- 3 years ago
I’ve never posted before, but need some advice. I met a guy around Halloween time 2012 and we had an amazing connection and hit it off great. We dated for about 2 months before becoming “official”. Things were going great and then around February he found out he got a great job offer working for the state department overseas. This job was really a great opportunity because the pay was great, and all of his living expenses would be paid for including rent, phone, moving, etc. So it was a great way to save a lot of money. The duration of this job assignment is two years and he decided to take it. He told me this around February of this year, and told me he has to leave at the end of March. I assumed that would be the end of the relationship because even though we had a great connection and relationship, we had been together a very short time, he would be gone for two years, and I couldn’t come live with him because I’m in nursing school for two years as well. But he said he wanted to stay together and have a long distance relationship. He said since I finish school the same time he finishes this assignment, it would work out.
I thought about it and didn’t really want to commit to a 2 year long distance relationship with someone across the world from me. I told him that the only way I would do it is if there was a more serious commitment, like getting engaged. I told him this but didn’t expect anything to happen because we would only know each other 5 months when he leaves, so I just enjoyed the time I had left with him. He was going to fly out march 31, and that weekend had his mom come to where we live so she could see him off as well. The day before he was set to fly out, I spent the day with him, showing his mom around the city. We had dinner at a nice place, and afterwards he said he wanted to show her the beach. So we drove to a little secluded beach where we had spent a lot of time hanging out together the last few months. When we reached the steps leading down to the beach, his mom stayed behind which I found weird. We were walking along the beach at sunset, and right then he got down on one knee and proposed and gave me a beautiful ring. I was happy and shocked. When we came back up the stairs, his mom had already known. He encouraged me to tell my parents and friends. The next day he flew out.
We both know we can’t get married until May/June 2015 because that is when I finish school, and he finishes his job assignment. So it is a long ways off and a two year engagement. However, I still want to talk about things regarding a wedding and plan some things right now…. just a tentative date and narrow down ceremony venues, etc. But whenever I try to bring this up, he tells me he doesn’t want to talk about it because it is too early 🙁 I realize it’s early and we have plenty of time to plan, but the fact that he keeps shooting me down every time I try to discuss it makes me wonder if he really wants it. Or if he just proposed because I told him that I wouldn’t stay with him long distance without that greater commitment. I hope I didn’t force him into it. I even asked him if I forced him into proposing when he refused to talk about the wedding, and he said he can’t be made to do something he doesn’t want to do. That made me feel a little better, but I can’t help but think that other guys who propose are excited about having a wedding and want to plan and make it happen asap? Maybe I’m overthinking it and just crazy haha? I don’t want to be strung along and would love your opinions. So far he has refused to talk seriously about absolutely anything regarding a wedding