(Closed) IS HE OVER HIS EX?????

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: is he over his ex wife???
    yes : (1 votes)
    2 %
    no : (34 votes)
    54 %
    he still has feelings for her : (28 votes)
    44 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    82 posts
    Worker bee

    @asher212:  Red flags everywhere.  A liar who keeps lying.  GET OUT NOW. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    202 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    That’s a little too inappropriate of a relationship for me to deal with. I’ve never dealt with a divorced relationship so I couldn’t tell you if this is normal or not, but I sure as hell wouldn’t put up with it.

     

    I don’t think you are overreacting about this at all.

    Post # 5
    Member
    291 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    @asher212: I wouldn’t trust this guy as far as I could throw him, and I have very poor upper body strength. 

    Seriously, there are red flags all over this shady guy. Not only is he controlling (him looking through your phone all the time? Yeah, not ok), but he is clearly lying to you, and is obviously capable of cheating and lying about it. I’d definitely run far, far away from this sketchy dude.

    Post # 6
    Member
    7319 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    @asher212:  Re-read your post, only pretend you didn’t write it. Pretend a stranger wrote this and you’re reading it for the first time. What would you tell her?

    Post # 7
    Member
    734 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    @Daisy_Mae:  Exactly. +111111111111111

     

    This is crazy! I would NOT trust this guy at all!

    Post # 8
    Member
    9955 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Soooo many RED Flags here (and numerous other issues with your relationship with this man)

    A man who is still married, when you met him is not FREE to move on.

    And consequently in some way he is of course still tied to his kids and her, despite his being with you.

    Not surprising then, that years on he is still having issues with her, and him and defiining what that relationship is

    Because he never ended it appropriately, and had time to heal / recover / rebuild himself without that relationship

    Add in the fact, that they’ll always be involved because of the kids, and well… I don’t see where any of this is going to improve any time soon (if ever)

    Breaking off the Engagement was probably a good idea

    I’d stay gone

    In the long run, you’ll be better off without him

    And learn from this experience… look for a guy who is truly available and mature enough to give his heart to you 100% from the second he meets you

    PS… When I was a college student, I got “drawn in” by a married man… he wasn’t upfront with me either.  Thankfully I figured it out pretty quickly, and walked away from that relationship BEFORE it went too far… I couldn’t see myself continuing it and doing wrong by myself (and his kids).  Too much guilt for me.

    As women we have to be careful… there are certainly men out there that are deceptive liars… IMO they aren’t worth the bother.  If they lie about one thing, chances are they’ll lie about other stuff as well.  I wouldn’t want that worry in my life continually.  It NEVER makes for a fulfilliing relationship.  Just a life filled with heartache

     

    Post # 9
    Member
    951 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    Looks like you already know that the relationship isn’t a good one. If he was willing to go behind his ex-wife’s back, then he’s willing to go behind yours–which he has apparently done.

    You deserve better.

    Post # 10
    Member
    1465 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @skjumps:   I agree with you…It sounds like he is cheating on her with the ex, him checking her phone is his way of telling on himself because he wants to see if you are doing what he is. When people cheat they just assume the other person is cheating too. He had her put her education on hold for his ex… come on now; you have to see the signs.

    RUN, RUN, AND DONT LOOK BACK !!! THERE SHOULD BE A SIREN GOING OFF IN YOUR HEAD

     

    Post # 11
    Member
    82 posts
    Worker bee

    @niasg1:  Hi!  I think you replied to the wrong poster!  @asher212 is the OP!  I point this out because I think your advice is spot on and I think OP should read and consider it.   

    Post # 12
    Member
    1465 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @skjumps:  I was agreeing with her and edited the post and added the comment…thanks

    Post # 13
    Member
    9955 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    @CorvusCorax: —> This

    What is that old saying…

    If they’ll do it WITH YOU, they’ll certainly have do qualms on doing it TO YOU

    Sorry, but I am one of those gals who does believe in the old adage…

    Once a cheater… always a cheater.

     

    Post # 14
    Member
    3248 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    @asher212: No way, he’s not over her and from the sound of it doesn’t want to ever be. Sounds like he’s cheating on you. And– he said he’d pay for her school tuition if she moved nearby? At the expense of YOUR education when you are supposed to be his fiancee? What a jerk.

    Good for you for calling off the engagement. He’s no good and I think you know it– free yourself to find someone better, because there are MUCH better men than this out there!

     

     

    Post # 15
    Member
    2082 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    @asher212:  There is a theory I heard that is usually correct. If he cheats on someone else with you, he’ll cheat on you with someone else.

    Post # 16
    Member
    648 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    If you have to ask if he’s over his ex, you know the answer and the answer is no.

     

    I’m sorry to say, but this situation is full of warning signs to get out before you make an even bigger commitment. I understand that he doesn’t want to have a bad relationship with his ex, but to have an inappropriate conversation via text? Not okay. And I find it funny how he’s the one messing around and yet he’s checking your phone as if you’re doing something wrong. He’s clearly feeling suspicious that you might be doing what he’s doing, but his suspicions are misplaced.

     

    Run fast an far, because his ex will always be in his life and he’s proven he can’t be trusted with her.

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