Post # 1
Ok, so my fiance and I have been engaged for 9 months now and we have both stated that we would like to get married before the end of 2014. (this year) We had originally thought of a private ceremony in March but due to a very difficult living situation that was nixed. So, now we are building a home for ouselves and we have agreed that we will marry after the house is built. However, my fiance informed me last night that while the house will be liveable…our budget will not allow us to put all the finishing touches on the house right away. I asked, tentatively, if this ment that our wedding would also have to wait. He said no, but I am wondering if perhaps he will use the fact that the hous isn’t COMPLETE to delay our vows further or if he will in fact settle on a date with me once we’ve settled in to the new house. I know he loves me and I know he wants to marry me but I guess if he isn’t ready I wish he would just tell me instead of making excuses. After we move in we still have to: get him a suit, pick a date, pick a location, pick a preacher, get his driver’s license renewed for marriage licese (which also includes getting new social security card), getting a photographer, and actually GETTING MARRIED. He seemed so excited and ready back in February when we were planning our March date, he was listening to music choices and we were discussing pastors and location and now…not so much. Any advice?
Post # 2
I don’t see any issue. But if you are worried, why not encourage him to take care of a few details now (such as renewing his lisence and SSN). If he does it without issue, you’ll feel more confident. If he doesn’t then you two should have a talk to aleviate your fears.
Post # 3
You must have a timeline from the builders or contractors for house completion, right? Why don’t you pick a date and location now for a few months after the projected completion?
If you wait any longer, you won’t be able to find a venue, officiant, etc. for this year.
Post # 4
- Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY
According to the info on your OP, unless you have any other reason to believe he is stalling that you did not disclose here, I think you are overreacting.
Still don’t understand why renewing a license and getting a replacement SSN card would need to wait until you move in to the new house.
Post # 5
I dont see why some of that stuff (license and SSN card) cant be done beforehand. There’s lots of “planning” you can do, and ideas you can discuss without a date set. If he’s willing to talk about it, I dont think you need to be worried. You asked him point blank if this is a stall tactic, and he said no. Unless you have a good reason to believe he’d lie to you, you’re probably overreacting.
Post # 6
roser443: Given your reasons presented, I don’t see why you can not take care of the marriage before the house.
Post # 7
There’s no issue! If he said the wedding doesn’t have to wait, then I suggest don’t wait another second! Sit down together, pick a date, and when the date is done you will be able to focus all of your energy on planning the extra stuff. Don’t let him stall! He loves you! The derailment in March just slowed you down a little bit but now that the house isn’t the problem just go for it!
Post # 8
roser443: If he said it doesn’t have to wait I’d suggest y’all sit down and pick a date and at the very least get your venue/location booked. Our wedding is in March 2015 and a couple of the places we liked were already booked through next summer!