Post # 1
trying to keep it short. My parents visited us for the first time and we all took a vacation together. There HUsband was very rude, curt to my mom. He said he is sorry to be, saying it was a grudge he held b cos of a remark she had made 5 years back. I was unhapy about it. But I let it go.
My husband was the pits. when my little brother who is 16 was also holidaying with us had a problem with his flight. His flight got canceled and he was not sure of how he would get back. He was meeting my parents after 8 months and wanted to spend more time with us. My husband acted like a jerk and was screaming at my brother. My mother decided she would stay back and put my brother on an another flight and then reach us. My husband flew off the handle, and was screaming away and made my borther leave. Neither me or my parents or brother were happy about it. MY husband did not want to drive one extra hour and as it was his car we had to keep quiet and listen to him. My parents are so hurt they have resolved never to visit me again b cos of my husband. Back at home, my husband would go on nagging about eveything, “who loaded the dishwaher?”, Who did this, who did that.
I hated his behavior. I need to know how to make my parents feel welocme and make my annoying husband realise he was wrong. My parents loved him before this holiday and have shared a great relationhip with him. Which he has successfully ruined.
A bit about him, his family is not close or happy together. they are just money minded and always want money. My family on the other hand is always giving and warm.
I am sorry it is long…
Post # 3
It sounds like your husband is stressed out and unhappy about something in his life that is being projected onto your parents. Are you guys having money trouble? Does he hate his job? If you can find out what he is unhappy about then you can try and find a solution together. If he is normally a good guy then I would give him a pass on this and honestly your parents should too. We are all allowed to have off days. I wouldn’t force him to apologize or see that he is “wrong” as it helps absolutely nothing in the situation except make him more miserable. If he offers to apologize then that is different.
If this is starting to become a trend (6 months or more) of bad behavior then you guys need to get yourself into counseling.
Post # 4
It sounds like your husband doesn’t think he did anything wrong, and that’s pretty concerning. If my husband ever yelled at any member of my family, that wouldn’t be cool with me. Might I suggest couples counseling for the two of you? I think he needs to learn that he can’t treat your family that way. He has some anger issues if he feels the need to scream at people when things aren’t going exactly the way as planned.
When he’s calmer, maybe you can sit down and have a talk with him about how disrespected your parents now feel and how it’s his job to mend that relationship. Not to mention, what did your mom say 5 years ago that he’s still carrying a grudge over? Something seems a little fishy there and I would try to get to the bottom of it.
Post # 5
Thanks so much. Makes me feel better. I hope my parents and bro can let it go. i don’t think he has had a happy family life (he may not agree to it) His family is strange. I have put up with all the mean and horrid things his mom has said and I have not been disrespectful ever. If I should start then he would know. Sadly, I have had a good up bringing and I shall not. I guess Ill give it some time and hope his ruffled feathers settle down.
Post # 6
Did this behavior catch you by surprise or does he have bursts of anger like this frequently (and not related to your family)? I know my family would be hurt, like yours, but also extremely worried about my well-being witnessing something like that. Even if he doesn’t get angry like that a lot, that was the last impression they were left with.
Have you spoken to your family since this happened?
Post # 7
This has been the first time he has acted this way. I have spoken to my family. they are upset and they don’t want to visit me anymore. They are happy he keeps me happy. They hope my husband will realise his mistake.
He doesn’t get angry normally. but this month I have been noticing he has control issues. He feels everyone must act and behave and do things the way he wants it. Not certain whether this is going to be a problem for us. 🙁
Post # 8
Hmm. Control issues don’t usually crop up out of nowhere. I’d say either he has been hiding that side of him or something else has been bothering him lately and he isn’t dealing with it properly. Do you think you can talk to him to try and figure out what’s going on? Or is he not open to talking about what happened that weekend?