shared expenses based on the % of income we make. Big additional expenses are split or paid by one or the other depending on what it is and who wants it.  (Assuming we have met our saving guidelines that month etc).

 

EDIT: what I mean by % of income. We both put in 50% of our income for shared living expenses, eating out etc.  The rest is “my” money. Of course I will use if for us stuff, but if I wanted a new TV and FH didnt want to spend the money on it, then it would come from account. Of course, if it were really expensive we would both come to an agreement about its not nice to spend that kind of money on something that the other doesnt agree on.  

Post # 16
Member
5658 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

@bonsai_spork: In my relationship, my SO makes significantly more money than I do. As such, he pays for most of the expensive purchases and I cover the smaller ones. That said, I do not get to have whatever I want just because we share money. He is better with money so he does the budgeting, plus he makes most of it anyway so I think it is fair that he can veto purchases I want to make. Sure, he tries very hard to be fair and compromise with me or work something out if I want something expensive, but beggars can’t be choosers. If I really want something that he doesn’t want to pay for, I either have to contribute more money to it myself, wait or not get it at all.

The wedding is important to you and this TV is important to him, but if you’re paying for the WHOLE wedding, then he has to compromise on something.

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